Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Let’s talk about the man of the hour, Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. AKA Lil Wayne. This guy is Cash Money’s biggest moneymaker, being the label’s most successful artist and bringing the label to new heights. As much as I rag on Wayne, there is no denying he has made an impact on modern rap and he is influential to a lot of newer rappers, good and bad (I didn’t say that was a positive thing, by the way). He was never a great rapper, but he did release solid material, especially in the mid-2000s with the Dedication/Drought mixtapes and Tha Carter II. But the rest of his material was okay at best and the majority of the stuff he released after Tha Carter III sucked a big one. Throughout the years, Wayne got worse and worse to the point where he is now a self-parody and it is painful to watch. Today’s Target Practice is an addition to Wayne’s declining quality as an artist, featuring Aubrey Graham himself and the K-Mart version of T-Pain, Future, this is the ironically-titled Love Me.
I’m on that good kush and alcohol I got some down bitches I can call I don’t know what I would do without y’all
So Future is drunk, high, and he called up some prostitutes for some sex. That sounds depressing as hell if you think about it. I don’t know why rappers would brag about sex with prostitutes if they can get any girl they want with their money and fame. Life as a rapper doesn’t sound too appealing.
I’mma ball ’til the day I fall Ball, ball, ball, ball
And what we have here is the classic case of a guy trying to make himself look awesome by spending a lot of money. All of that balling and yet you’re still paying for sex. Pathetic.
Long as my bitches (yeah, yeah…) I could give a fuck about no hater, long as my bitches love me (Yeah, yeah…) I could give a fuck about no nigga, long as my bitches love me
And here is Drake’s only contribution to this goddamn song. This warranted a feature credit, lines that Future himself could’ve said? Ugh. Anyways, Drake lets us, the listener, know that as long as his bitches love him, he doesn’t care about haters. Because the only way to let people know you don’t care about haters is writing songs about them. Perfect logic…….. NO, IT FUCKING ISN’T!! This is insecurity at its best. You’re hiding behind this phony bravado to hide the fact that you feel some type of way about people not liking you. You’re not fooling anyone. Now that that crap was over, let’s venture into more crap with Wayne.
Pussy-ass niggas stop hatin’ Lil’ Tunechi got that fire
And this just proves my previous point. You sound like an insecure stan with that first line, Wayne, and it contradicts what Drake says. “I don’t give a fuck about haters as long as my bitches love me,” *sees people saying negative things about him* “Stop hating, pussy ass niggas.” You sound real butthurt, dude. And if this is your definition of fire, then it must be ice cold.
And these hoes love me like Satan… Fuck with me and get bodied
They love you like Satan? Unless these chicks are Satanists, then that means you get no love. Do these rappers ever pay attention to the things they say? Even Satan doesn’t love Satan.
Fuck off. Nobody likes you. Plus, threatening to kill somebody? Classy.
And all she eat is dick She on a strict diet
So your girl eats nothing but penises all the time? Dude, you should kick her ass out before you wind up dickless. I’m sorry. Those lines bring up nothing but disturbing imagery. *shudders* God, her and Lorena Bobbitt would get along so well.
That’s my baby With no makeup she a ten
You’re just saying that just to get her to stay with you.
And she the best with head Even better than Karrine
Bragging about his girl’s ability to give fellatio and saying she’s better than Karrine Steffans, a video model also known as Superhead because of her BJ abilities who wrote a book about blowing half of the rap industry. To think that this guy actually has a female fanbase, even with all of the horrible things he says.
She don’t want money She want the time we could spend She said “cause I really need somebody, So tell me you’re that somebody”
All she wants is somebody to spend time with and she doesn’t care about money or material things. That’s nice. I don’t know why she chooses a vile, rich rapper whose music has more misogyny than Eminem’s and looks like a deformed Pokemon.
And girl, I fuck who I want And fuck who I don’t
Basically, Wayne will have sex with anyone. Male, female, transgender, dog, et cetera, et cetera. He don’t discriminate as long as there’s a hole for him to stick his dick into. Your punchline backfired.
Got that A1 credit At that Filet Mignon
What is this guy’s obsession with filet mignon? Seriously, he’s mentioned it in a bunch of songs before, especially on Every Girl. Enough, Wayne. Enough.
She say “I never wanna you make you mad, I just wanna make you proud” I say “baby, just make me cum, Then don’t make a sound” Tunechi…
You know? I think Rap Critic is right. This does sound like an abusive relationship. Sounds like he put his hands on her a couple of times and she’s afraid of him beating her again and he says “Fuck me and then shut up.” That’s horrible.
Real niggas, fuck these haters These hoes got pussies like craters
Jesus Christ, craters? What women are you hanging around with that have crater-like vaginas, Wayne? God. That imagery.
Can’t treat these hoes like ladies, man…
So who would you consider a lady then, Wayne, outside of your mother? Considering the things you’ve said about women, ladies probably don’t even exist in your drugged-out universe.
Pussy, money, weed, codeine
The four main things that Wayne (and most rappers) talks about in 95% of his music.
She say my dick feel like morphine
So she’s saying your penis is like a drug. Makes sense. Might feel good for her, but it has side effects like catching an STD.
I hope my name tastes like sardines to these niggas
Well, that depends on if somebody likes sardines or not, so you’ll get a mixed reception from people. Accurate, though, I’ll give you props for that.
She wake up, eat his dick Call that breakfast in bed, 69/96
Dude, stay away from the penis-eating chicks for the sake of your jimmy. And I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as a 96. There’s a reason why a 69 is called a 69, because when both partners are going down on each other, it looks like the number 69. With a 96, you’re basically pressing the back of your heads against each other’s butts and it would look awkward. Again, punchline backfire.
I feel her heartbeat I touched her chest with this bitch Now turn around, face down, I’m arresting this bitch
More boring sex talk. Yawn. Next.
Yeah, all my bitches love me And I love all my bitches But it’s like soon as I cum I come to my senses
Wayne loves his bitches and they love him, but as soon as he climaxes, he doesn’t love them anymore. A classic one-night stand.
And I would say these hoes’ names But then I would be snitchin’
Maybe because you either forgot their names or you didn’t even bother asking for their names.
And these haters try to knock me But they can’t knock me off the hinges Tunechi…
No, they can’t, because you’re doing a good job knocking yourself off the hinges.
I lost a few good bitches Met some more bad bitches And I be schoolin’ them niggas Pose for your class picture And kiss my ass if you hatin’ I’m getting’ ass while I’m skatin’ I lost a few good bitches Met some more bad bitches And I be schoolin’ them niggas Pose for your class picture And kiss my ass if you hatin’ I’m getting’ ass while I’m skatin’ Bitch…
Bitches and picture doesn’t rhyme. Oh, who am I kidding expecting quality out of this shit? Couple of things before I wrap it up; my point still stands about the insecure douchebags not caring about haters in spite of them constantly talking about them and Wayne, you can’t even do a fucking ollie, so cut it with the skateboard bullshit. If I can accept that I can’t skate after thinking I can, then so should you.
This song is an unlikable act of insecurities and hedonism. To know that this shit was a Top 10 hit is depressing. You wanna know what else is depressing? This entire record, from the slow, dreary production courtesy of Mike Will Made-It, to the performances and the lyrics. These guys do not sound like they’re having fun at all, it seems like they were forced to do this record by their labels. Future is terrible as usual and Drake is reduced to some throwaway lines for the hook. But the big stinker here is Wayne himself, who just gave up big time. The lyrics are awful, they’re sexist, uncreative, and straight-up disgusting. No thought went into them and what we’re left with is a bunch of cringeworthy sex talk that really isn’t that sexy. Currently, there’s a rift between Lil Wayne and Cash Money Records because they wouldn’t let him release Tha Carter V and Wayne wants out. Why do I bring this up? No reason. I honestly don’t give a shit as long as he doesn’t release any new music, but if history is any indication, I doubt that’ll happen. Next Target Practice, we’ll talk about a Young Money artist who isn’t Drake, Nicki Minaj, or Lil Wayne.