Target Practice

Target Practice: Jason Aldean “Burnin’ It Down”

Target Practice

Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Bro-country has become the dominant sub-genre of country music right now and it’s sickening. It’s basically the redneck version of hip-hop’s trap music, a bunch of hicks singing about parties, alcohol, women, and trucks, basically all of the stereotypes of country mixed into a blender. It’s the perfect music for suburban white boys in fraternities. This sub-genre also embraces a processed, more poppier sound, messing with pop and rap influences to the point where the production sounds nothing like country. A lot of these bro-country songs suck, they just do. Examples of these songs include Luke Bryan’s That My Kind Of Night, Blake Shelton’s Boys ‘Round Here, and the magnum opus of the genre, Florida Georgia Line’s Cruise. Clearly country music is in good hands. The latest addition to the bro-country portfolio is also today’s Target Practice, from Jason Aldean, Burnin’ It Down.

You slip your finger through the tear in my t-shirt
You stirrin’ up dirty in the back of my mind
You keep on flirtin’ cause you know that it’s workin’

You’re definitely thinking of slipping your dick into her tear, am I right, Jason, you horny dog?

You stuck in my head girl writing the lines
Couldn’t sing this song without you if I tried
Let’s light it up like it’s our last night

I find these lines funny because they sound like something from a boy band song. The amount of sappiness is enough to make Drake look less like a simp.

We’re just hanging around
Burnin’ it down
Sippin’ on some cold Jack Daniel’s
Jammin’ to some old Alabama with you, baby
Laying right here naked in my bed
I’m just doing my thing
You love it when I sing
Say it makes you feel like an angel
We about to get a little tangled up right about now
So girl let’s keep burnin’ it down
Burnin’ it down
Burnin’ it down

God, this chorus is bad. I’m actually convinced that this was written for a boy band or a soft rock singer to perform, but then they passed on it and it got around in Nashville and ended up with Jason Aldean. That’s the only logical reasoning for this shit. And burnin’ it down is not a good phrase to use for sex because it makes people think of something else when it’s said. To me, burnin’ it down sounds like you’re about to give this chick an STD.

Girl when you want it, you know that I’m on it
You know that I love lovin’ up on you
Let’s hit the switch and let our shadows dance
And light it up like it’s our last chance

Why don’t you insert other cliched love/sex song lyrics while you’re at it? Surely, you got more.

We’re just hanging around
Burnin’ it down
Sippin’ on some cold Jack Daniel’s
Jammin’ to some old Alabama with you, baby
Laying right here dreaming in my bed
I’m just doing my thing
You love it when I sing
Say it makes you feel like an angel
We about to get a little tangled up right about now
So girl let’s keep burnin’ it down
Burnin’ it down
Burnin’ it down
Burnin’ it down

You know? For a song about getting it on, it does not elicit any sensual or seductive tones. It just comes off as just another horny douchebag wanting some pussy desperately.

I wanna rock it all night
Baby girl, will you rock it out with me?
I wanna crawl through the dark
Just to feel your heartbeat against me

A PSA to all men everywhere, if you play this song while trying to seduce your woman, this is what the inside of her vagina will look like.

This song is an unsexy, burned out pile of rubbish. Nothing in this song works. The production is dreary, and weak, the lyrics are full of tired cliches from other love/sex songs, and Aldean’s voice is irritating, sounding like a redneck Kermit The Frog, and the whole vibe of this record is very off-putting and unpalatable. If you’re gonna make a love making jam, at least set the mood right. Listen to this song and tell me if it sets any mood that isn’t pure disgust. And to think that this is number one song on the country charts. Come on, country music. You can do better than this crap. I know you can. Next Target Practice, 2CHAAAAAIIIIINZ!!

Peace!!

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