Welcome back to another Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review. I can’t believe I’ve actually wrote 12 of these babies. An entire year of Top 40 Reviews. That is amazing. I started doing these reviews because I wanted to try something different for the site and I enjoy doing these. Here’s to another year of Top 40 Reviews. Let’s get started.
#40. Day Drinking-Little Big Town: Ehh, I’m not feeling this. The song is not terrible, but it’s just not doing anything for me. It’s your typical country party song and it’s really bland. I don’t really have anything to say about it. I give it a 3 outta 5.
#39. Maps-Maroon 5: 0/00000
#38. Leave The Night On-Sam Hunt: This song is actually okay. It does sound like a lot of other bro-country songs, but it doesn’t sound douchey, which is good. The guy is a good singer and songwriter as the lyrics are much better written than some of his contemporaries. The production is typical modern country, nothing new, but it’s good enough. I give this a 4 outta 5.
#37. Boom Clap-Charli XCX: 0/00000
#36. Am I Wrong-Nico & Vinz: 00000/00000
#35. Burnin’ It Down-Jason Aldean: 0/00000
#34. All Of Me-John Legend: 00000/00000
#33. Anaconda-Nicki Minaj: 0/00000
#32. Steal My Girl-One Direction: 0/00000
#31. Break Free-Ariana Grande ft Zedd: 00000/00000
#30. Centuries-Fall Out Boy: I’m gonna go ahead and say it, this song is fucking awesome. This is the only song on the Hot 100 right now that actually rocks. The production knocks, the chorus is catchy, it’s just awesomeness in under four minutes. It gets a 5 outta 5.
#29. New Flame-Chris Brown ft Usher & Rick Ross: 0/00000
#28. Something In The Water-Carrie Underwood: 00000/00000
#27. Rude-MAGIC!: 000/00000
#26. Tuesday-ILOVEMAKONNEN ft Drake: So this guy is the latest artist Drake signed to his label and… this has to be a joke. I want to talk about this dude’s name first before I get to the song itself. ILOVEMAKONNEN. How uninspired do you have to be to come up with a rap name like this? Where did that come from? How many rappers have names that are either a short sentence (i.e. Soulja Boy Tell Em) or nonsensical gibberish (i.e. Rae Sremmurd)? Speaking of nonsensical gibberish, that is exactly what this song is. It’s horrible. The beat is weak as all hell, the chorus and lyrics are dumb and repetitive (seriously, what lame bum goes to a club on a Tuesday?), and his flow sounds like Chief Keef after a visit to the dentist. Drake isn’t doing any better, either. He does his worst impersonation of ILOVEMAKONNEN’s flow and does his off-key singing again. This only further solidifies Aubrey as the world’s biggest dickrider, hopping on whatever trend is hot at the moment and make it about himself. Asshole. This gets a 1 outta 5.
#25. The Heart Wants What It Wants-Selena Gomez: You cannot be serious. This song actually started off strong with production that was very moody and atmospheric, but then the moment Selena starts singing, it was all downhill from there. This is another song about her missing some guy. Who the hell cares? This also has one of the worst hooks ever. Whoever’s involved in writing this needs to be fired immediately. And also, the effects put on her voice does not help this. Outside of the production, which I though was okay, this song does not work. It gets a 2 outta 5.
#24. Cool Kids-Echosmith: 00/00000
#23. Jealous-Joe Jonas: 0/00000
#22. Waves-Mr. Probz: 00000/00000
#21. No Type-Rae Sremmurd: At this point, I’m not surprised by the shit that makes the charts anymore and how high they peak. So, yeah. We got ourselves another song from Rae Sremmurd, whose name I still have a hard time trying to pronounce. This is basically the same song as No Flex Zone, only this time, it’s about women. The hook is your typical repetitive trap hook where they say they have no type of women they prefer, yet in the next line, they say “bad bitches is all they like.” Wouldn’t that be having a type? These idiots contradicted themselves before any verses start. That is a new level of stupid. The rapping is horrendously awful (shocker) made worse by their flow and lyrics and the beat is trash as it was made by dick-face Mike WiLL Made-It (another shocker). Another thing, for a club song, the beat is WAY too slow. A club song can only work if the beat is uptempo and exciting, which is the exact opposite of this sludgy, dreary mess. I hope I never hear this or anything else from Rae Sremmurd ever again. This crap gets a 1 outta 5.
#20. Blame-Calvin Harris ft John Newman: 0000/00000
#19. Chandelier-Sia: 0000/00000
#18. Rather Be-Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne: 00000/00000
#17. Lifestyle-Rich Gang ft Young Thug & Rich Homie Quan: 0/00000
#16. Stay With Me-Sam Smith: 00000/00000
#15. I Don’t Fuck With You-Big Sean ft E40: Big Sean has to be one of the most inconsistent rappers ever. The guy is capable of crafting good raps, but he continues making a lot of dumb shit like A$$ and this song, called I Don’t Fuck With You. So, yeah. This song is fucking terrible. It was produced by both Kanye Kardashian and DJ Mustard and you can easily tell who did what (Kanye did the samples and Mustard did the rest). Their production styles do not mix together well, it just sounds like two different songs combined into one, resulting in this messy production. Big Sean was irritatingly wack on this, yelling more than Meek Mill and talking shit about his ex-girlfriend. There is so much bitterness from his lyrics that it’s hard to side with him. E40 is wasted here. His verse was enjoyable, but it does nothing to save the song. Overall, this song gets a 1 outta 5.
#14. Trumpets-Jason Derulo: 0/00000
#13. Blank Space-Taylor Swift: Anyone who follows me already know about my feelings for Miss Taylor Swift, so I’m just gonna skip to the chase. This song sucks (waits for outraged Taylor Swift fans). She’s talking about another guy AGAIN in all of her shallow ways. She’s also ripping off Lorde with this song, but without all of things that makes Lorde cool and respectable. The production is also weak as all hell, it doesn’t pack any real punch that helps the song. Overall, this song is boring and blech. It doesn’t bring anything new or creative, it’s just another Taylor Swift song and I don’t want to hear this again. This gets a 1 outta 5.
#12. Don’t-Ed Sheeran: 0000/00000
#11. I’m Not The Only One-Sam Smith: Sam Smith comes right with another solid track. This song has a lot of soul injected into it and Sam does another great job vocally. He’s definitely one of those new guys putting out quality material and I hope this makes the Top 10. Nothing else needs to be said about this. It gets a 5 outta 5.
#10. Don’t Tell ‘Em-Jeremih ft YG: 0/00000
#9. Black Widow-Iggy Azalea ft Bootleg Beyonce AKA Poor Man’s Rihanna AKA Rita Ora: 0/00000
#8. Take Me To Church-Hozier: This song is definitely one of the biggest surprises on the charts right now. Normally, religion-themed songs don’t make the charts, but for some reason, this song is now in the Top 10. So what do I think of this song? I like it yet I don’t fully understand what it’s about. Looking at these lyrics, it could have a different meaning to different people. My guess is that it’s comparing love to religion. Either way, the lyrics are well-written and I like the dark brooding production. It adds the right atmosphere to this song and topic. Overall, I give it a 5 outta 5.
#7. Love Me Harder-Ariana Grande ft The Weeknd: This is a strange collaboration. You have Ariana Grande working with The Weeknd, an R&B singer with the Basquiat hairstyle who sang lyrics like “do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?,” on a song called Love Me Harder (geez, I wonder what this song is gonna be about?). This shouldn’t work, but, strangely, it does. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a great song, but it’s actually pretty good. The production is pretty solid and their voices are good and they complement each other well. And, yes, the song is exactly what you think is gonna be about with very little subtlety. Overall, it is one of the better songs on the charts. I give it a 4 outta 5.
#6. Hot Nigga-Bobby Schmurda: 0/00000
#5. Bang Bang-Jessie J, Ariana Grande, & Nicki Minaj: 0/00000
#4. Habits (Stay High)-Tove Lo: 0000/00000
#3. Animals-Maroon 5: 0/00000
#2. All About That Bass-Meghan Trainor: 0000/00000
#1. Shake It Off-Taylor Swift: 0/00000
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of November 15, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, I unleash the Top 10 List for the worst songs of 2012.