Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Question: who thought it was a good idea to let Birdman rap? And why hasn’t anyone stopped him? He’s been rapping for more than two decades now and hasn’t improved one bit lyrically. Every song he does and every song he’s featured on, he’s always the worst part of it. His verses mostly consists of him reading everything on his receipts after a day of shopping. Nobody wants to hear Birdman rap. Hell, why do you think his most successful singles feature Lil Wayne? The guy can’t carry a song by himself. Anyways, in 2013, the artists of Young Money/Cash Money released a compilation album together under the name Rich Gang (don’t know why they didn’t decided to go by YMCMB) and this is the lead single for that album featuring Lil Wayne, Birdman, Mack Maine, Nicki Minaj, and the bootleg T-Pain himself Future, this is Tapout.
If you hating, you just need some pussy (Rich)
So we start things off with Lil Wayne and we’re already in stupid territory. He thinks that people who don’t like him don’t have sex and needs to have sex. That makes sense, sex changing your opinions on someone. It’s clear that Wayne is working on cartoon logic.
She fucked up when she gave me some pussy
You’re right about that. I feel bad for any chick who would give it up to that creature.
Say, “I fuck you better than that other nigga”
Stealing another man’s girlfriend: one of the topics in music that needs to die a horrible death.
She say Tune, “I’m ’bout to cum, ” I say, “I’m cumming with ya”
That was lame… and gross.
And she don’t like them pretty niggas s’diddy niggas
So she likes ugly dudes. Huh. Whatever’s your preference, I’m not judging (yes, I am).
She ride this dick her titties jiggle
That’s my pillows
That’s because I sleep in that hoe
Why are you sleeping inside of her body like she’s a dead Tauntaun? Sleep in a bed, you fucking weirdo.
Hit it when I wake up tell the pigs I say, “Asalaam Alaykum uh”
Wow. That was unbelievably racist.
My bitch a choosy lover never fuck without a rubber
Well, she made the right decision of not having kids with this asshole. You gotta plan ahead.
Sweet yellow bone thing I call her honey mustard
Sounds like a stripper name. “COMING TO THE STAGE, HONEY MUSTARD!!”
Pussy like a sea shell
That does not bring up positive imagery. Have you even seen a sea shell? I’m pretty sure it would not be satisfying sticking your dick into one.
Dick like a V12
She say I drive her crazy
I say just keep on your seat belt
Comparing your penis to a car. Like we haven’t heard that before.
Bend it over bust it open for me
Baby bend it over bust it open for me
Repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition.
Yeah, she say she love me, she just love this dick
More like she loves your money.
I put that million dollar pussy on me make me rich
I’m pretty sure you’re doing a good job making yourself rich. Onto Future, who doing the chorus (of course).
She got that million dollar, million dollar oooo ooo ooo. [x2]
And all I wanna do is touch it, touch it, touch it, ooo ooo oo
…..……………………….. Moving on.
Make her tap out, tap out, tap out, tap out, tap out
And I’m a make her tap out, tap out, tap out, tap out, tap out (all day, all night)
So you want to pin her down and choke her out until she gives? Are you having sex or are you wrestling? It sounds like you’re trying to kill her. Birdman is up next and thankfully, his verse is short, but let’s see how many material things he names.
Crib made her tap out,
Sauna made her tap out,
Jet made her tap out,
Pilot with the map out
So she passed out because she saw your crib, sauna, and jet? Overreact much?
Million on the diamonds, million on the kitchen, millions on the Maybach, glass top ceiling
Million dollar pussy, sleeping on Versace, sleeping on the Fendi, sleeping on Cavalli,
Birdman spent millions on jewelry, a new kitchen, a Maybach with a glass top ceiling, Versace, Fendi, and Calvalli. Basically, he’s like a teenage girl at the mall with a new credit card.
Married to the money,
Millions in the bank
Alexander McQueen, rich in the paint
With the way he’s always talking about money, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was married to it. Also, Alexander McQueen. There’s probably more things that he bought that he wants to talk about, but couldn’t. Anyways, up next is Mack Maine.
I got that fuck you if you love me on some nigga shit
She got that million dollar 7 figure nigga rich
We switch positions like we doing yoga in this bitch
She get to shaking then stiff
That… was bad. Really. This warranted a feature? Four bars of bullshit? This contributed nothing to the overall song. On to Nicki.
Million dollar pussy, million dollar pussy
Six inch pumps, play with his balls, dunks
Real classy, Nicki. Real classy. Also, it’s time to kill that hashtag shit because it got old quick.
Bald head, yup, don’t want no Forest Gumps
Forestt Gump wasn’t even bald. That line doesn’t even make sense. Have you even seen the movie? Ugh.
Don’t let me tell ya twice, already told ya once
Eat that pussy
Who got the baddest pussy on the planet
D boys love me they don’t understand it
What is her obsession with drug dealers? She’s rich and famous, meaning she can get anyone she wants and she goes for lowlife criminals? Your standards are pretty low, Nicki.
Oooooh deep throat (Rich Gang)
I’m sure some perverted guys would love to know about your deep throat skills. Still, it won’t top Lil Kim swallowing a soda can.
Million dollar pussy might pounce on that ass
Throw them hundreds ’til I lose counts on that ass
Max out all of them accounts on that ass
Million dollar cheques don’t bounce on that ass
Rhyming “on that ass” with itself four times. Now I see why people call Nicki the best.
Pull up in that you can’t afford this
Only rap bitch on the Forbes list
Yeah, yeah. You have lots of money. Who gives a dick?
Pussy jewelry make ’em say burr man, rubs hands like Birdman
What the hell is pussy jewelry? On second thought, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. Well, that’s the end of her verse, and that’s where the song ends as there’s nothing…
I’m in love with your Egyptian skin
And your talk about religion
Wait. What the fuck is this shit? There’s more? Ugh. Anywho, her talk about religion? Dude, you’re trying to have sex with this girl and you wanna bring up religion? Sounds like the best way for her to dry up.
I’m in prison with the pussy
And I’m fallin’, no cushion
…… in prison with the pussy? Being in prison is always a negative metaphor, no matter who you are, so don’t try to twist this into something positive. And if you’re falling into something that has no cushion, you’d be dead. Well, that’s that. The song is finally over and thank God.
This song is a wrestling event of arrogance and horniness. Everything that Young Money/Cash Money are is fully represented here: blatant materialism, constant sex talk, simple metaphors and punchlines, frequent stupidity, and little to no creativity. Top that off with a generic beat that sounds like every other modern mainstream rap song and that every performer on this shit sucked, but the worst one undoudtedly is Birdman. Dude didn’t even try. You know you’re terrible when Future isn’t even the worst part of the song. Just stick to rubbing your hands in the background of music videos, Birdman. Rapping isn’t for you. Well, that concludes Young Money Month. I am done talking about these artists and I need to recover from all of that shit. So next Target Practice, I review a Kanye West song.