Welcome back to another Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review where I review the more recent new entries of the Hot 100 since last month. December brings us closer to the beginning of a new year. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Billboard’s Year End chart, etc. etc. The holidays are a joy for everyone (almost). Let’s get started.
#40. Renegades-X Ambassadors: A
#39. See You Again-Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth: A
#38. Good For You-Selena Gomez ft A$AP Rocky: C
#37. In The Night-The Weeknd: You know? I’ve always thought that the chart could use some more throwbacks. Well, The Weeknd must have heard my thoughts and delivered this bowl of awesomeness called In The Night. Just like Can’t Feel My Face, this song has a throwback 80s style in the kick-ass production. Onto the writing. Despite the more upbeat production, this song is actually about a woman who experienced sexual abuse as a child. Pretty dark and it makes sense if you read the lyrics. Still, despite the downer content, In The Night is a damn potent song that works and it’s definitely a highlight on Beauty Behind The Madness. I give it an A.
#36. Roses-The Chainsmokers ft ROZES: Does anyone remember The Chainsmokers? That EDM group who made #SELFIE, a pathetic excuse of a song that tried to be a satire on the lifestyle and mentality of shallow 20-something millennials, but failed miserably. Well, they’re back with a new single, Roses featuring ROZES (redundant much, redundant?). I don’t really know how I feel about it. The production starts off okay, but then by the drop, it becomes weird mess. ROZES herself is okay, but not exactly mindblowing. I don’t even know if I like the song or not. It does have elements I like, but it also has elements I don’t like. I will say this; it’s better than #SELFIE. Maybe it’ll grow on me, maybe it won’t. For now, I’ll give it a C.
#35. Hit The Quan-IHeartMemphis: F
#34. I’ll Show You-Justin Bieber: Bieber’s comeback is one of the big anomalies of 2015. This dude should have been irrelevant, but somehow, he isn’t. He released a new album, Purpose, a couple weeks ago that’s selling like hotcakes and it’s the most uninteresting boring album of the year. This is one of the singles from that album, I’ll Show You, and it’s the perfect representation of the major flaws of Purpose. The production’s a bad combination of high-pitched synths, chipmunk vocals, and trap drums. Bieber himself is a non-presence as he does the whole whisper-whine thing again. The writing tries (and fails) to make the listener sympathize with him because fame has been so hard on him, he couldn’t handle the pressure of the celebrity life, no one understands what it’s like to be-oh, shut the fuck up already. I will never feel sorry for you, Bieber, at all. You have yet to show me why I should give a shit about you. This gets an F.
#33. Drag Me Down-One Direction: F
#32. Break Up In A Small Town-Sam Hunt: Just when you thought that country music couldn’t get any worse, it does. Break Up In A Small Town is the latest bag of cow manure from Sam Hunt. You can’t even call this a country song. It’s more like a pop/R&B track. The production is terrible; it has those stiff drums, barely-audible guitars, obvious synths, and that out-of-place dubstep bass. And that’s just in the chorus. In the verses, all of the instruments are muffled aside from a guitar that, as The Double Agent put it, sounds like radio static. Outside of the sterile production, this is a break-up song that makes Sam Hunt look like a major douchebag as he barely sings on the verses, just talk. Seriously, America. What the hell? I give this turdbag an F.
#31. Where Are U Now-Skrillex & Diplo ft Justin Bieber: F
#30. Say It-Tory Lanez: With anything that becomes popular, there’s bound to be copycats. In the Top 40 right now, we have two songs from copycats of Drake, the first one being Tory Lanez. His style is Auto-Tuned R&B crap and his breakout single Say It showcases that. This dude can’t sing for shit, which is proved by the amount of Auto-Tune on the song that’d make Future jealous. It lazily took Brownstone’s If You Love Me and turned it into this trap clusterfuck of a “love” (sex) song. Tory Lanez wants this unnamed chick to be honest about their relationship while bringing up his nice looking car. While I’m listening to this crap, I’m left wondering why I should give a shit. This shit gets an F.
#29. Where Ya At-Future ft Drake: F
#28. Trap Queen-Fetty Wap: F
#27. Perfect-One Direction: I’ve long accepted that One Direction’s music just isn’t for me. I hated their early bubblegum stuff and their more recent attempts at folk/stadium rock-flavored pop doesn’t impress me. So it’s no surprise that Perfect doesn’t do anything for me. It’s your standard white bread acoustic guitar song that panders to a woman they’re trying to get with. The instrumentation is blech, the writing is blech, the singing is blech. It’s like the musical version of a Disney Channel Original Movie. I’m so glad I never checked out their albums because I don’t want to waste my time with this bullshit. I give this a D.
#26. All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey: With the holidays comes Christmas songs. In terms of overall quality, these are a mixed bag. On one hand, you got Donny Hathaway’s This Christmas, which is my all-time favorite Christmas song. On the other hand, you got Wham!’s Last Christmas, which sucks jingle bells. Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You falls into the former category. It’s a perfect Christmas song. It has a joyful vibe as Mariah sounds enthusiastic about the holidays and the gospel-esque instrumentation fits perfectly like a glove. Plus, the song is about spending the holidays with the one you love with little care for presents. That’s what Christmas should be like, none of that marketing crap. What more can I say? All I Want For Christmas Is You is a holiday classic. I give it an A.
#25. Locked Away-R. City ft Adam Levine: B
#24. Don’t-Bryson Tiller: Now we get to the other Drake copycat, Bryson Tiller. I initially liked Don’t when I first heard it, but after some repeated listens, it was not as good as I thought it was and it gets worse with each listen. Don’t is a sex song where Mr. Bryson Tiller is singing about a girl he knew over a drowsy beat guaranteed to put babies to sleep. The Drake overtones of this record are so obvious, it’s distracting. This sounds like a lost album cut from one of Drake’s albums. I seriously hope this is the last time we hear of this dude and Tory Lanez. We’ve had our fill with too much Drake this year (plus, a new album coming out in 2016), we don’t need any copycats infesting the airwaves. This gets a big fat F.
#23. Die A Happy Man-Thomas Rhett: D
#22. White Iverson-Post Malone: F
#21. Confident-Demi Lovato: A
#20. Lean On-Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft MØ: A
#19. Antidote-Travi$ Scott: F
#18. Watch Me-Silento: F
#17. Focus-Ariana Grande: F
#16. Can’t Feel My Face-The Weeknd: A
#15. Jumpman-Drake & Future: F
#14. Wildest Dreams-Taylor Swift: F
#13. On My Mind-Ellie Goulding: B
#12. Exes & Ohs-Elle King: A
#11. 679-Fetty Wap ft Remy Boyz: F
#10. Same Old Love-Selena Gomez: B
#9. Like I’m Gonna Lose You-Meghan Trainor ft John Legend: B
#8. Here-Alessia Cara: A
#7. Love Yourself-Justin Bieber: I seriously can’t wait until the day Bieber is no longer relevant and no longer on the charts because this is ridiculous. You wanna know something crazy? This song, Love Yourself, is actually the best song on Purpose. Now one might assume that means I think the song is good. Well, that person is wrong, so let me clarify. Love Yourself is a mediocre track, but it’s the least mediocre out of the entire album. It sounds like a rejected Ed Sheeran song, which makes sense since he’s involved with the writing and backing vocals, plus, the production is Sheeran-like. What brings the song down, however, is once again Bieber himself, who’s still weak as fuck as a singer. Plus, the writing is just bad. Here’s a few lyrics from the song.
And I didn’t wanna write a song
Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care
My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself
Genius. I give this a D.
#6. Stitches-Shawn Mendes: D
#5. The Hills-The Weeknd: A
#4. What Do You Mean-Justin Bieber: F
#3. Hotline Bling-Drake: F
#2. Sorry-Justin Bieber: D
#1. Hello-Adele: A
In The Night
All I Want For Christmas Is You
Break Up In A Small Town
I’ll Show You, Say It/Don’t
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of December 8, 2015. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This Friday, I’ll post up my Worst Songs of 2015 list. Don’t miss out on it.