Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I pick five random bad lyrics from five random songs. Let’s get started.
Oh, 2 Chainz. I can always count on you for bad lyrics. I might do a full Random WTF Lyrics looking at your catalog of suckage.
My wrist deserve a shout-out, I’m like “What up, wrist?”
My stove deserve a shout-out, I’m like “What up, stove?”
Why are you giving random inanimate objects shout outs? What do you accomplish out of that? It’s just so stupid and random. If this was supposed to be funny, then it failed. Can you imagine doing this?
What up, bed? What up, toilet? What up, sink? What up, refrigerator? What up, couch? What up, TV? What up, door? What up, car? What up, stranger in a hoodie? What up, barrel of a 9mm pist-
Crooked Smile-J Cole ft TLC
I ask if my skin pale
Would I then sell like Eminem or Adele?
Bad Blood-Taylor Swift
Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes
No fucking shit, Sherlock Holmes. You’d have to be brain dead to try and fix a bullet wound with a Band-Aid. Go to a fucking hospital if you’ve been shot, don’t go all MacGyver.
man 1: Yo, man. I’ve been stabbed. I think I lost a lot of blood. Help me out.
man 2: Don’t worry, fam. I got you.
*grabs duct tape and puts it over stab wound*
man 2: There you go. Good as new… Hey. You alright? Wake up.
*man 1 dies*
I Just Can’t Stop Loving You-Michael Jackson ft Sideah Garrett
I was initially shocked when Bennett The Sage put this song on his Top 20 Worst Number One Songs list. Then I listened to his reason and I think his choice was justified. Take a look.
I Just Want To Lay Next To You
You Look So Beautiful Tonight
Your Eyes Are So Lovely
Your Mouth Is So Sweet
A Lot Of People
That’s Because They Don’t
Know Me At All
I Just Want To Touch You
And Hold You
I Need You
God I Need You
I Love You So Much
I NEED AN ADULT!! I NEED AN ADULT!! I NEED AN ADULT!! *shudders* Seriously, Michael. WHY?! Why did you put THIS in your song? The tone of this whole thing gives off a creepy vibe, with Michael’s whispered voice and the silence of the music. He sounds like a demented serial killer talking to one of his victims that he got locked up in his basement. *shudders* Let’s move on.
Truffle Butter-Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne
I never understood the praise surrounding this song. It’s not anything we haven’t hear from Nicki before. The beat is repetitive and the lyrics are average at best. To show you what I mean, let’s play a game called “Who Has The Worst Lines?” where we judge the worst lines from all parties. Let’s look at Drake first.
I could probably make some step-sisters fuck each other
Incest. That’s what people like. And no, I don’t care if they’re stepsisters, they’re related to each other in a way and if they’re having sex with each other, it’s still incest. Nice going, Aubrey. That was pretty bad. Let’s see if Nicki can top that.
I’m good with the ball, point game, finger roll
Ask me how to do it, I don’t tell a single soul
Once again, Nicki reduces herself to a sex object and is still using the hashtag flow… in 2015. Nicki must be really desperate to try and revive a dead trend.
Your whole style and approach I invented
And I ain’t takin’ that back, cause I meant it
Bitch, everything you do and are is something copied from other female artists before you. You didn’t invent jack shit. Now for our final contender, Lil Wayne.
Can I hit it in the bathroom? Put your hands on the toilet
I put one leg on the tub
Girl, that’s my new dance move, I just don’t know what to call it
Call it “you look fucking stupid?” You can’t even call that a dance move since you’re not doing anything.
I bought some cocaine if you snortin’
And she became a vacuum, put it on my dick like carpet
Suck the white off white chocolate
So you put cocaine on your penis and let some woman suck it off like some sucker. It’s actually amazing how many ways Wayne can craft something so stupid. It’s official; Lil Wayne is the winner of “Who Has The Worst Lines.” Give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.
So that was Random WTF Lyrics. No bad lyrics are safe.