Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review

Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: November 2013

I decided to take another approach in talking about music outside of the Rants, Lyrical Dissections, and the Top Lists. So I’m doing a new feature at Nerd With An Afro where I look at the Billboard Hot 100 and review the Top 40 songs. This will be something I’ll be doing every month from now on. I’m only doing the Top 40 because those are the songs that gets the most spins and people are most annoyed by. I’ll go from #40-#1 in chronological order and I’ll rate each song using a 5 point system:

*****  =5 indicates that the song is damn near perfect and contains little to no flaws

****   =4 indicates that the song is good but has some problems that doesn’t make it a 5

***    =3 indicates an okay song that I wouldn’t listen to every time, but I wouldn’t bitch about it

**     =2 indicates a song that’s very weak and has very few redeeming factors

*      =1 indicates a song that’s 100% shit and has no good qualities to it

Now that you know what to expect outta this post, let’s get this bitch started.

#40. Marry Me-Jason Derulo: Huh, it’s another one of those generic love songs. Jason Derulo has no personality at all. He doesn’t have his own style, he sounds like a wannabee Usher or Chris Brown. This song is so bland and forgettable. It brings nothing new at all and serves as just a way to draw in his minuscule audience made up of easily impressed females in their teens and early 20s to buy his records. Also, his singing voice is ATROCIOUS. The nigga sounds like someone grabbed a wrench and used it to clench his balls and kept squeezing tighter and tighter. Dude has no singing talent at all. Well, I hope I never hear from this guy again. This gets a big fat 1 outta 5.

*/*****
#39. Gas Pedal-Sage The Gemini ft IamSu: I never got how this song became popular. It sounds too boring for a club song. The beat sucks and Sage The Gemini himself sounds like he’s bored; there’s no energy in his delivery and voice. When you’re doing a club song, you should at least put some energy into it. Take Waka Flocka Flame, for example. Yeah, the nigga sucks ass, but he at least sounds excited and wants to have a good time and you can hear it in his voice. Sage, on the other hand, sounds like he didn’t want to do this song, but was forced to do it. Plus, the hook is repetitive as hell and the lyrics are as basic as elementary math. IamSu, the guest feature in this song, isn’t that good, either. He sounds like Lil Wayne’s equally shitty, less talented twin brother. Look at these lyrics.
She a trick for a dollar bill
And her boyfriend a bitch call him Tyler Perry
Eugh, I’m in a black bat lookin’ scary
On my way to the cake no bake Gary
Oops bakery, never been no fake in me
Lead her to the bathroom, she askin’ where you takin’ me
Uh, tell her slow down baby
I’m too turned up it’s finna go down baby
When you hit the stage the people do a 180
When I hit the stage man the club wanna pay me
Uh, you niggas so fugazzi got a white bitch with me call that hoe slim shady uh
Nigga ‘su so crazy
Got two hoes with me make my old bitch hate me, uh
All about my payment, you say we gettin’ money that’s an understatement uh
 
You could’ve swore that Lil Wayne wrote this nigga’s lyrics. This shit is terrible. Overall, this whole song gets a big fat 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#38. Mine Would Be You-Blake Shelton: I listen to many genres of music and I never discriminate, but the only genre that I couldn’t fully listen to or get into is country music. Aside from Johnny Cash and a couple of country songs that I do like and enjoy, I was never interested in that whole genre. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize the talent of some country singers and all that and I’m pretty sure that old-school country music is better than new-school country music, just like the cases of rock and hip-hop. Maybe it’s just personal preferences. Anyways, onto this Blake Shelton song, it’s your typical country song. It’s not terrible, but you wouldn’t find me bumping this shit at all. So, because I’m not a country music fan, so I can give this an unbiased rating. I’d give it a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#37. TKO-Justin Timberlake: Here, we have a song from the second King of Pop after Michael, Justin Timberlake. TKO is the second single from JT’s “The 20/20 Experience Part 2” album. It’s fun, catchy, and features Timbaland’s signature production. Just like damn near every JT song now, TKO’s a long one (pause), clocking in at 7 minutes long. Normally, pop fans don’t have the patience to sit through a 7 minute long song, but people out there are digging it as this song is now in the Top 40. Lyrically, this song’s not impressive, but I like it, so I give it a perfect 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#36. Mirrors-Justin Timberlake: Another JT song? Nice. Anyways, Mirrors is one of the best songs of the year. It’s damn near perfect production-wise and lyrically. This is how you do a pop song correctly. If I were in charge of the mixing of the song, I’d chop out a few minutes because near the end, it does drag on a bit, being that it’s 8 minutes long, but it’s cool. Overall, like I said, one of the best songs of the year. This easily gets a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#35. Brave-Sara Bareilles: This is the song that Katy Perry have been accused of ripping off for her song, “Roar” (we’ll get to that song later). If you listen to both songs, you can notice the similarities with the production and the delivery. Because of this controversy, this song has become a Top 40 hit. So how does it hold up? Well, even though I’m not a fan of the song and Sara Bareilles, it’s 1000 times better than “Roar” and unlike Katy, Sara can actually SING. It’s not perfect and I’m not gonna continue listening to this song, but it’s okay. I give it a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#34. We Can’t Stop-Miley Cyrus: Anybody that knows me can realize I despise Miss Miley Cyrus. And you can’t blame me. Listen to this song for example. It is bad, really, REALLY bad. This is the type of song that any anti-pop person would point out for their reason why pop music is trash. This song represents everything that’s wrong with pop music. It’s lyrically dumb, it’s repetitive, the beat sucks, and there’s clearly visible uses of Auto-Tune. This song is all about Miley and her friends partying and doing whatever they want, aka being a slut. Hell, this song is the new slut anthem. This is the shit that sluts would listen to when they’re hanging out with each other and deciding on their sexual conquests. Oh, yeah. And you get to hear more of Miley’s tortuously dying cat-raping eagle singing. There’s no question about it, this gets a big fat 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#33. Sweater Weather-The Neighbourhood: I like indie music and this is no exception. This song from The Neighbourhood is great. It has a nice beat, it has a catchy chorus, I have no complaints about it. It’s one of those songs that I’ll definitely have in rotation on my playlist. So, yeah. It gets a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#32. Venus-Lady Gaga: I’m not a fan of Lady Gaga at all, I definitely think she’s one of the most overrated music artists of all time. Her new album is called ARTPOP, which means more artistic pretentiousness. This song is called “Venus,” which it should’ve been called “Uranus,” because it sucks. The production’s overly processed Euro-trash, the lyrics aren’t that good, and the melodramatic singing is annoying. Nothing else to say besides this song should’ve been sent to space, hurling towards the Sun where it’ll be destroyed forever and we never hear it again EVER. This humongous pile of space junk gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#31. Slow Down-Selena Gomez: I’ve already talked about Selena’s song “Come & Get It” in a Lyrical Dissection, so why don’t you check that out while you’re here. Anyways, this is her recent single, Slow Down. Just like “Come & Get It,” it’s just another overly-processed dance/pop song about sex (nothing new in music). Don’t believe me? Look at the lyrics.
Oh, oh
Can we take it nice and slow, slow
Break it down and drop it low, low
Cause I just wanna party all night in the neon lights ’til you can let me go
 
I just wanna feel your body right next to mine
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
And when it’s coming closer to the end hit “Rewind”
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
Do I even need to explain further? It’s like ever since Madonna shook shit up in the 80s, female pop stars have been trying to out-slut each other. Musically, image-wise, whatever. There should be a new sub-genre of pop music where this shit happens, call it slut-pop and put in the Rihannas, the Katys, the Gagas, the Ke$has, the Mileys, the Nickis, etc. Back to this song, it clearly get a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#30. It Goes Like This-Thomas Rhett: Another country song? *sigh* Well, listening to this song, it’s clear that it belongs in the country music sub-genre of pop-country (Taylor Swift is in this category as well, even though she’s about as country as city pigeons). This shit is begging to be played on radio. It’s soulless and it’s repetitive. The one positive thing I could say about it is that the production’s nice. Overall, I’m not feeling this shit. This gets a 2 outta 5.
**/*****
 
#29. The Fox-Ylvis: Another Internet meme song that became a Billboard hit. Ylvis is a comedy duo of two Norwegian brothers. This song is just like Gangnam Style, a song that blew up on YouTube, made it onto the Billboard charts (with thanks to the fact that Billboard is incorporating YouTube data into their Hot 100 chart), and has received mixed reviews from the public. The song is just a guy talking about sounds that certain animals make and wondering what sound a fox makes.
But there’s one sound that no one knows…
WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?
 
Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
WHAT THE FOX SAY?
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
WHAT THE FOX SAY?
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
WHAT THE FOX SAY?
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
WHAT THE FOX SAY?
 
Clearly, a fox doesn’t make these sounds. If anything, they sound like miniature wolves. Now, just to remind people, this is a comedy song, meaning it’s not meant to be taken seriously and it’s supposed to be a joke, just like Weird Al Yankovic or The Lonely Island. However, the joke here isn’t that funny. As a song, it’s annoying, especially that ring-ding-ding-ding part. So, the overall rating for this song, it gets a 2 outta 5.
**/*****
 
#28. Gorilla-Bruno Mars: The fourth single off of “Unorthodox Jukebox,” Bruno Mars went towards a different, more sexual direction with this song. Normally, I don’t care about sex songs, as there’s a lot of them out there and sex has been a part of music since the beginning. But when they’re done right, it sounds dope and this song, Bruno got it right. “Gorilla” sounds very 80s, maybe one of the reasons why I like the song is because I really dig very retro songs. It’s very catchy and isn’t over-bearing like other songs about sex. Although, lyrically, it’s not subtle at all. But I don’t mind it. This song gets a 4 outta 5.
****/*****
 
#27. That’s My Kind Of Night-Luke Bryan: I don’t know much about country music, but with a little research that I’ve done, I’m guessing that Luke Bryan is one of the most popular recent country singers. Basically, the Drake of country music. Anyways, from what I’ve heard, his music is typical pop-country, though it’s not entirely terrible. This song’s okay at best, but it doesn’t make me feel anything. So it gets a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#26. Sail-AWOLNATION: Here’s a funny thing: this song and the album it’s on was released in 2011; two years later, the song becomes a Top 20 hit. That’s amazing. Anywho, I like “Sail.” It’s catchy as hell, it’s fun to sing to, it sounds unique as an indie song. I have no idea what this song is about (I’ll research it later), but I don’t care. This is a cool song. I give this a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#25. Unconditionally-Katy Perry: You ever notice that Katy Perry’s recent songs sound like songs from other artists? This shit sounds like a Kelly Clarkson song with shitty singing. This proves that Katy has no originality at all and she just ran out of ideas for new songs, so she’s ripping off other people’s songs. The production sucks, it sounds like something made on Garageband by an amateur. And the lyrics are shallow as hell. So, overall, the song unconditionally sucks. It gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#24. Still Into You-Paramore: I like Paramore; Haley Williams is a dope singer and the band has some cool songs. This one, however, isn’t one of my favorites. It’s not a bad song at all, but I’m not feeling this. I know Paramore’s a pop-rock band, but this sounds too pop for me. It sounds like some Avril Lavigne shit. But, like I said, it’s not bad. I just wouldn’t skip other songs just to listen to this. Overall, this gets a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#23. Love More-Chris Brown ft Nicki Minaj: Wow. This shit is terrible. Chris Brown had better songs than this. This song is god-awful. Everything about it is terrible, the lyrics, the production, EVERYTHING. Plus, we got the queen of pop-rap trash, Nicki Minaj, coming in and making things even worse. Fuck this song. This gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#22. My Nigga-YG ft Jeezy & Rich Homie Quan: Ugh. I feel disgusted just listening to this song. Every year, just when you think rap has already hit the bottom of the shit barrel, someone releases a song that sets the bar even lower and this is the song that did that. Goddamn. This song is shit. I couldn’t even make it through 30 seconds of the song without stopping it. It’s repetitive, the rapping sucks, there’s a lot of Auto-Tune, even Jeezy couldn’t save this shit. This song is crap, this song is crap, THIS SONG IS CRAP!! Rappers, please stop making this wack bullshit. You keep making it hard for me to defend hip-hop when this bullshit is infecting the airwaves. ENOUGH ALREADY!! No question about it, this gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#21. Radioactive-Imagine Dragons: I LOVE this song. This is a complete opposite of that “My Nigga” bullshit. This song is catchy, it has a great beat, it’s the perfect song. The combination of indie-rock and dubstep makes the production sound unique. Plus, it’s just fun to sing along to, especially when the big chorus comes along.
I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I’m radioactive, radioactive
How do you NOT want to sing along to this epicness? It’s perfect. No doubt about it, this gets a perfect 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#20. Timber-Pitbull ft Ke$ha: And now we’re back to the crapper. Seeing Pitbull and Ke$ha on a song together is enough for anyone to know that this song is going to suck big-time. There’s that old phrase, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” which is completely irrelevant here because no one will be surprised by what this douchebag-slut duo puts out. This is a shitty dance-pop song that incorporates elements of country and folk, as evident by the beat. In other words, Pitbull and Ke$ha completely ripped off Avicii’s song “Wake Me Up,” which is a much better dance/country fusion song. This song contains everything that makes Pitbull and Ke$ha unlikable, only multiplied 10 times. So this gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#19. Safe and Sound-Capital Cities: It seems like as I continue on through the chart since “My Nigga,” the songs go in order of shit, good, shit, good. This song is great. I like this shit. It’s a cool indie-pop song. Just like, “Radioactive,” it’s catchy and fun to sing along to and the production is good, all of this with no annoyance and no shitty singing. Sometimes, that’s all you need for a good song and this delivered. This gets a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
#18. Summertime Sadness-Lana Del Ray & Cedric Gervais: This song is actually a remix. The original song from Lana Del Ray wasn’t a big hit until Cedric Gervais came in and remixed it with a dance beat. Lemme just say that I’m not a big Lana Del Ray fan. She is talented, but I just don’t find her music interesting. The fact that a DJ came in and remixed it tells you a lot. The song’s not terrible, but it’s not that great, either. Overall, this gets a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#17. Rap God-Eminem: God. DAMN. This shit is FIRE!! This is the best rap and hip-hop song of 2013 from a rapper not named Macklemore. This 6 minute song is Eminem doing what he does best, RAP. It’s a well-known fact that Eminem is one of the best, most technically-skilled emcees ever and this song proves it. Double timing rapping, layers and layers of bars, and rapping just as fast as Busta Rhymes and Twista. Here’s a sample of the epicness of “Rap God.”
But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen’ll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a living and a killing off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nut-sack
I’m an MC still as honest
But as rude and indecent as all hell
Syllables, killaholic (Kill ’em all with)
This slickety, gibbedy, hibbedy hip hop
You don’t really wanna get into a pissing match
With this rappidy rap
Packing a Mac in the back of the Ac
Pack backpack rap, yep, yackidy-yac
Now the exact same time I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts
While I’m practicing
And now I should be able to break a motherfuckin’ table
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic
I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs
Feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time period
Here’s a maxipad
It’s actually disastrously bad
For the wack while I’m masterfully constructing this masterpiece as
That was just one verse. Check out the rest of the song to experience the awesomeness. Sorry, Kendrick. Even though your “Control” verse is dope, every verse on “Rap God” stomps that. So, this obviously gets a perfect 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
#16. Survival-Eminem: This is the song that’s been heard on every “Call of Duty: Ghosts” commercial. This song is cool, not my favorite, though. It sounds like the sequel to “Won’t Back Down” that was on “Recovery,” there’s the hard rock beat, there’s a chick singing the chorus, and Eminem’s screaming flow that people got tired of, even though it kinda works here. It’s the perfect song to work out to because of its intensity. Not one of his best song, but it’s not one of his worst, either. This gets a 4 outta 5.
****/*****
 
#15. Berzerk-Eminem: The first single off of The Marshall Mathers LP 2, Berzerk is similar to My Name Is, The Real Slim Shady, and Without Me; all of these songs have the Slim Shady character throwing lyrical jabs at pop culture, current or dated. This song signified Slim Shady’s return. It’s very reminiscent of 80s hip-hop and the Beastie Boys (it makes sense since the track is produced by Rick Rubin, who produced the Beasties’ first album “Licensed To Ill) and it samples Billy Squier’s “The Stroke. For a first single, it’s solid despite a couple of corny lines. But I ain’t mad at it. This gets a 4 outta 5.
****/*****
 
#14. Blurred Lines-Robin Thicke ft T.I. & Pharrell: Ah, yes. One of the biggest songs of 2013. Referred to as the song of the summer by Billboard, “Blurred Lines” sat at the #1 spot on the Hot 100 for 12 weeks. The song has caused controversy because some say the lyrics are misogynistic and “rapey,” which is ridiculous because there’s nothing misogynistic or rapey about the lyrics. It’s just a fun song with a catchy chorus and a cool beat. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. T.I. had a dope verse that helps the song. So people needs to lighten up about the lyrics because there’s tons of rappers who’ve said worse things about women in their songs and they’ve gotten passes. So, this song gets a 4 outta 5.
****/*****
 
#13. 23-Mike WiLL Made It ft Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, & Juicy J:
*sigh* Fuck you, humanity. 
You can’t be fucking serious. Who approved of this shit being released and why is it a hit? This is the epitome of everything wrong with rap and pop. First off, the beat sucks; it’s another one of those simplistic trap beats that Mr. Mike WiLL is always making, but it comes with an annoying high-pitch synth that goes on throughout the whole song AND there’s those equally annoying audio signatures that Mike WiLL puts on EVERY FUCKING SONG HE PRODUCES!! Second, the rapping is atrocious; neither Wiz or Juicy J had good verses. Third, MILEY CYRUS IS RAPPING!! What the fuck is WRONG with you people?!?! You don’t let this no-talent having bitch rap AT ALL. She already help ruined pop music and now you’re letting her ruin rap too, you soulless bastards?! Who knows what other genres of music she’ll ruin next? Fuck this bitch, fuck Mike WiLL, Fuck Wiz and Juicy J, fuck all of the enablers and yes-men who allowed this cock-sucking pile of elephant shit to leave the studios and make the airwaves, fuck the industry for pushing this shit, and fuck everyone who bought this ear-raping shit. You’re ALL responsible for music being SHIT!! I hope you motherfuckers are happy now. FUCK YOU!! This crap gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#12. Let Her Go-Pasenger: Ehh… This song really isn’t anything special. It ain’t terrible, but it’s not my type of music. From what I’ve researched, Passenger started off as a full-fledged band and, now, it’s just one guy doing the whole thing. Passenger’s specialty? Indie folk music. This song is very Ed Sheeran-like. You won’t find me listening to this song at all. So I give it a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#11. Holy Grail-Jay Z ft Justin Timberlake: Ever since “Suit & Tie,” Hov and JT have collaborated a lot and this is one of their collabos. “Holy Grail” is a dope song. It has great production, JT does his thing on the track, damn near stealing the show, and Jay Z comes in correct. There’s a couple of weak lines and the unnecessary Nirvana sample (seriously, it serves no purpose to the song at all). Despite that, this is a solid song. I give this a 4 outta 5.
****/*****
 
#10. Applause-Lady Gaga: The moment I first heard this song, I fucking hated it. Even now, I still hate this song. The overly-processed production is too much and lyrically, it’s fucking stupid. It’s her celebrating her fame and loving the applause from the public. Wow. Even Kanye’s not that egotistical and he has a song called “I Am A God.” Back to Gaga, I knew she was always an attention whore and this song proved me right. This shit gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#9. Counting Stars- OneRepublic: I’m sorry, but I’m not impressed by this at all. While this song’s not terrible, it’s boring. It bores me to death. I rather watch paint dry or watch grass grow than listen to this song. I have nothing else to say about it. This gets a 2 outta 5.
**/*****
#8. Demons-Imagine Dragons: Now this is more like it. I actually like this song more than “Radioactive.” It’s an inspirational song (I’d get annoyed by these type of songs because there’s hundreds of them out there) but without sounding preachy. It’s about letting your inner demons go and just move on through the times, good or bad. The production’s nice and it fits well with the lyrics. It has a very catchy chorus just like “Radioactive.” This easily gets a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#7. Hold On, We’re Going Home-Drake ft Majid Jordan: God, this song is BORING. There’s no energy in the delivery and it’s fucking repetitive. Hell, look at the lyrics.
I got my eyes on you
You’re everything that I see
I want your hot love and emotion endlessly,
I can’t get over you
You left your mark on me
I want your hot love and emotion endlessly
 
Cause you’re a good girl and you know it
You act so different around me
Cause you’re a good girl and you know it
I know exactly who you could be
Just hold on we’re going home
Just hold on we’re going home
It’s hard to do these things alone
Just hold on we’re going home (home)
 
That’s 90% of the whole song RIGHT HERE!! Come on. That’s just lazy songwriting and the lyrics aren’t even that good; these are the most cliche “girl, I love you” lyrics ever written in pop music. Even more boring is the production, which sounds like a 80s New Wave reject. The whole song sounds like a 80s Lionel Richie knock-off. This gets a big fat 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#6. Story Of My Life-One Direction: Fuck this song and this group. 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#5. Wake Me Up-Avicii: Now THIS is how you do a dance/country fusion (are you listening Pitbull and Ke$ha?). The way this song is put together is genius. Swedish DJ Avicii teamed up with Aloe Blacc for this. At first, people were skeptical about this song and how it sounded because it didn’t sound like Avicii’s precious records. But, eventually, people warmed up to it. A great song to sing to and to dance to, “Wake Me Up” gets a 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
#4. Roar-Katy Perry: Boring, uninspired, rip-off, the words that describe this piece of crap song. It bores me to death like other songs on the charts and it rips off Sara Bareilles’ “Brave.” It’s another one of those inspirational songs which falls flat on its ass because of how preachy and obnoxious it sounds. This song has no reason to exist at all besides making a bunch of moronic teenage girls with no self-esteem feel some purpose about their lives. This gets a 1 outta 5.
*/*****
 
#3. The Monster-Eminem ft Rihanna: I’m a big Eminem fan, but I’m not a fan of this song. It’s not a bad song, but it’s not that great, either. It’s too poppy for Eminem, despite the fact that he has worked with pop artists before. This is Eminem and Rihanna’s fourth collaboration, doing “Love The Way You Lie” parts 1 and 2 and “Numb.” While both LTWYLs were cool songs, “Numb” sucked. This song, overall, is average. While Eminem did a good job with his verses and Rihanna was okay, what brings this whole song down is the production. It sounds too poppy and doesn’t fit the song well. Overall, I give this a 3 outta 5.
***/*****
 
#2. Wrecking Ball-Miley Cyrus: Goddamn it, Miley!! Why are you always showing up?!?! It’s like you exist to stress me out. You are like a fly in the room that keeps flying around and won’t hold still or land anywhere, that’s how annoying you are. *sigh* So, what can I say about this piece of shit called “Wrecking Ball?” Well, it’s boring, the production sucked, it’s lyrically dumb, and, oh, yeah, MILEY CAN’T FUCKING SING!! Seriously. My tweet below best sums up her singing.
The only reason the song became a hit is because of the video, where she’s naked on a wrecking ball (don’t know why anyone would want to see this bitch naked or think she’s attractive when she has the build of a 12 year old boy) and licks a fucking sledgehammer (ooh, shocking). This shit, just like every other Miley Cyrus song, sucks. I give it a stinking 1 outta 5.
*/*****
#1. Royals-Lorde: I’ve already done a Lyrical Dissection on this song already, so why don’t you check that out to see how I feel about this song. All I’m gonna say here is that this song has a great message, well-written lyrics, a good use of a minimalistic beat, and a catchy hook. This song deserves to be successful and go to #1 unlike some piles of shit currently on the charts. So I rate this song a well-deserved 5 outta 5.
*****/*****
 
 
 
So, those were the Top 40 songs of the Billboard Hot 100 as of November 9, 2013. You don’t have to everything with everything I say, but I just don’t give a fuck. I’ll be doing another Top 40 Review next month, plus a Year-End Albums Review and the Top 10 Worst Songs of 2013. Stay tuned, you won’t be disappointed.
Peace!!
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