Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I give my honest opinions on the 40 most popular songs in America according to the Hot 100. It’s September, meaning most people are back in school by this point. Summer’s over (I know that’s technically not true, but it’s over to most people). That means sudden changes to the charts, including a new #1. Let’s get started.
#40. Renegades-X Ambassadors: Took them long enough. This song has been on the charts for a while and it just made the Top 40 a couple weeks ago. And it’s a damn good song that deserves recognition. Alex Da Kid’s production style has always received a mixed reaction from people. He produced Airplanes, I’m Coming Home, and I Need A Doctor, the former is a good song in my opinion and the latter isn’t. With Renegades, has done some of his best production to date. The lead singer is pretty good, too. I’ve heard jokes that this song sounds like it could be used in a truck commercial and yet it was used in one. That’s pretty funny to me. Still doesn’t take away the quality of this song because it’s that awesome. I give it an A.
#39. Back To Back-Drake: B
#38. Post To Be-Omarion ft Chris Brown & Jhene Aiko: F
#37. Earned It-The Weeknd: C
#36. Sugar-Maroon 5: D
#35. Honey, I’m Good-Andy Grammar: B
#34. Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran: A
#33. House Party-Sam Hunt: D
#32. Want To Want Me-Jason Derulo: D
#31. Flex (Ooh Ooh Ooh)-Rich Homie Quan: F
#30. Classic Man- Jidenna ft Roman GianArthur: D
#29. Worth It-Fifth Harmony ft Kid Ink: F
#28. All Eyes On You-Meek Mill ft Nicki Minaj & Chris Brown: F
#27. Uma Thurman-Fall Out Boy: A
#26. Marvin Gaye-Charlie Puth ft Meghan Trainor: F
#25. Uptown Funk-Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars: A
#24. Hit The Quan-IHeartMemphis: I’ve stayed away from Vine because I’m afraid of running into shit like this. Hit The Quan is the new version of Gas Pedal, Hot Nigga, Tuesday, CoCo, Nasty Freestyle, Flicka Da Wrist, Watch Me, etc. In other words, another terrible nu-crunk song that’s contributing more to the declining quality of modern rap. Just like Watch Me, this song has a beat that sounds 9 years outdated and has a stupid ass dance attached to it. Unlike Watch Me, Hit The Quan has actual lyrics instead of just dance instructions. If you think that makes things better, then I want whatever drugs you’re consuming that’s making you think these delusional thoughts. No, these lyrics are the typical empty bragging that Soulja Boy himself would be proud of. *sighs* With how many bad hip-hop songs are making the charts, we should all be grateful for the existence of Kendrick Lamar. This shitpile gets an F.
#23. Drag Me Down-One Direction: F
#22. Hotline Bling-Drake: I am not looking forwards to Views From The 6. At all. I didn’t care for If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late, I won’t care for this album, either. And if Hotline Bling is a preview of that album, it’s not looking good. This song contains some of the reasons why I don’t like Drake’s style. This is him singing about being a major douchehole acting like a therapist to some chick just to get into them pants. Dude, whatever she does in her life is none of your damn business. Butt out. Plus, he chose one of the worst beats ever to sing over. It sounds like digitalized diarrhea and the Auto-Tune makes things worse, like he’s doing a poor 808s & Heartbreak-esque Kanye impersonation. Drake, I know you can do better than this. Stop with the lazy bullshit. I give this an F.
#21. Bad Blood-Taylor Swift: F
#20. See You Again-Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth: A
#19. Stitches-Shawn Mendes: So here we have the first hit song from a Justin Bieber clone, Shawn Mendes. I wasn’t expecting this to be any good, but surprisingly, it is. It’s not a song that I would listen to again, but I have to give credit where it’s due. Stitches has good production and is written pretty well. Shawn has some chops as a singer. This is one of those rare moments when the clone is better than the original (more on the original later). I have nothing else to say about this song, so I’m gonna go ahead and give it a B.
#18. Downtown-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee, & Grandmaster Caz: Welcome back, Macklemore. Seeing him on the charts is always a good thing, no matter what anyone says. For his comeback, Mack and Ryan Lewis teamed up with three legendary hip-hop icons from the 80s and some other guy I don’t know for Downtown, which is pretty enjoyable. Seems like they went back to the same tone as Thrift Shop because this song is corny. I mean, it’s about buying a moped. How many rap songs talk about fucking mopeds? Still, Mack shows that he got skills on the mic even with the topic. Meanwhile, Ryan Lewis brings in a retro, 80s hip-hop style beat and it’s complimented by appearances from Kool Moe Dee, Melle Mel, and Grandmaster Caz (who I believe should have been given their own verses instead of mushed together). The weakest part of the song is easily Eric Nally, who just makes this corny song even cornier. Aside from that, Downtown is a good song in spite of the hate it gets. I rather hear this than hear Fetty Wap try and fail at crooning to some “trap queen.” It gets an A from me.
#17. Shut Up And Dance-Walk The Moon: A
#16. My Way-Fetty Wap: F
#15. Wildest Dreams-Taylor Swift: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ………
#14. Trap Queen-Fetty Wap: F
#13. Fight Song-Rachel Platten: D
#12. Photograph-Ed Sheeran: B
#11. Cool For The Summer-Demi Lovato: A
#10. Where Are U Now- Skrillex & Diplo ft Justin Bieber: F
#9. Locked Away-R. City ft Adam Levine: B
#8. 679-Fetty Wap ft Remy Boyz: F
#7. Good For You-Selena Gomez ft A$AP Rocky: C
#6. Lean On-Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft MØ: A
#5. Cheerleader-OMI: A
#4. Watch Me-Silento: F
#3. The Hills-The Weeknd: B
#2. Can’t Feel My Face-The Weeknd: A
#1. What Do You Mean-Justin Bieber: We’ve reached the big one, people. Bieber’s big comeback. It seemed like he was done, but then Where Are U Now became a hit and added another 15 minutes to his already-expired career. Then there’s What Do You Mean, which added another 15. This song was promoted to death everywhere, now it’s on the charts and at number one. That’d be impressive if the song didn’t suck balls. This shit is just Where Are U Now part 2. Hell, Skrillex came back to produce it. That is just lazy rehashing. The beat is limp-dick EDM that hits as hard as a baby’s fist. The writing is bad and lackluster, but that’s to be expected out of a Justin Bieber song. Bieber’s singing is weak as hell and is barely audible. Hell, the entire song is barely audible. Really, America? You chose this slow, featherweight, energy-lacking, sleep-inducing audio Nyquil to be number one? I give this snoozefest an F.
Best New Entry
Worst New Entry
Hit The Quan
Hotline Bling, What Do You Mean
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of September 9, 2015. Stay Tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. Next week, a new Random WTF Lyrics and a Target Practice.