Target Practice

Target Practice: Charli XCX “Boom Clap”

Target Practice

Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. 2014 has seen hits from a lot of new faces. From MAGIC! to Nico & Vinz to Sam Smith to Disclosure, etc. Some were good, others were meh, and others I fucking can’t stand. Charli XCX is the latter. She’s a British singer who has appeared in songs for artists like Icona Pop and Iggy Azaela. In other words, she contributes nothing but crap. Originally, I didn’t know who she was or what she sounded like. On I Love It, she was barely noticeable because all of the vocals on that song sounded the same and were really loud. Then I heard Fancy. How do I describe Charli’s vocals? Imagine a combination of  two rusty drills being jabbed into both of your ears and a kindergartner in a talent show doing a cover of a Gwen Stefani song all off-key. That combination would sound less irritating, less annoying, and less painful than what I heard on that godawful song. My God, I wish I never heard that. The shouting was already bad, but adding vocal effects just made it worse. Anyways, today’s Target Practice is Charli XCX’s first big solo hit, Boom Clap.

Boom Boom Boom Clap

Thank you for that completely pointless intro letting us know the title of this song. We would’ve never figured it out for ourselves.

You’re picture perfect blue
Sunbathing on the moon
Stars shining as your bones illuminate

Sunbathing on the moon? Are you in space? I’m pretty sure you can’t sunbathe on the moon at all. Your astronaut suit would get in the way and if you’re not wearing one, then you’d be dead. Wait. She said that someone is picture perfect blue. Is this guy you’re talking about dead? If he is, then eww, necrophile. And the fact that she’s talking about the guy’s bones after that doesn’t help. People are weird.

First kiss just like a drug
Under your influence
You take me over you’re the magic in my veins
This must be love

Wait, now you’re talking about getting high? A second ago, you were talking to a dead body and now you’re on drugs. Maybe she’s stoned out of her mind and is just hallucinating. That would be a good song concept. Getting high and start tripping, seeing things that aren’t really there. Let’s see how this works out.

Boom Clap
The sound of my heart
The beat goes on and on and on and on and
Boom Clap
You make me feel good
Come on to me come on to me now
Boom Clap
The sound of my heart
The beat goes on and on and on and on and
Boom Clap
You make me feel good
Come on to me come on to me now

Charli is so high that she can hear her heartbeat. What kinda drugs is she doing? And she’s going for more. Next thing you know, she’ll think she’s in some other world with dragons and unicorns while in the real world, someone walks in to see her unconscious, foaming at the mouth with a needle stuck in her vein.

No silver or no gold
Could dress me up so good
You’re the glitter in the darkness of my world
Just tell me what to do
I’ll fall right into you
Going under cast a spell just say the word
I feel your love

Basically, she’s still high and is seeing a wizard. I think you need to talk to your dealer because he probably gave you the wrong shit. Hell, it might have been laced with PCP or are you taking PCP?

You are the light and I will follow
You let me lose my shadow
You are the sun the glowing halo
And you keep burning me up with all of your love

I got nothing. She might be ODing here, but I don’t know. Fuck it.

This song is an LSD trip to nonsense. If there ever was a definition of a hot mess, this is the prefect example of that. One good I’ll say about the song is that the beat is decent, too bad it’s wasted here. The lyrics try to be poetic when they’re just pretentious and shallow, the chorus is repetitive, and Charli’s vocals are irritating. When she’s not poorly trying to do a Gwen Stefani impersonation, she sounds like that bratty little girl that annoys the shit out of everyone. Plus, the concept (whatever it is) is badly executed. I was just guessing what this is about since I have no clue. Maybe someone else interpreted this a different way. Regardless, I don’t care. I just hope I’ll never hear this crap and Charli XCX again. Then again, that’s just wishful hoping and that always get crushed. I apologize for this being short, but I just got nothing else to say about this song. It’s just that bland. Next Target Practice, Maroon 5 gets the reality check they deserve.


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