Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I look at the Top 40 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and give you my opinions on them. I hope everyone stays cool in the summer (for those of you in the southern hemisphere, I hope you stay warm in the winter). Let’s not bullshit any more and start this.
#40. Believe Me-Lil Wayne ft Drake: 00/00000
#39. Play It Again-Luke Bryan: 000/00000
#38. Come With Me Now-KONGOS: 00000/00000
#37. Birthday-Katy Perry: 0/00000
#36. 2 On-Tinashe ft ScHoolboy Q: I just do not care about this pop/R&B crap. It’s just another turn-up song (a badly-written one, by the way), talking about going to a club and getting fucked up (like we haven’t had enough of those type of songs). Tinashe is not a good singer and ScHoolboy Q does nothing to help this song. Another thing, the beat is bland and lacks energy, you can thank DJ Mustard for that. There’s not much to say. Tinashe sucks, DJ Mustard sucks, this whole song sucks. It gets a 1 outta 5.
#35. Let It Go-Idina Menzel: 00000/00000
#34. Pills N Potions-Nicki Minaj: Nicki Minaj is back………. yeah, I don’t care, either. So Nicki earlier this year threw away the ridiculous outfits, colorful wigs, and overall over-the-topness for a more natural look, which she says will reflect the music on her next studio album, The Pink Print.
If this song is a preview of the upcoming album, then I’m staying away from it. This song is BORING. This shit could cure insomnia. The beat is lifeless, Nicki’s a weak singer, the hook is repetitive, and there’s too many inconsistencies in the lyrics. It’s like Nicki doesn’t even know what she wants the song to be about. I can’t even give this a 1 outta 5 if I wanted to because she actually put some effort into her rhymes, even if they are a mess and don’t have focus and direction. But still, I get nothing out of this at all. If you want a good review of this song, go check out Rap Critic’s review of it, he pretty much says what I feel about it. Overall, this song is not that good at all. It ain’t Stupid Hoe or Starships bad, but it’s still bad. It’s a 2 outta 5.
#33. Drunk On A Plane-Dierks Bentley: It seems like a lot of the new songs on the charts have left no impact on me, this song included. This just another country song about drinking, specifically, on a plane. I hope you’re getting drunk on a private plane because I don’t think commercial planes would let that happen. There’s not much to say about this song. It’s just meh. I give it a 2 outta 5.
#32. Me And My Broken Heart-Rixton: 0/00000
#31. Shower-Becky G: Wow, this song is bad. I haven’t tuned in to Radio Disney in a long time (hell, I barely listen to the radio now), but I’d imagine this song would get constant spins there cause it sounds like the perfect song for that station. This song is the perfect example of bland teen-pop. Everything about this song is bland; the beat, the lyrics, the hook, the concept, the singer, everything. It gives me nothing to work with, but then I started thinking about it: this is not a song for my age group. This is obviously made for the 17 and under crowd. They have to have their music as much as everyone else does. But still, they deserve better than this. This gets a 1 outta 5.
#30. Pompeii-Bastille: 0000/00000
#29. Counting Stars-OneRepublic: 0000/00000
#28. American Kids-Kenny Chesney: Even with my limited knowledge of country music, one of the big names in country music that I know about is Kenny Chesney. This is his most recent song and it’s good. It’s well-produced and it’s just about partying. This song is just summer fun. I have no problems with fun songs as long as they put me in a good mood and don’t insult my intelligence. It’s not the best song of the year, but it’s good enough. It gets a 4 outta 5.
#27. Beachin’-Jake Owen: 000/00000
#26. Not A Bad Thing-Justin Timberlake: 00000/00000
#25. Baliando-Enrique Iglesias ft Sean Paul, Desemer Bueno, & Gente de Zona: I once said that there were a few genres of music that I couldn’t get into like country music. Well, I also can’t get into foreign music, Latin especially. Because I’m not that fluent to different languages, a song that’s not in English would not interest me (though there are a few exceptions). Fortunately, some foreign artists have songs in English, including this song. It has a Spanish version, which I won’t bother listening to. So how is this song? It’s alright. Not great, but alright. I’m not a big fan of Enrique Iglesias, but he’s tolerable here. The beat is fun and danceable. This is a perfect song to add to your party playlist of you want a little Latin flavor. I have one question about this, though; what the fuck is Sean Paul doing here? Seriously. He was the most unnecessary part of this song. Does anyone even understand what the hell Sean Paul is saying at all? I digress. This is an okay, fun Latin song. It gets a 4 outta 5.
#24. Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo ft 2 Chainz: 0/00000
#23. Sing-Ed Sheeran: 0000/00000
#22. Loyal-Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne, French Montana, Too $hort, & Tyga: 0/00000
#21. Na Na-Trey Songz: 0/00000
#20. Boom Clap-Charli XCX: This bitch again? Goddamn. I feel like certain people exist solely to just torture me. Charli XCX is nothing more than a Gwen Stefani knockoff with irritating vocals. The only thing decent about this song is the beat, which is wasted with this shit. This song is basically Charli riding off the success of Fancy and it’s also on the soundtrack of the movie Fault In Our Stars (I haven’t seen it, though I’ve heard good things about it). Not much to say about this song besides it sounding like a rejected Gwen Stefani song. It’s a 1 outta 5.
#19. Love Runs Out-OneRepublic: 0000/00000
#18. Ain’t It Fun-Paramore: 00000/00000
#17. Chandelier-Sia: 0000/00000
#16. Amnesia-5 Seconds Of Summer: Go back to my previous Top 40 Review to see my opinion about this group. Long story short, I don’t care. I’m not giving these guys any more attention than they need. This song gets no rating.
#15. Break Free-Ariana Grande ft Zedd: While Problem isn’t a bad song, it didn’t do anything for me. This song, however, is an improvement. I like the beat (courtesy of Zedd), Ariana’s vocals are stronger here than in Problem. The best thing about this song is that she doesn’t sound like Mariah at all here, which I think is a step towards the right direction for growing as an artist. The song is a bit repetitive, but I don’t mind it here. To be honest, looking at the tracklist for her upcoming album and seeing the number of features, I don’t know if I really want to look forward to it, but I’ll check it out regardless. Anyways, this song gets a 5 outta 5.
#14. Classic-MTKO: 000/00000
#13. Dark Horse-Katy Perry ft Juicy J: 0/00000
#12. Happy-Pharrell Williams: 00000/00000
#11. Latch-Disclosure ft Sam Smith: 0000/00000
#10. Turn Down For What-DJ Snake & Lil Jon: 00000/00000
#9. Maps-Maroon 5: Maroon 5 have really disappointed me as a fan. They became a total sellout with their last album, which was basically a solo Adam Levine album. So now they’re working on a new album and this is the first single. How is it? It’s not their best song and it’s not their worst song, it’s just okay. This is obviously something made for radio airplay, but it’s more tolerable than their previous singles. The production’s decent and the hook is catchy. I won’t be listening to this song multiple times, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it until it suffers from overplay. I give it a 3 outta 5.
#8. All Of Me-John Legend: 00000/00000
#7. Summer-Calvin Harris: 00000/00000
#6. Wiggle-Jason Derulo ft Snoop Dogg: 0/00000
#5. Stay With Me-Sam Smith: 00000/00000
#4. Am I Wrong-Nico & Vinz: 00000/00000
#3. Problem-Ariana Grande ft Iggy Azalea: 000/00000
#2. Rude-MAGIC!: (second thought) I think I might have jumped the gun on this song. After listening to this song multiple times and thinking about it, I start liking this song less. I still think the production is nice and the summer vibe is there, but the song’s biggest problem is the lyrics and the whole concept. It’s about a guy asking his girl’s dad’s permission to marry her. The dad says no and the guy asks why he’s so rude and says he’ll marry her anyway. Here’s the thing, why are you asking for the dad’s permission to marry her? If you love each other and want to get married, then do it. You’re both adults (I hope you’re adults), you can do whatever you want. Another thing, the guy does this two more times and he gets the same answer from the dad, no. This wouldn’t be a problem if there are details about the dilemma, but there isn’t. We don’t know anything about the guy, the dad, the girl, anything. We don’t even know the conclusion of this story. This song overall suffers from lazy songwriting. Did ANYONE even give these lyrics a second look? Anyways, while the song isn’t bad, it’s still problematic. It gets a 3 outta 5.
#1. Fancy-Iggy Azalea ft Charli XCX: 0/00000
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of July 12, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, an all new Target Practice on Beyonce’s worst song ever.