Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I look at the Hot 100’s Top 40 and give my honest opinion. In the time this is posted, I’m currently in my spring break, doing absolutely nothing but stay home, catch up on some sleep, and work on this site. It’s good to be me right now. Enough bullshit. Let’s get started.
#40. Riptide-Vance Joy: C
#39. Dear Future Husband-Meghan Trainor: At this point, I’m through with Meghan Trainor. Going through her debut album, it’s clear she is a one-trick pony. Shallow music over retro-themed production. The novelty is gonna wear off eventually. Hell, All About That Bass, a song I initially praised, has gotten worse throughout time and so has Lips Are Movin. So it’s no surprise that I wasn’t impressed with Meghan’s latest single Dear Future Husband. It’s not bad, but I’m not gonna rush to listen to it again. This song is her listing demands from some guy who wants to be her future husband and it’s basically everything you expect. Nothing special about this or the production, which is the same as the previous singles. I got nothing out of this. I give it a C.
#38. Only-Nicki Minaj ft Drake, Lil Wayne, & Chris Brown: F
#37. All About That Bass-Meghan Trainor: C
#36. Homegrown-Zac Brown Band: Even though I’m not always up to date with country music, I have heard about Zac Brown Band. They have some pretty good music throughout the years. Here’s their newest song Homegrown and it’s pretty awesome. Lyrically, the song is about their love of their hometown. The production is great, a good mix of melodies and harmonic riffs. Definitely one of the best country songs of the year so far. I give this an A.
#35. Centuries-Fall Out Boy: A
#34. Throw Sum Mo-Rae Sremmurd ft Nicki Minaj & Young Thug: What do you get when you gather a bunch of talentless hack rappers along with a talentless producer and have them record a song? The answer: shit. This is exactly what this song is, shit. It’s a shitty strip club song courtesy of Rae Shitheads, the same duo behind the double idiocy that are No Flex Zone and No Type. They still suck as rappers as their lyrics and flow are terrible. Nicki is reduced to a shitty hook and Young Thug continues to suck even more. Add in a terrible Mike Will Made-It beat and you got yourself a big ol’ pile of doo-doo. A song like this should be thrown in the nearest trash can because that’s where it belongs. I give this an F.
#33. Lips Are Movin-Meghan Trainor: D
#32. Outside-Calvin Harris ft Ellie Goulding: C
#31. I Don’t Mind-Usher ft Juicy J: F
#30. Blessings-Big Sean ft Drake: D
#29. I’m Not The Only One-Sam Smith: A
#28. Talking Body-Tove Lo: Tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to expect from Tove Lo’s follow-up to Habits (Stay High). I’m just hoping it’s good and more Tove Lo on the charts is always a good thing. Well, here’s that follow-up, Talking Body, and it’s a damn good song. This is a sex jam and it does that kind of thing right. It has a good beat and Tove Lo’s performance is pretty good in spite of obvious vocal effects. The song isn’t perfect, but for me, it’s good enough. I give it a B.
#27. I Want You To Know-Zedd ft Selena Gomez: B
#26. Shake It Off-Taylor Swift: F
#25. Ayo-Chris Brown & Tyga: F
#24. Heartbeat Song-Kelly Clarkson: D
#23. Take Your Time-Sam Hunt: F
#22. Post To Be-Omarion ft Chris Brown & Jhene Aiko: DJ Mustard. You just had to poop out one stinker, did ya? But I don’t blame you, Mustard, for this song being this high on the charts (not entirely), I blame YOU people who either bought, downloaded, or streamed this shit. You did this. On a serious note, Post To Be is your generic song about stealing another man’s girlfriend because people never get tired of being insulted by these type of songs. The beat sucks, but what did you expect? It’s produced by DJ Mustard, saying that is like saying water is wet and fire is hot. No fucking shit. Omarion is forgettable, Chris Brown is still a dick, and Jhene Aiko stooped down to their level with Auto-Tuned vocals and terrible lyrics (a highlight being “eat the booty like groceries”). This is shameful and unforgivable. I give this an F.
#21. Take Me To Church-Hozier: A
#20. Lay Me Down-Sam Smith: After Stay With Me and I’m Not The Only One, Lay Me Down is pretty underwhelming. I’m not saying it’s bad, but it could have been better. The production is very lightweight and Sam’s performance isn’t one of his better ones. The emotional weight really isn’t there. I was actually bored listening to this. There’s another version of this song with John Legend, which doesn’t help. Overall, this song is just meh. I give it a D.
#19. Bitch Better Have My Money-Rihanna: When I saw that Rihanna was gonna release a song called Bitch Better Have My Money, I said to myself, “There is no way I’m going to take this seriously.” But I also told myself not to judge a book by its cover, so I went into listening to this song with an open mind and… my initial instincts were correct because this song is absolute garbage. This is another attempt by Rihanna to make trap-flavored club music and the results are disasterous. The production is horrible, Rihanna’s yelling voice is horrible, and the lyrics are also horrible. She’s trying to portray herself as a pimp, which is laughable. Bitch, you’re a rich and famous pop star. Have several seats. I am not buying this crap for one second. This song sucks. It gets an F.
#18. Truffle Butter-Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne: D
#17. Blank Space-Taylor Swift: F
#16. One Last Time-Ariana Grande: D
#15. Time Of Our Lives-Pitbull ft Ne-Yo: C
#14. Want To Want Me-Jason Derulo: Just when I thought we were all done with Jason Derulo music, he comes back with yet another mediocre single. Yeah, I said it. It’s not the worst song out there, but it’s not a good song, either. Only decent thing about is the production and it’s still watered down. It’s nothing special lyrically as it’s another where Jason is trying to pick up a chick to have sex with her. His voice is still irritating as all hell, especially when he’s hitting those high notes. I am not impressed by this mediocrity. Look, people. There’s other songs out there from other artists that does what Want To Want Me is trying to do much better than it. I give this a D and that’s just me being generous.
#13. Chains-Nick Jonas: D
#12. Shut Up And Dance-Walk The Moon: A
#11. Somebody-Natalie La Rose ft Jeremih: F
#10. See You Again-Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth: Right now, Furious 7, the latest installment to the Fast & Furious series, is the biggest film of 2015 (that is until the releases of Avengers: Age Of Ultron and the upcoming JJ Abrams-directed Star Wars: The Force Awakens). I never really cared about these films and I especially don’t care about the soundtrack, especially when a lot of the music is mediocre. But here we have another song from Wiz Khalifa for the latest film and it’s pretty good. The production is decent and the lyrics from Wiz showcases some competence as the song is about a long-lost friend (which makes sense as it pays tribute to Paul Walker, who passed away almost two years ago). Charlie Puth is a great singer as he brings some real emotion to this track. I gotta say, this is the best song Wiz Khalifa has ever done since Young, Wild, And Free and I can’t hate on that. I rather he make songs like this than, say, We Dem Boyz. I give it an A.
#9. FourFiveSeconds-Rihanna ft Kanye West & Paul McCartney: B
#8. G.D.F.R.-Flo Rida ft Sage The Gemini & The Lookas: F
#7. Style-Taylor Swift: D
#6. Trap Queen-Fetty Wap: F
#5. Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran: A
#4. Earned It-The Weeknd: C
#3. Love Me Like You Do-Ellie Goulding: C
#2. Sugar-Maroon 5: F
#1. Uptown Funk-Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars: A
Best New Entry
See You Again, Talking Body
Worst New Entry
Throw Sum Mo
Bitch Bette Have My Money, Post To Be
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of April 11, 2015. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, I tear Migos a well-deserved new one in a new Target Practice.
SONGS OF THE WEEK
Return Of The Mack-Mark Morrison
Steal My Sunshine-Len
Stand Up-Ludacris ft Shawna