Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review

Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: August 2014

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Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where we look at the 40 most popular songs in the country and I either praise or criticize them. Let’s get started.

#40. Habits (Stay High)-Tove Lo: This song is alright. Not the best, but alright. The production’s decent and the lyrics are fine. The song talks about living the fast life after a break-up and it does depict that life more realistically than other songs that make it look cool and there’s actually a reason behind it all outside of having lots of money. It’s actually really depressing if you think about it, the lyrics and the whole atmosphere, everything. This isn’t anything I’ll listen to again because there are songs that did this topic better and I don’t think this song will have a long chart life (don’t misquote me on this). I give this a 4 outta 5.

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#39. Pompeii-Bastille0000/00000

#38. Studio-ScHoolboy Q ft BJ The Chicago Kid: It’s always good to see a good rap song on the charts, especially one not produced by DJ Mustard. Thank goodness because I’m tired of talking about that asshole. Onto this song, this is not only one of the better songs in the Top 40 right now, but it’s one of the best songs off of ScHoolboy’s album, Oxymoron (while that album wasn’t great, it’s one of the few good rap albums of the year alongside Pinata, These Days, and Nobody’s Smiling; seriously go check out those albums). The beat is good, the hook is laced by BJ The Chicago Kid (who has one of the weirdest names ever), and ScHoolboy’s performance was competent. A lot of sexually explicit lines, but I’ll give most of them a pass due to Q’s flow. It’s not the cliche love rap song you hear on the radio (most of the time), it’s a guy in the studio wanting to finish recording his song so he can get to his girl back home. More songs like this should be made in hip-hop and this shows why TDE is one of the best in the game (speaking of TDE, what the hell is going on with Kendrick Lamar’s upcoming album?). This gets a 5 outta 5.

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#37. Believe Me-Lil Wayne ft Drake00/00000

#36. A Sky Full Of Stars-Coldplay0000/00000

#35. Counting Stars-OneRepublic0000/00000

#34. Loyal-Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne, French Montana, Too $hort, & Tyga0/00000

#33. I Don’t Dance-Lee Brice: Wow. This song is boring. I’m not saying all slow songs are boring; that’s far from the truth as slow songs can be interesting if done right. But nothing in this song stands out or makes me want to hear more. The production is uninspired, the lyrics are uninspired, and the performance was uninspired. This whole song is uninspiring. It gets a 1 outta 5.

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#32. Bartender-Lady Antebellum: My ignorance to country music is well-known here on this site, but I always make an effort to learn more. Onto to this song, it’s alright. It’s a decent song about being at the bar. The production is typical modern country and the singers of Lady Antebellum do the song well. I won’t be listening to this over and over again, but I know it could’ve been much worse. This gets a 3 outta 5.

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#31.Really Don’t Care-Demi Lovato ft Cher Lloyd: You have disappointed me, Demi. You have disappointed me. I get that she’s allowed to do whatever she wants as an artist and that no one has the right to tell her what kind of songs she should do, but come on. This is crap. The production’s generic, the writing’s a joke, and the hook is annoying. Speaking of annoying, Cher Lloyd is on this song. Because that’s what this song needs, a little British brat with the most irritatingly ear-splitting voice ever. Don’t worry. We’ll get the full story on this bitch in a future Target Practice. Fuck this shit. It gets a 1 outta 5.

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#30. Don’t Tell ‘Em-Jeremih ft YG: You again, DJ Mustard? Goddamn. You just couldn’t stop making the same song over again, can’t you? Seriously, listen to the other songs Mustard produced and tell me they don’t sound the same. Can these rappers please work with another producer (one whose beats don’t sound the same) because this shit got old REAL quick. Anyways, if you couldn’t tell, this song sucks. Why? Look at my reviews of My Nigga, Show Me, Paranoid, Na Na, 2 On, etc. Aside from having all the cliches of a Mustard-produced song, the lyrics suck, the singing sucks, the hook sucks, the guest feature, YG, sucks, this whole song sucks, period. Just like any so-called modern “R&B” song, this is not an R&B song, this is a hip-hop song disguised as an R&B song. Jeremih (haven’t heard that name in a long time) doesn’t do anything to stand out. It’s so generic that you could’ve gave this song to any other artist and you would’ve got the same results, SHIT. This easily gets a 1 outta 5.

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#29. Classic-MTKO000/00000

#28. Drunk On A Plane-Dierks Bentley00/00000

#27. American Kids-Kenny Chesney0000/00000

#26. 2 On-Tinashe ft ScHoolboy Q0/00000

#25. Turn Down For What-DJ Snake & Lil Jon00000/00000

#24. Dirt-Florida Georgia Line: Ladies and gentlemen, a song title that perfectly describes the song itself. On a serious note, Dirt is basically the same song as their other song like Cruise and This Is How We Roll, only slower. While this song is better than those other songs I named, it’s still not a good song. It has all the typical pop-country crap we got previously; women, pick-up trucks, alcohol, and other things associated with stereotypical country music. Like I said, this song is an improvement over previous songs, but it’s still crap. This gets a 2 outta 5.

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#23. Dark Horse-Katy Perry ft Juicy J0/00000

#22. Burnin’ It Down-Jason Aldean: Meh, this song is whatever. One thing I’ll say about it is that it has a different production style from other country songs. It’s like a hip-hop/country fusion. Not great, but it could’ve been worse (Cruise, anyone?). Lyrically, it’s another sex song. It does nothing new. Jason’s performance was competent enough. I don’t have a lot to say about this song because it’s just average. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just average. I give it a 3 outta 5.

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#21. Wiggle-Jason Derulo ft Snoop Dogg0/00000

#20. Love Runs Out-OneRepublic0000/00000

#19. Black Widow-Iggy Azalea ft Bootleg Beyonce (aka Rita Ora): Before I talk about this song, I want to talk about Iggy Azalea’s album. I hate the title of it because it’s very inaccurate. Instead of calling it The New Classic, I’m calling it The Not Classic. This album is just average at best, it’s the furthest thing from classic. Some songs were okay, others were shit, and others were just filler. Now to this song. While it’s better than Fancy, it’s still crap. It sounds like a rejected Rihanna song that was gonna feature Nicki Minaj. The beat sucks, Iggy’s verses aren’t that good, and we also have a forgettable hook and performance from Bootleg Beyonce herself (yes, I refuse to call her Rita Ora because she has no personality or style of her own; I will call her either Bootleg Beyonce or Poor Man’s Rihanna). This whole song is forgettable and I’m amazed that it’s in the Top 20. This get a 1 outta 5.

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#18. Break Free-Ariana Grande ft Zedd00000/00000

#17. Shower-Becky G0/00000

#16. Rather Be-Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne: I like this. I really do. I like the combination of classical and house music. It’s well-produced and all of the performers do well. This song actually reminds me of Get Lucky, another great modern song with a retro sound. While Get Lucky’s sound was 70s disco, Rather Be is 90s house (the good 90s house). This song could easily be considered one of the best songs of 2014 and it has achieve a lot of success around the world, being certified platinum in six different countries. Here in the States, we’re just catching on to this song and I hope it becomes a success here. It gets a perfect 5 outta 5.

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#15. Happy-Pharrell Williams00000/00000

#14. Summer-Calvin Harris00000/00000

#13. Baliando-Enrique Iglesias ft Descemer Bueno & Gente de Zona0000/00000

#12. All Of Me-John Legend00000/00000

#11. Boom Clap-Charli XCX0/00000

#10. Latch-Disclosure ft Sam Smith0000/00000

#9. Chandelier-Sia0000/00000

#8. All About That Bass-Meghan Trainor: I really don’t know how I feel about this song as a whole because there’s both positive and negative things to say about it. Let me start with the good stuff; the production is very different from other songs on the charts. It sounds like it was inspired by those doo-wop songs from the 60s, especially with the fact that it uses a double bass instead of a synth bass like other pop songs out there. I like the message it conveys to women about being proud of your body size and embrace your curves. Our society is always torturing women about their body shapes and it’s always great to hear a song that challenges their standards of beauty. Now to the bad, which is the only bad thing about it, bashing the skinny girls. Why? I thought this song was suppose to empower women, not bring them down. You criticize those who bash plus-size women, but by bashing skinny women, you’re no better than them. You’re both being judgmental jackasses shaming each other for their looks. Maybe if this song was rewritten in some parts, it could’ve better, but the skinny bashing is like a bad apple ruining the whole bunch. But I’m sure Meghan Trainor had good intentions with this song, so I’ll give this a 4 outta 5.

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#7. Maps-Maroon 5000/00000

#6. Bang Bang-Jessie J, Ariana Grande, & Nicki Minaj:

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………………… You know? I don’t know if I said this or not, but I’ve come to accept that mediocrity is continuously praised and accepted in our society. The evidence is in our entertainment and media. WorldStarHipHop, a website that does nothing but promote negative stereotypes of African Americans and other races, continues to be one of the most popular websites now. Michael Bay is still swimming in a pool of money after raping a beloved 80s franchise and will continue doing so with another. The Kardashians have overstayed their welcome (not like they were welcomed in the first place) and continue finding new ways to make a profit without any form of class, dignity, or even talent. Shows like Love & Hip-Hop are still on the air. People become overnight celebrities for just being morons. Our news stations aren’t even reporting news that much and are just reporting pointless crap that TMZ and the E! network jizz in their pants over. And don’t even get me started on the music industry, where it’s less about talent and more about what you look like or who you know. It seems like everyone bows to the almighty dollar. The Wu-Tang Clan knew it all along; cash rules everything around us. I’m going to stop ranting and get to the point; I really, really, REALLY hate this song. I hate this song as much as I hate Stupid Hoe, We Can’t Stop, and anything produced by DJ Mustard; I hate it that much. I hate everything about the song, from the production to the lyrics to the hook to the performances. Everything in this song is loud and messy. Plus, there is no chemistry between these three, it feels like this song was manufactured by the labels who decided to put three female pop singers into one song to manipulate their dedicated fanbases together to buy this shit. Listening to this song is not an organic experience since it was only made for profit and not love and that is depressing. Overall, this is a piece of shit and it’s already promised a spot on my Worst Songs of 2014 list, I guarantee you that. It gets a 1 outta 5.

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#5. Problem-Ariana Grande ft Iggy Azalea000/00000

#4. Am I Wrong-Nico & Vinz00000/00000

#3. Fancy-Iggy Azalea ft Charli XCX0/00000

#2. Stay With Me-Sam Smith00000/00000

#1. Rude-MAGIC!000/00000

So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of August 9, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, Maroon 5 is the new subject of a Target Practice.

Peace!!

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