Target Practice

Target Practice: Kanye West “Bound 2”

Target Practice

Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Kanye Kardashian. As much as I make fun of him and criticize his life choices, I’m still a fan of his music. Just because an artist is a real-life asshole doesn’t mean you can’t like their music. Sometimes, you have to separate the artists from the art. For more than ten years, Kanye has blessed us with game-changing classics, even his most polarizing material is different from everything else in mainstream music. His records usually have amazing production, I wish I could say the same about his lyrics. Kanye is not the best lyricist ever. If you ever look at his lyrics, a lot of them are simplistic and don’t hold a candle to other rappers known for strong lyricism, which brings us to today’s Target Practice, which is one of the few songs from Yeezus that I actually like. This is Bound 2.

No artwork, so here’s the cover for Yeezus instead.

All them other niggas lame, and you know it now
When a real nigga hold you down, you supposed to drown

I don’t know about you, but this line brings up very disturbing imagery. Seriously. Listen to that again and try NOT to picture some dude trying to drown his girlfriend in a bathtub full of water.

boyfriend: All them other niggas lame and you know it now. When a real nigga hold you down, you supposed to drown

girlfriend: *head under water* I can’t breathe.

boyfriend: Bitch, I’m a real nigga and I’m just holding you down. If you truly love me, then you would drown.

What you doing in the club on a Thursday?
She say she only here for her girl birthday

Good question. Why are you at a club on a Thursday? Well, at least it’s better than a Tuesday.

They ordered champagne but still look thirsty

Maybe the champagne will satisfy that thirst.

Rock Forever 21 but just turned thirty

A grown ass woman dressing like a teenager. That’s… actually pretty sad. Clearly, this chick (who shall remain unnamed) is having a mid-life crisis.

I know I got a bad reputation
Walking ’round, always mad reputation
Leave a pretty girl sad reputation
Start a Fight Club, Brad reputation

Mabe if you start being nice to people, you wouldn’t have a bad reputation, Kanye.

I turned the nightclub out of the basement
I’ll turn the plane ’round, your ass keep complaining

Turning your basement into a club. That’s something I would do.

How you gon’ be mad on vacation?
Dutty wining ’round all these Jamaicans

Kanye, you might want to watch your girl around those Jamaicans because they might do more than dutty wining, if you know what I mean.

Uh, this that prom shit
This that what we do, don’t tell your mom shit

What are you, high schoolers? Y’all grown ass people. Act like it.

This that red cup, all on the lawn shit
Got a fresh cut, straight out the salon, bitch

Now you were at a college frat party. Pretty fucking sad for a man in his thirties to be at a frat party.

I know you’re tired of loving, of loving
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody (Uh-huh, honey)

And this is one of only two parts of the song that R&B legend Charlie Wilson contributes to the track and it is filler. Yep. Kanye Kardashian wasted fucking Uncle Charlie. Unforgivable.

Close your eyes and let the word paint a thousand pictures
One good girl is worth a thousand bitches

Yeah, your choice of women isn’t exactly that great, Kanye. Either way, I highly anticipate My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy part 2.

I wanna fuck you hard on the sink
After that, give you something to drink

Real classy, Kanye. Real classy. Isn’t there a phrasing that goes “don’t fuck where you eat?” Don’t be surprised if your food tastes funny.

Step back, can’t get spunk on the mink
I mean damn, what would Jeromey Romey Romey Rome think?

Why would you care about what a fictional character from a 90s sitcom think of you getting splooge on your mink carpet?

Hey, you remember where we first met?
Okay, I don’t remember where we first met
But hey, admitting is the first step
And hey, you know ain’t nobody perfect

He was probably drunk that day, but props for being honest.

And I know, with the hoes I got the worst rep
But hey, their backstroke I’m tryna perfect

Yeah, you do have a rep for sleeping with hoes, including the one you’re currently with.

And hey, ayo, we made it, Thanksgiving
So hey, maybe we can make it to Christmas
She asked me what I wished for on my wishlist
Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?

So you want to have a ménage à trois. Hmm. Why am I not surprised? Also, Thanksgiving and Christmas doesn’t rhyme.

Maybe we could still make it to the church steps
But first, you gon’ remember how to forget

By getting her drunk?

After all these long-ass verses
I’m tired, you tired, Jesus wept

Dude, your verses aren’t even that long. I mean, sure, they’re longer than 16 bars, but they’re not exactly 32 bars or longer either.

I know you’re tired of loving, of loving
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody
So just grab somebody, no leaving this party
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody (Uh-huh, honey)

Here’s Charlie other contribution to the song and it’s the same shit.

Jerome’s in the house, watch your mouth
Jerome’s in the house, watch your mouth

Dude, stop trying to impress Jerome. He’s not even real. Maybe Kanye has been watching too much Martin and thinks he’s in that world. Maybe that explains all of the crazy shit he says and does recently because he’s mentally stuck in a TV show. Ehh, who knows?

This song is a boundful journey of hilarity. Again, I like this song, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have flaws, mostly in the lyrical department. These lyrics are so ridiculous and easy to misinterpret that I don’t think anyone could review this song the same way. Charlie Wilson is wasted here and it’s a shame because he is an amazing vocalist. But what makes me like the song the most is the production. It is amazing. The old-school soul sample is perfect, though I could’ve done without the distorted synth bass. In spite of what I said about the lyrics, Kanye’s verses aren’t that bad. Hell, he’s had worse verses. His performance here is servicable. It’s still entertaining. He probably had good intentions for this song, but being Kanye, he somehow finds a way to screw that up. Next Target Practice, I review a random straight out the Hot 100 right now.



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Young Blood-The Naked And Famous

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Footprints-A Tribe Called Quest