Well, spring break is near and that means it’s time for me to look at the Billboard Hot 100 and review the Top 40. Let’s not bullshit around.
#40. Brave-Sara Bareilles: 000/00000
#39. Doin’ What She Likes-Blake Shelton: So here we have a country love song and this is actually pretty good. It’s not a great song, but it’s pretty decent. Blake is talking about doing anything his girl would like, but he doesn’t come off as a simp. The music fits the song perfectly. This is one of the few country songs that I actually like, but it won’t me on my playlist at all. Regardless, it’s a good song. I give it a 4 outta 5.
#38. Hold On, We’re Going Home-Drake ft Majid Jordan: 0/0000
#37. Wrecking Ball-Miley Cyrus : 0/00000
#36. This Is How We Roll-Florida Georgia Line ft Luke Bryan: I’m going to be realistic here: Florida Georgia Line sucks. They do. They’re one of the worst country acts to come out the works and this song proves it. It’s generic pop-country crap, plus, there’s a rap in it (it sucked, by the way). This song is a filthy cesspool of shit. Luke Bryan is on it and he doesn’t help the song, he actually makes it worse. This gets a 1 outta 5.
#35. Loyal-Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne & French Montana or Too $hort: It seems like every song Chris Brown releases is worse than the last. I never understood why this song is popular. It’s awful. The beat sounds like a DJ Mustard reject, Chris is rapping (horribly), the hook is annoying, and all of the rappers featured sucked, even Too $hort. There’s two versions of this song and they’re both ass. Everything wrong with mainstream rap can be summed up with this misogynistic piece of shit. This easily gets a 1 outta 5.
#34. Young Girls-Bruno Mars: 0000/00000
#33. Partition-Beyonce: This is actually one of Beyonce’s weaker songs. It’s just a mess. The hook is good and I do dig some parts of the production, but the verses aren’t that good with her doing that sing-rap flow and the beat, at times, can be annoying. Beyonce’s a very talented artist, but sometimes she doesn’t use that talent, she just sells off her sexuality; nothing wrong with that, but she’s slowing becoming another Rihanna, who ironically took her style from Bey. I don’t know, all I know is this song could have been better than this. I give it a 2 outta 5.
#32. Paranoid-Ty Dolla $ign ft B.o.B: You know? I’ve come to accept that most of mainstream rap is gonna be like half of pop music, lazily-written, shallow, and devoid of any intelligence. This song is from Ty Dolla $ign, the latest pop rapper benefiting from the West Coast ratchet movement, which spawned acts like YG, Tyga, Problem, and Kid Ink. Let’s look at the checklist: DJ Mustard production with obnoxious audio watermark and chants? Check. Shitty rapping and terrible lyrics? Check. Subject matter revolving around partying, drugs, money, and/or women? Double check. This song represents the ratchet movement perfectly. It’s obnoxious, it has no depth or focus, and Ty Dolla $ign’s voice sounds like shit. And B.o.B puts out another lackluster verse. This song gets a 1 outta 5.
#31. Radioactive-Imagine Dragons: 00000/00000
#30. Bottoms Up-Brantley Gilbert: I feel like I’m supposed to not like this song, but I really do like it. It’s about him drinking with a girl and you’d think it’d be dumb, but it’s not. It’s catchy, it has production that rocks, I dig it. I guess the mix between country and rock is what gravitates me to this song. I have to give it a 4 outta 5.
#29. Can’t Remember To Forget You-Shakira ft Rihanna: 000/00000
#28. #SELFIE-The Chainsmokers: Really? ANOTHER song with a fucking hashtag in the title? *groans* Anyways, this song had potential to be good with it’s driving beat, but what ruins it is the vocal samples. It’s just some chick complaining about some dude, other chicks, and selfies. It’s annoying. Anytime she talks, I’m just like,
This song could have been much better if it was just music. But, no. We’ve got to hear this bitch talk while the music builds and it kills the whole mood because the music is good. It gets a 2 outta 5.
#27. Turn Down For What-DJ Snake & Lil Jon: 00000/00000
#26. Animals-Martin Garrix: This is the perfect EDM song. Nice, simple beat, good build up to the drop, no singers or extra shit. Perfect music to play at a club, party, any get-together. I have no complaints about this song. I give it a perfect 5 outta 5.
#25. Roar-Katy Perry: 0/00000
#24. Magic-Coldplay: It’s been almost 2 years since we’ve got new music from Coldplay, so you know fans, myself included, we’re excited when they announced new music. This is their new single, Magic, and it’s good. It’s very different from what they made before, using a new sound, but the song retains that chill, mellow vibe that Coldplay are known for. I don’t consider this their strongest effort as I feel like they have better songs on the way, but I like it okay. I give it a 4 outta 5.
#23. Wake Me Up-Avicii: 00000/00000
#22. Demons-Imagine Dragons: 00000/00000
#21. My Nigga-YG ft Jeezy & Rich Homie Quan: 0/00000
#20. Hey Brother-Avicii: 0000/00000
#19. Burn-Ellie Goulding: 00000/00000
#18. Royals-Lorde: 00000/00000
#17. The Monster-Eminem ft Rihanna: 000/00000
#16. Best Day Of My Life-American Authors: 000/00000
#15. Show Me-Kid Ink ft Chris Brown: 0/00000
#14. Story Of My Life-One Direction: 0/00000
#13. Let Her Go-Passenger: 000/00000
#12. The Man-Aloe Blacc: 00000/00000
#11. Say Sonething-A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera: 0000/00000
#10. Timber-Pitbull ft Ke$ha: 0/00000
#9. Let It Go-Idina Menzel: 0000/00000
#8. Counting Stars-OneRepublic: 0000/00000
#7. Drunk In Love-Beyonce ft Jay Z: 000/00000
#6. Team-Lorde: 00000/00000
#5. Pompeii-Bastille: 000/00000
#4. Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo ft 2 Chainz: 0/00000
#3. All Of Me-John Legend: 00000/00000
#2. Dark Horse-Katy Perry ft Juicy J: 0/00000
#1. Happy-Pharrell Williams: 00000/00000
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of March 14, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review.