Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #20

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Welcome to the 20th edition of Random WTF Lyrics where I riff on ten random bad lyrics from ten random songs. Let’s get started.

Me So Horny-2 Live Crew

I’m amazed that Rap Critic has yet to talk about this song or this group in one of his videos because I think there’s some good material he can get out of it. Oh, well. First dibs.

Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too

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Well, it’s been a while since we’ve had an Unintentionally Gay Rap Moment here in Random WTF Lyrics and boy, does this not disappoint. I have a question about this; how is this possible? How is it possible for this chick to perform a rimjob on a dude while she has her lips wrapped around his penis? Unless she has a tongue like a giraffe, then… *shudders* Let’s move on because that’s imagery I don’t want to have in my mind.

If Ever You’re In My Arms Again-Peabo Bryson

If ever you’re in my arms again
This time I’ll love you much better
If ever you’re in my arms again
This time I’ll hold you forever
This time we’ll never end

… Dude, you might want to chill with that forever crap because you sound like you’re literally going to hold on to this chick and not let her out of your grip until she dies of suffocation. “I will name her George. I will love her and hug her and squeeze her and kiss her.”

Bubble Butt-Major Lazer ft a bunch of people

Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got a

Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt
Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got a

Geez. I wonder what this song is gonna be about.

Killed the ass put it in a hearse
Then I drove off and put it in the dirt

Well… that’s something. I don’t know what to say about 2 Chainz killing a chick that he had sex with and burying her body. Gives new meaning to the term “hit it and quit it.”

I ate the pussy fast, I’m about to start burpin’.
I burp, burp and re-lick the bottom of the surface

Tyga, ladies and gentlemen. Keeping it classy as usual with such family-friendly imagery as burping after cunnilingus.

Put you on a pickle, nibble on my dickle

*screams of squeamish pain*

Afterwards (Bring Your Friends)-Kid Cudi ft Michael Bolton & King Chip

Kid Cudi did a song with Michael Bolton. This. Actually. Happened.

We should go to my home, afterwards, come on
Bring yo friends; we should go to my home, afterwards, come on
We should go to my home, afterwards, come on
Bring yo friends; we should go to my home, afterwards, come on

Bring yo friends
Bring yo friends
Bring yo friends

No. I don’t want to go to your party, Bolton, and I damn sure don’t want to bring my friends along, especially if it’s karaoke night and you plan to butcher another song.

My Humps-The Black Eyed Peas

I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight

Well, I’m never eating Cocoa Puffs again. Thanks a lot, will.i.am. I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done.

(You’re) Having My Baby-Paul Anka

Havin’ my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’
How much you love me
Havin’ my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’
What you’re thinkin’ of me
I can see it, face is glowin’
I can see in your eyes
I’m happy you know it

This is one of the most horrifically mean-spirited, sexist songs of the 1970s and it’s no coincidence that it’s considered to be one of the worst songs of all time by several critics. Just the fact that Paul Anka is declaring to his wife that she’s having HIS baby instead of THEIR baby just reeks of chauvinism. You don’t own the baby for yourself.

You’re the woman I love
And I love what it’s doin’ to ya

Didn’t have to keep it
Wouldn’t put ya through it
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn’t do it
No, you wouldn’t do it

How does anyone, male or female, like this condescending crap? It basically treats the woman like she isn’t a person, made worse by the lines where he says she could’ve had an abortion, but she didn’t. What the fuck is wrong with you, Paul Anka?

Work-Rihanna ft Drake

If you had a twin, I would still choose you

Drake, this is some lame, pandering, boy band shit right here. “If you had a twin, I would still choose you.” Bullshit. You’d screw the both of them and not even realize it.

man: *relieved sigh* Tina, baby. That was some great sex. You were an animal.

woman: I’m not Tina, I’m her sister, Tanya.

man: Aww, shit.

*Tina walks in*

Tina: OH, MY GOD!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SISTER?!

man: I didn’t know, I thought it was you!!

Right Here Waiting-Richard Marx

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Yeah, you just keep on waiting there, buddy. I’m sure she’ll come back.

Still waiting…

Our Love Is Stronger Than A Golden Banana-Donkey Kong Country

Did you know that Nintendo approved of a cartoon based on the Donkey Kong Country games? I tried to watch an episode on YouTube and I couldn’t get through half of it. It was bad. The CG animation was hard to look at since it looked like what happens if Transformers Beast Wars fucked ReBoot, the voice acting was beyond shit, and there’s a bunch of terrible music scattered through like this delightful gem.

I’d shower you with coconut cream pies

Isn’t this supposed to be for a kids’ show? How did THAT get past the censorships? Yeah, I know it probably meant something else and isn’t dirty innuendo, but with that wording, all I can picture is a gorilla doing this in front of us.

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One Call Away-Charlie Puth

Superman got nothing on me

Yeah, whatever you say, Mr. Puth. I’m sure Superman trembles in fear at the sight of your whiteness.

So that was Random WTF Lyrics. No bad lyrics are safe.

Peace!!

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3 thoughts on “Random WTF Lyrics #20

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