Target Practice

Target Practice: Nickelback “If Everyone Cared”

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Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. With the death of grunge music in the mid-90s, rising from its ashes is a new sub-genre of rock, post grunge. One of the most despised rock genres outside of nu-metal and screamo, many rock purists saw it as nothing more than a watered-down, commercialized version of the music that Pearl Jam and Nirvana previously made. Now there’s two types of post grunge: you got the good kind like Stone Temple Pilots and Foo Fighters, those are good bands, great even, and then there’s Nickelback, Creed, and their ilk. I don’t think I need to explain this one. Nickelback especially gained a reputation for being the most hated band in history. While I don’t hate them as much as other people, I see where they’re coming from. This is a bad band that makes bad music. One of the many complaints about Nickelback’s music is that a lot of their songs sound the same. This has been pointed out so many times by a lot of people that some actually played two of Nickelback’s songs together to point out how similar they are. Simply put, Nickelback are lazy unoriginal hacks. This leads us into today’s Target Practice victim, which is one of the many hits that Nickelback had. This is If Everyone Cared.

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites

What person confuses stars for satellites? So you see all of those dots in the sky and think, “Hey look. Satellites.” Chad Kroeger, you’re really dumb, but I’m sure you get that all the time, so what I say makes no difference.

I never dreamed that you’d be mine
But here we are, we’re here tonight

Cliched love lyrics. Next.

Singing Amen, I, I’m alive
Singing Amen, I, I’m alive

Oh, God no. This is turning into a Christian rock song. Prepare thy selves for preachy pretentiousness from a constipated singer.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died
And I’m singing
Amen I, Amen I, I’m alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I’m alive

A nice sentiment, but that’s not how things work.

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise

I can imagine that your paradise is a very dark one because fireflies alone isn’t enough light.

We’ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Yeah, you’ll show them. You’ll show them that you guys don’t suck at all, that you guys are actually an awesome band with some great music that the world will sing to for years with glee and-HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Please. Not in a million years.

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

……….. I got nothing. Analysis over.

This song is blech. This isn’t the worst song Nickelback has ever made, but it’s a good representation of their catalog as a whole. Uninspired interchangeable instrumentation, hack pretentious lyrics, and a lead singer who sounds like he’s pushing out a turd that’s halfway out. If Everyone Cared seems like Nickelback trying to talk about something different from the same shit they’ve been doing and it failed big time, turning something that’s supposed to be uplifting into pretentiousness. The fact that this band actually became one of the most successful music acts of the 2000s is fucking sad and proves that popularity doesn’t automatically mean good. Next Target Practice, we look at a song from Master P’s son.

Peace!!

SONGS OF THE WEEK

Lazarus-David Bowie (R.I.P.)

X Gon’ Give It To Ya-DMX

Miss Independent-Ne-Yo

Come As You Are-Nirvana

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One thought on “Target Practice: Nickelback “If Everyone Cared”

  1. I used to like Nickelback, but not anymore. There is so much choice out there for music, but I didn’t know about the internet as much then. I’m glad I don’t just listen to the radio for music anymore.
    Speaking of which, could you look at Taylor swift’s new song? I heard it today, and it is the biggest letdown of a song. Taylor is singing about a breakup without being bitter, but the song isn’t detailed enough to explain the situation. Part of the problem is the repetition. Holy crap, is this repetitive. So much potential. So little writing.
    I’m tempted to rewrite the lyrics in a fan project.

    Like

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