Welcome to the second anniversary of the Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review where I praise and criticize the 40 most popular songs in the United States’ Hot 100. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and so is December. I love the last three months of every year, but this is also a chaotic time for the charts because a lot of songs that debut around this time won’t be counted towards a year’s Year End Hot 100 chart and will show up on the next year’s chart (if they stick around long enough, that is). Anyways, let’s get started.
#40. Fight Song-Rachel Platten: D
#39. Again-Fetty Wap: F
#38. Shut Up And Dance-Walk The Moon: A
#37. Uptown Funk-Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars: A
#36. White Iverson-Post Malone: Am I being trolled? Is this shit seriously a Top 40 hit? *groans* So this is White Iverson from Post Malone and wow. White people, this has to be embarrassing for you. This is a terrible song with a weak ass beat, cliched lyrics with predictable basketball puns and self-comparisons to NBA player Allen Iverson, and a rapper who can’t rap or sing and has to slap Auto-Tune onto his vocals to cover up how much he sucks at this. He’s like the love child of Drake at his worst and ILoveMakkonen. Elevator music has become the norm in rap music now. How do people get “turned up” to this? I give this shit an F.
#35. My Way-Fetty Wap: F
#34. See You Again-Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth: A
#33. Photograph-Ed Sheeran: B
#32. Confident-Demi Lovato: Demi Lovato, you managed to impress me twice. First with Cool For The Summer, and now with Confident. This song has a lot of energy and plays up to Demi’s strengths as a vocalist. Confident is an appropriate title as this song oozes confidence. The production knocks harder than any popular hip-hop “club banger” in 2015 with drums ripped from Black Skinhead (Kanye must be loving the extra paycheck he’s getting from this) combined with some kick ass horns. I can safely say that this song is better than Cool For The Summer, I just wished the rest of her recent album was more like this. Oh, well. Take what you get. I give this song an A.
#31. Cheerleader-OMI: A
#30. Where Ya At-Future ft Drake: F
#29. How Deep Is Your Love-Calvin Harris & Disciples: D
#28. Die A Happy Man-Thomas Rhett: After Crash And Burn literally crashed and burned on the charts, Thomas Rhett decided to release the next single off of the atrocity that is Tangled Up and it’s called Die A Happy Man. It’s better than Crash And Burn, but that’s not really an accomplishment as it’s not difficult to make a song better than Crash And Burn. Anyways, this song isn’t good. This time around, instead of ripping off Sam Cooke, Rhett decided to rip off Ed Sheeran and his song Thinking Out Loud. Well, nice to see one thing hasn’t changed about Thomas Rhett, he’s still a thieving plagiarist. This song is a boring love ballad with some decent instrumentation (even with it being stolen from better songs), but it’s harmless overall. I give it a D.
#27. Antidote-Travi$ Scott: I never understood the appeal of Travi$ Scott. He’s really not that special of a rapper or producer and this song, Antidote, proves it. This is just a poorly-made song about doing drugs and fucking a bunch of chicks. I’ve heard this shit before many times, there’s nothing new or special about it. Travi$ spends most of the song rapping inaudibly in Auto-Tune over this dark, gloomy production that’s more depressing and no fun. This is a rejected Kanye song. Hell, all of Travis Scott’s music is rejected Kanye songs. This is all hype for nothing. Antidote gets an F.
#26. Drag Me Down-One Direction: F
#25. Good For You-Selena Gomez ft A$AP Rocky: C
#24. Trap Queen-Fetty Wap: F
#23. Tennessee Whiskey-Chris Stapleton: If you’re someone who follows country music, then you would know about the CMAs that previously took place. Because of this, we have this song in the Top 40 performed by Chris Stapleton called Tennessee Whiskey. I have to say, I’m impressed. This is actually a cover of the David Allan Coe song of the same name from 1981, which was also covered by George Jones back in 1983. I haven’t heard those versions, so I can’t speak on them, but I can say that Stapleton’s version is a great cover. The instrumentation is smooth with a real grit that most of modern country is missing nowadays. Chris has an amazing voice that fits perfectly with the lyrical content and tone of the song. I don’t have much to say about this. I give it an A.
#22. Hit The Quan-IHeartMemphis: F
#21. Downtown-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee, & Grandmaster Caz: A
#20. Renegades-X Ambassadors: A
#19. Lean On-Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft MØ: A
#18. On My Mind-Ellie Goulding: B
#17. Same Old Love-Selena Gomez: B
#16. Jumpman-Drake & Future: F
#15. Watch Me-Silento: F
#14. Can’t Feel My Face-The Weeknd: A
#13. Here-Alessia Cara: A
#12. Exs And Ohs-Elle King: A
#11. Locked Away-R City ft Adam Levine: B
#10. Like I’m Gonna Lose You-Meghan Trainor ft John Legend: B
#9. 679-Fetty Wap ft Remy Boyz: F
#8. Wildest Dreams-Taylor Swift: F
#7. Focus-Ariana Grande: After listening to Focus a couple of times, I have decided to declare this a misfire. It’s just a rehash of Problem, except with no rap feature. The production is a mess of cluttered percussion, horns, and chorus synths, plus, that drop is fucking horrible. Who thought it was a good idea to put a Mystikal impersonator on there pointlessly? The writing doesn’t do much to impress and Ariana has done much better vocally on other songs. This song isn’t inspiring any confidence from me in her next album, but I like to be optimistic, so I’ll hold my tongue until it’s out. Focus gets an F from me.
#6. Stitches-Shawn Mendes: B
#5. What Do You Mean-Justin Bieber: F
#4. Sorry-Justin Bieber: Who would’ve thought that in 2015, Justin Bieber would score two Top 5 hits? And who would’ve though that he would become least interesting with each single? While I will say that Sorry is better than What Do You Mean, mostly thanks to better production (but that drop can go fuck itself), but that doesn’t mean it’s a good song. Just like the previous song, Sorry suffers from being weak and uninteresting. Bieber’s singing style is what I like to call the whisper-whine. One moment, he sounds like he’s whispering a corny pick-up line to some chick, the next moment, he’s whining like he didn’t get the right color Ferrari for his birthday. Let’s get to the writing, which is him trying to apologize to some unnamed woman. The lyrics makes him look insincere and ignorant to the situation. If Bieber’s going to apologize, he should apologize to the people wasting their time listening to this boring ass shit. I’m gonna give this song the highest rating I’ve ever gave a Justin Bieber song, a D.
#3. The Hills-The Weeknd: A
#2. Hotline Bling-Drake: F
#1. Hello-Adele: Welcome back, Adele. We missed you. It’s been four years since she released the blockbuster that was 21 and now, she’s got a new album coming out next week. While the first single, Hello, isn’t on the same level as Rolling In The Deep and Someone Like You, it’s still an amazing song. Adele’s voice is still strong as ever. The writing is pretty damn potent for a song about missing an ex. All of this is accompanied by epic production. I don’t think any artist but her would know what to do with it. Words alone cannot describe how great this song is; I highly anticipate 25 when it’s out. I give Hello an A.
Best New Entry
Confident, Tennessee Whiskey
Worst New Entry
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of November 10, 2015. Stay tuned next month for another Top 40 Review. This week, a Musical Appreciation of Bohemian Rhapsody and next week, a new Random WTF Lyrics and a Target Practice on Hard To Love.