Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I review the 40 most popular songs in the United States. Spring break is coming up for a lot of people and to me, that means I get to be a lazy ass for an entire week. Let’s get started.
#40. Animals-Maroon 5: F
#39. Outside-Calvin Harris ft Ellie Goulding: I got nothing outta this song. It’s just okay. Not great, not bad, just okay. The beat Calvin Harris provides isn’t anything that special and Ellie Goulding had better performances. I don’t feel anything from this song, it just exists. Both of these artists had better songs. For that, I give this a C.
#38. I Want You To Know-Zedd ft Selena Gomez: This song is fine, but pretty underwhelming. The beat is outdated, it sounds like something that would be made in 2011 or 2012. Easily one of Zedd’s weaker production work. Selena’s performance is fine for what it is, which isn’t much. But hey, it’s more tolerable than anything off of Stars Dance. It’s decent club filler. It also gets a C.
#37. Riptide-Vance Joy: C
#36. Shut Up And Dance-Walk The Moon: Does anyone miss The Killers? Because I do. This song reminds me of something they would do. And that’s not me bashing this song or group because this is a good song. It has a good beat, it’s catchy, energetic, and danceable. The important part of making a party song is to make it sound fun and this sounds fun. I always like to hear party songs that sound fun and aren’t depressing and it’s always good to see more rock songs in the Top 40 just to add variety. I give this an A.
#35. 7/11-Beyonce: F
#34. Ghost-Ella Henderson: A
#33. Stay With Me-Sam Smith: A
#32. Prayer In C-Lillywood & Robin Schultz: B
#31. Take Your Time-Sam Hunt: So this is what Sam Hunt decided to release as the follow-up for Leave The Night On. Yeah, this isn’t that great. The instrumentation is alright, but nothing spectacular, and Sam’s half-sung, half spoken vocals throw off the song for me. This is your standard cheesy country love ballad that brings nothing new to the table. It gets a D.
#30. Blessings-Big Sean ft Drake: I never actually listened to Big Sean’s new album because of his track record of inconsistency. In spite of his potential to be good, his previous albums are average at best and his most successful singles are awful. So this his follow up to IDFWU (which is basically a song version of a guy talking shit about his ex on socia media), Blessings, which features Aubrey Graham himself and it is weak. For a song about being blessed, nobody on here sounds like they’re blessed. They spend more time talking shit about haters and they both sound depressed and it’s not helped by the beat, which is fine, but it doesn’t fit the song. Lyrically, it’s nothing special. Someone definitely should’ve press the reset button here. This gets a D.
#29. I Don’t Fuck With You-Big Sean ft E40: F
#28. Jealous-Nick Jonas: F
#27. Ayo-Chris Brown & Tyga: F
#26. All About That Bass-Meghan Trainor: C
#25. Chains-Nick Jonas: So you people now want to make one of the Jonas Brothers a thing. Are you fucking serious? Wasn’t Justin Timberlake not enough for you? So after the shittiness of Jealous, we get Chains. Spoilers: it’s not a good song. It’s better than Jealous, but not by much. The only good thing about it is the production, which should have gone to a better artist with personality. Mr. Jonas once again tries to emulate Justin Timberlake with this song and fails miserably. I can’t stand his whiny vocals and the songwriting is horrible, mostly repeating th same phrases over and over. All this song does is make me wish for more music from JT. Production alone saves this from an F, but it’s not enough to raise it up higher than a low D, which is what it gets.
#24. Shake It Off-Taylor Swift: F
#23. Only-Nicki Minaj ft Drake, Lil Wayne, & Chris Brown: F
#22. One Last Time-Ariana Grande: So after the very forgettable Problem, the very good Break Free, and the very awesome Love Me Harder, what song does Ariana Grande promotes as the next single? The very forgettable One Last Time. Really? Of all the songs off of My Everything that could be promoted as singles, this is what she chooses. The song is produced by David Guetta and it’s exactly what you expect from a David Guetta beat. The writing and performance aren’t anything that special. This isn’t bad, but it is dull. I give it a D.
#21. Heartbeat Song-Kelly Clarkson: D
#20. She Knows-Ne-Yo ft Juicy J : F
#19. Somebody-Natalie La Rose ft Jeremih: I know nothing about this Natalie La Rose chick outside of one thing: she was discovered by Flo Rida. Already, I don’t care. And her debut single features Jeremih. Another reason for me to not care. But here it is in the Top 20 and my God, is this bland. The beat is awful as it sounds like something stolen from DJ Mustard’s files of unused beats. Neither Natalie or Jeremih bring any personality or energy to this already energyles song. Even worse, it rips off Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody. Why is this a hit? *sigh* Overall, I give this an F.
#18. Centuries-Fall Out Boy: A
#17. I’m Not The Only One-Sam Smith: A
#16. G.D.F.R.-Flo Rida ft Sage The Gemini & The Lookas: F
#15. All Day-Kanye West ft Theophilus London, Allan Kingdom, & Paul McCartney: I might have already gave spoilers on my feelings about this song on Twitter, but let me clarify: THIS SONG IS FUCKING AWESOME. Kanye has blessed us with another masterpiece of a song. The production kicks ass, it is classic Kanye. The lyrics aren’t the best, but they’re made up for by Kanye’s enertaining perfomance. He has so much energy and sounds like he’s having so much fun. This is more of a club banger than other so-called club bangers. Theophilus London didn’t do much, but Allan Kingdom was pretty good. The song switches up twice, the first time, you hear Paul McCartney playing the guitar and whistling (which is something that hasn’t been heard in a hit song since that one song that shall be unnamed), which will give you whiplash from the sudden change, and then it switches up the second time. Overall, great song, has me looking forward to Kanye’s new album. I give this a very high B.
#14. Truffle Butter-Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne: D
#13. Lips Are Movin-Meghan Trainor: D
#12. Trap Queen-Fetty Wap: Well, a year wouldn’t be complete without a shitty rap song and this is the latest one from new rapper Fetty Wap (again with rappers that have dumb names). This idiot is rapping about a woman who’ll ride-or-die with him as a drug dealer and boy, is that unappealing. This guy’s rapping is terrible, made worse by his voice and his horrid attempts to sing. The beat sounds like every other mainstream rap song out there and the lyrics are your standard money, drugs, hoes cliches that we’ve heard a million times before, plus there’s a line about breaking into another man’s house and having sex with his girlfriend. Classy. I have nothing else to add to this shit. It gets an F.
#11. I Don’t Mind-Usher ft Juicy J: F
#10. Blank Space-Taylor Swift: F
#9. Time Of Our Lives-Pitbull ft Ne-Yo: C
#8. Take Me To Church-Hozier: A
#7. Earned It-The Weeknd: C
#6. Style-Taylor Swift: D
#5. FourFiveSeconds-Rihanna ft Kanye West & Paul McCartney: B
#4. Love Me Like You Do-Ellie Goulding: C
#3. Sugar-Maroon 5: F
#2. Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran: A
#1. Uptown Funk-Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars: A
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of March 14, 2015. Stay Tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, Women’s Month continues, plus a new Random WTF Lyrics.
SONGS OF THE WEEK
Thuggish Ruggish Bone-Bone Thugs N Harmony
Highway To Hell-AC/DC
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)-Backstreet Boys