Special

Lyrical Dissection: DJ Khaled ft Drake, Rick Ross, & Lil Wayne “No New Friends”

This is Lyrical Dissection, a feature at Nerd With An Afro where I take a song out the musical morgue and start cutting it open. It gets messy sometimes, so you better bring some gloves. This time, we’ll be reviewing DJ Khaled featuring Drake, Rick Ross, and Lil Wayne “No New Friends.”

Stay down with my day one niggas, and we in the club screaming
No new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no no new
Still here with my day one niggas, so you hear me say
No new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no no new
I still ride with my day one niggas, I don’t really need
No new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no no new
I stay down from day one so I say
fuck all y’all niggas except my niggas
fuck all y’all niggas except my niggas
one more time
Fuck all y’all niggas except my niggas
fuck all y’all niggas
Stay down from day one,
so I say
(Fuck your fake friends where your real friends at?)
OK, let me tell you why the hook of this song is complete bullshit. Aside from being repetitively annoying and the fact that Drake can’t sing, it’s VERY ironic. Drake and everyone in this song are talking about no new friends and being with your old friends, which I get, but they have made a LOT of new friends when they became famous, so they shouldn’t speak about that particular subject. DJ Khaled shows up and yells his name and his usual one-liners.
ah, man this shit so ill that we had to restart it
H-town my second home like I’m James Harden
Money counter go brrr when you selling out the garden
Four car garage, porn star minaj
Birdman go brrr cause he know this shit retarded
Fuck her on the floor before we make it to the bed
Switch your ass really comes started from the bottom, yes lord
OVO sound man I’m proud of my niggas,
Knew we would make it never doubted my niggas
All my bitches love me
If I had a baby mama she would probably be richer then a lot of you niggas
That’s luxury dawg, day one niggas you’re stuck with me dawg
Ever since YouTube niggas been calling me the leader of the new school
Fuck with me dawg, yeah
 
No, Aubrey. This shit is NOT ill and doesn’t deserved to be restarted; it deserves to be skipped. Also, Drake calls Houston his second home even though he never lived there. My guess is that he says that because part of his rapping style rips off Houston rappers. There’s more references to money and bitches just like every other rap song that’s out there. Drake also makes a reference to his “Started From The Bottom” song. Because growing up in the suburbs of Canada and being on a TV show is the bottom (it’s not). What’s the “OVO sound?” Bitch-ass soft raps mixed with R&B and pop? Drake is showing too much love to his homeboys (sounds a little… you know… not that there’s anything wrong with that.). There’s this line “If I had a baby mama, she would probably be richer than a lot of you niggas.” Let’s see: Drake is worth $25 million. He’s suggesting that his future baby mama would take half of his money. Let’s do the math. 25 divided by 2 is 12.5, so that means his “baby mama” would have $12.5 million. That means that she would be a gold digger and Aubrey would be the ultimate simp. Anyone that calls Drake the leader of the new school is a dumb, uneducated fuck who just follows the mainstream. Having a bunch of hits and selling records doesn’t make you a leader of the new school, that just means you’re mainstream as hell. You also gotta have the best skills on the mic and as a rapper, Drake is average at best. There’s many emcees today who’ll rap circles around Drake without even trying. Basically, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit, Aubrey. Let’s move on to the next verse, this one from Officer Ricky. Let’s see if he brings anything interesting.
Your bitch all in my photographs, ho niggas got hate for me
Big homies all certified, nothing niggas gon’ take from me
Follow codes, study game, feed fam nigga fuck fame
All black my whip foreign, these bad hoes keep tiptoeing
Down in turks and caicos, dope boy that’s my dress code
All I hug is blood nigga, Khaled that’s my flesh though
All I want is love nigga, money bring that stress though
Smoke good I love life, strip club like every night
Every night my same niggas day one straight menace
Rosé
How fucking surprising. It’s the same “I’m a drug-dealing gangster, making money, fucking bitches, me and my homies are real, living a flashy lifestyle while grunting” bullshit that William Roberts has done forever. You didn’t need a fortune teller to know what Officer Ricky was gonna talk about in his verses. This nigga refuses to grow lyrically. He chooses the same topics over and over again and uses the same flow he’s always used. There’s so much fantasy rhymes here that it’s ridiculous. Fuck outta here. NEXT!!
I’m here with my niggas, I’m too hot to be friendly
They throw dirt on my name, well that’s why they still dig me
And I’m tired of all this hating, I thank God for my patience
I thank God for my homies I wish we could trade places
Bitch we good fellas, boy all them niggas with you they just
Paul bearers and if we ball catch us
Remember sip slow, live fast Young Money stay young
I been Cash Money since day one
Tunechi
 
Ehh. More lazy, uninspired, repetitive bullshit from Mr. Carter, even though for once, he’s not talking about eating pussy here. It seems like he doesn’t even try to be good anymore. Between 2004-2007, people are hyped up about a Wayne verse. Now, it’s just like “AGAIN? FUCK OUTTA HERE.” I’ve talked about Wayne more times than I wanted to on this blog, so all of my Lil Wayne rage is used up. He doesn’t even deserve my attention right now. :sigh: Enough.
DJ Khaled has to be one of the most useless, annoying people in hip-hop. What does he even do that’s important besides contribute more shitty music? He rarely raps (he rapped in a few songs and it’s horrible, believe me), he doesn’t write or produce any songs, he just gets a bunch of niggas in the studio to record a song together and he puts his name on it. Ask yourself this; are you really looking forward to a DJ Khaled album? Do you even care? NO!! Nobody cares about a DJ Khaled album at all considering that none of them has even sold gold. He does the same type of songs and collaborates with the same type of artists. None of his music is memorable; they get some spins for an entire year, depending on the success of a particular song and then are forgotten after that. The only SLIGHTLY memorable thing about his music is the hooks.
The video of the song got a lot of attention due to Drake’s choice of clothing. The nigga was wearing a black and yellow Dada outfit, looking like the missing member of Jodeci. He posted a picture on Instagram of the shoot and the internet went crazy. The picture was turned into a meme and a lot of funny pictures were made. Check out the photo below that started a meme.
Look at this. This guy’s just asking people to make fun of him.
“No New Friends” was originally supposed to be a “Started From The Bottom” remix with Wayne and Ross, but DJ Khaled showed up and took the song for himself. This is how I imagine it went down:
Drake: OK, Weezy. You’re done. Let’s hear the song now.
Wayne: YOUNG MULA, BAY-BAY!!
(plays music)
Ross: Where’s Khaled at with our food I’M A BOSS AND I’M HUNGRYYY!! (grunts)
(DJ Khaled walks in with big McDonald’s bag)
Khaled: AYO!! I GOT DA MICKY DS RIGHT HERE!! AYO, DRIZZAY!! WHAT WAS YOU JUST PLAYING RIGHT NOW?!?!
Drake: It’s the “Started From The Bottom” remix. You like it?
Khaled: LIKE IT?!?! I LOVE IT!! THAT SHIT WAS HOT!!
(Ross grabs McDonald’s bag and starts eating)
Drake: Thanks. You really think so? (tears going down his cheeks)
Khaled: YEAH!! WE JUST NEED TA ADD SUM SHIT ONTO IT TO MAKE IT HOT!!
Drake: Yeah?
Khaled: YEAH!! I GOT ANOTHA ALBUM COMING OUT SOON!! YOU MIND IF I PUT THIS AS MY FIRST SINGLE?!?!
Drake: Sure, why not. But we’ll have to rename it, though.
Khaled: Hmm… WHAT ABOUT NO NEW FRIENDS?!?!
Drake: That’s a great idea. We should definitely make stupid niggas adopt another dumb life quote like they did with YOLO. Niggas will be saying No New Friends all over social media like they said Started From The Bottom, Now We Here. It’ll be great.
Khaled: OF COURSE, IT WILL!! WE’RE MAINSTREAM ARTISTS!! WE CAN SAY AND DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT BECAUSE WE CONTROL THE MASSES!!
Ross: I think Wayne’s having another seizure. (grunts)
Drake: Dammit, Ross. You ate all of our food again.
And then they laughed maniacally, drank some Ciroc, smoked some blunts, popped Mollies, and then called in a Brazilian stripper to dance for their pleasures while they have their hands on their dicks. Anyways, another typical DJ Khaled song that’ll get some spins on the radio and the club and then will be completely forgotten by this December.
This has been Lyrical Dissection. You are dismissed.
A’ight, peace out!!
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