Welcome back. It’s that time again to look at the Billboard Hot 100’s Top 40 and discuss what I think of the songs on there. The charts have been pretty slow lately, meaning there’s a bunch of songs that I’ve already talked about still on here. However, there’s also some new additions. Let’s get started.
#40. Human-Christina Perri: Haven’t heard from this chick in a while. Christina Perri’s last big song was Jar Of Hearts from 2011, one of those songs that amateur singers always do covers of and sounding horribly at. Back to this song, I’m not impressed with this. It’s a very weak ballad with decent instrumentation and vocals. It’s not awful, but it’s extremely boring. It’s a self-esteem song about bettering yourself, but I’ve heard better songs do this topic better. Overall, I’d give it a 3 outta 5.
#39. Neon Lights-Demi Lovato: Remember when I said during my Year-End Album Reviews that Demi Lovato does pop-rock better than upbeat electro-pop songs? This song proves that statement. This is one of the weakest songs Demi’s ever made. The beat is electro-pop trash and she’s using Auto-Tune. Why? Her voice sounds fine without it. There’s no need for her to sound like a robot. Also, this entire song sounds too much like Nicki Minaj’s Starships, that’s not good. This doesn’t even sound like a Demi Lovato song, it sounds like something either Katy Perry or Lady Gaga would’ve made. Not the worst song on the charts (trust me, there’s worse), but I’m not feeling it. This gets a 2 outta 5.
#38. Drink To That All Night-Jerrod Niemann: So here we have another pop-country song and it represents generic modern country music well. Drinking? Check. Pick-up trucks? Check. Picking up women? Check. It seems like most of today’s country music has run out of creativity and are just copying each other, just like modern rap music is. This isn’t the worst country song (that title goes to Cruise), but it’s pretty bleh. There’s nothing more to say about it. It gets a 2 outta 5.
#37. Fancy-Iggy Azalea ft Charli XCX: My goodness, this shit is horrible. There’s nothing good here. Iggy Azalea is a female white rapper from the Land Down Under, Australia, and she sounds like a terrible Southern rapper. The beat sounds like it was made by DJ Mustard, yet he didn’t even make it. The song features that awful singer from that ear rape of a song, I Love It. What we get from here is your typical mainstream rap record, nothing new, will probably be forgotten before the year is over. This gets a 1 outta 5.
#36. Give Me Back My Hometown-Eric Church: Out of the plethora of modern country songs, this is actually a pretty good song. It has a nice beat, decent lyrics, and it’s not another dumb song about drinking, trucks, and women. It’s one of those country songs with actual substance and that’s needed. It gets a 5 outta 5.
#35. Royals-Lorde: 00000/00000
#34. Partition-Beyonce: 00/00000
#33. #SELFIE-The Chainsmokers: 00/00000
#32. The Monster-Eminem ft Rihanna: 000/00000
#31. La La La-Naughty Boy ft Sam Smith: Seeing this song, I thought it was gonna suck. But then I gave it a listen and it’s actually really good. I like the music, the lyrics about heartbreak are well-written, you can feel every word the singer belts out. We’ve all had that feeling of blocking someone out when we don’t want to hear another words from them. My only gripe with the song is that “la, la, la, la” shit that goes on near the end of the chorus. It would’ve been okay if it was used once, but it gets annoying as the song goes on. Despite that, La La La is still one of the better songs on the charts and I hope it reaches the Top 10 or even number one. It was already huge in the UK before it charted here in the US. It’s about time we caught onto to this song. I give it a 5 outta 5.
#30. Say Something-A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera: 0000/00000
#29. Demons-Imagine Dragons: 00000/00000
#28. Wake Me Up-Avicii: 00000/00000
#27. Drunk In Love-Beyonce ft Jay Z: 000/00000
#26. Ain’t It Fun-Paramore: I really dig this song. It’s one of my favorite tracks off of Paramore’s album. It’s very different from what they usually do, with a bell sound and the gospel choir. It’s catchy, the music’s great, and Hayley Williams does another spectacular job with the singing. I can’t find one problem with it. It gets a perfect 5 outta 5.
#25. Burn-Ellie Goulding: 00000/00000
#24. Let Her Go-Passenger: 000/00000
#23. Story Of My Life-One Direction: 0/00000
#22. Na Na-Trey Songz: It’s no secret that part of R&B music is just hip-hop disguised as R&B and this is a good example of that. This piece of shit has all of the elements of modern rap-influenced R&B, plus another terrible beat from DJ Mustard. It’s Trey talking to a stripper or some girl in a club, trying to take her home to do the business. He still sounds like a dying goat when he sings. I thought we were done with Trey Songz back in 2011 or something. Why is he still here? This shit gets a 1 outta 5.
#21. Animals-Martin Garrix: 00000/00000
#20. Bottoms Up-Brantley Gilbert: 0000/00000
#19. Show Me-Kid Ink ft Chris Brown: 0/00000
#18. Hey Brother-Avicii: 0000/00000
#17. Timber-Pitbull ft Ke$ha: 0/00000
#16. This Is How We Roll-Florida Georgia Line ft Luke Bryan: 0/00000
#15. Sing-Ed Sheeran: Ed Sheeran is a Grammy Award nominated singer-songwriter from the UK who’s part of the sub-genre of pop music that fellow music reviewer Todd In The Shadows called the “white guy and acoustic guitar” genre. This song is very different from his other work. It’s written and produced by Pharrell and you can easily tell. This song sounds like something from Justin Timberlake’s first album. It’s a pretty decent song; it’s catchy, has good production (look at who produced it), and it’s something I’d listen to over some of the other songs on the charts. My only complaint is that it sounds too much like a throwaway from Justified. Overall, still a good song. I think this will be a big hit. I give it a 4 outta 5.
#14. Play It Again-Luke Bryan: This is a pretty average country song. Here, Luke Bryan is talking about a girl and it’s everything you expect from a song like this. The music is pretty decent and he tells a decent story, but it really doesn’t do anything for me. I give it a 3 outta 5.
#13. Best Day Of My Life-American Authors: 000/00000
#12. Not A Bad Thing-Justin Timberlake: This is one of the best songs off of JT’s second 20/20 Experience album. It’s also one of the best pop songs in recent years. It’s romantic and it has some of the best production of ANY song. It’s very reminiscent of the 90s. The lyrics aren’t the best, but pretty good. This is a song that deserves to be a hit and I’m glad it is right now. The final track off of the 20/20 Experience 2 is also the best. It gets a well-deserved 5 outta 5.
#11. Loyal-Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne & French Montana, Too $hort, or Tyga (yeah, there’s another version of this piece of shit with a Tyga verse and, unsurprisingly, that one also sucks): 0/00000
#10. Counting Stars-OneRepublic: 0000/00000
#9. The Man-Aloe Blacc: 00000/00000
#8. Turn Down For What-DJ Snake & Lil Jon: 00000/00000
#7. Team-Lorde: 00000/00000
#6. Pompeii-Bastille: 0000/00000
#5. Let It Go-Idina Menzel: 00000/00000
#4. Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo ft 2 Chainz: 0/00000
#3. Dark Horse-Katy Perry ft Juicy J: 0/00000
#2. All Of Me-John Legend: 00000/00000
#1. Happy-Pharrell Williams: 00000/00000
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of April 19, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review.