Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review

Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: May 2016

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Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I discuss the Top 40 songs on Billboard’s Hot 100. This is going to be a stressful month for me because finals are coming up. Oh, and some unknown Canadian rapper released an album a couple of weeks ago and is pretty much everywhere on the charts, including a new number one single that is pretty much one of the worst things that this rapper has released. Let’s get started.

#40. Still Here-Drake: Well, the wait is finally over. Drake’s newest album is out now, Views. And it was exactly what I expected it to be, a slow, lifeless dreck that pretty much retreads the same grounds covered in previous albums and offers nothing new.  In other words, a waste of time. Yet people will still buy it and like it because it has his name on it. Still Here is pretty much Drake bragging about his accomplishments and how rich he is and I’m already bored. He’s done this crap before and this Xerox copy doesn’t even offer anything witty or clever to make up for its repetitiveness. The beat is generic as fuck and Drake sounds half asleep. Been there, done that. This is album filler at best and frustrating at worst. I give this an F.

#39. One Call Away-Charlie Puth: F

#38. Grammys-Drake ft Future: The overrated duo of the mediocre and the trash returns again for another turdpile that sounds like a reject from their collaboration album with a generic beat and both Drake and Future rapping about the things they always talk about. If you’ve heard WATTBA, you’ve pretty much heard this song. It gets an F.

#37. Don’t Hurt Yourself-Beyonce ft Jack White: In more positive news, Beyonce also released a new album Lemonade. And I can safely say it’s one of the best albums of the year, no debate. And just like with Drake, every song on the entire album charted including this cut with Jack White. I love this song so much. Jack White’s blues-rock instrumentation is amazing with the organ, guitars, and those drums. Meanwhile, Beyonce expresses unfiltered rage in this song as she discovers her man was cheating on her. This song is definitely a highlight of the album and it gets an A from me.

#36. Stitches-Shawn Mendes: F

#35. Exchange-Bryson Tiller: F

#34. Controlla-Drake: Even though I said that Views didn’t offer anything new, that statement isn’t entirely accurate. There were a couple of songs that incorporated Caribbean elements, one of them being Controlla, where Drake fails spectacularly at singing in Jamaican patois about a chick he wants to be in a relationship with. He’s just so unconvincing here that it’s actually funny. And of course, the beat is the best part of the song, but even that isn’t that great since it’s a cheap attempt at dancehall with a Beenie Man sample. This song, along with many others from Views, doesn’t work. I give it a D.

#33. Hype-Drake: .If you want to know how mediocre Views is outside of the singles, then look at the fifth track Hype. This is a by-the-book club song that Drake has made a bunch of times before over a generic trap beat, rapping about all the things he’s rapped about repeatedly while also throwing more jabs at Meek Mill (because THAT hasn’t been ran into the ground), comparing himself to Michael Jackson (HA!!), saying he never runs out of material (Do you even listen to your own music?), and proclaiming Views to be a classic before its release.

*hysterical laughter*

With music like this? No way in Hell. I hope that most of these Drake songs make their way out of the charts quickly because this shit is getting tiring. I give this forgettable dreck an F.

#32. Let It Go-James Bay: C

#31. Close-Justin Timberlite ft Tove Lo: D

#30. Middle-DJ Snake ft Bipolar Sunshine: B

#29. My Boo-Ghost Town DJs: Huh. Didn’t expect to see this song on the charts again. I mean, I don’t mind since it’s a damn good R&B club jam with atmospheric production and great vocals, but still. Nice to see a good song on the charts. What’s that, you say? This song is on the charts because of an Internet meme called The Running Man Challenge where people are doing a stupid dance that looks nothing like the Running Man, thus resulting in another dumbass dance craze that’ll be forgotten before the month ends? *sigh* I hate social media sometimes.I give this song an A.

#28. 6 Inch-Beyonce ft The Weeknd: Here’s another highlight from the Lemonade album, 6 Inch. It’s the ultimate women empowerment song where Beyonce encourages women of any profession (especially those who work at the bar or strip club) to have confidence in their work and flaunt their success with The Weeknd providing the first verse complimenting these women without objectifying them. It works excellently and that instrumentation is awesome with its huge sound. Great song and it’s one of the reasons why Lemonade works as well as it does. I give this an A and I hope it sticks around and becomes a huge hit.

#27. Sorry-Justin Bieber: F

#26. 2 Phones-Kevin Gates: C

#25. Oui-Jeremih: F

#24. Low Life-Future ft The Weeknd: F

#23. Never Forget You-Zara Larsson & MNEK: A

#22. Cake By The Ocean-Diet Maroon 5: F

#21. Pop Style-Drake ft Kanye West: F

#20. H.O.L.Y.-Florida Georgia Line: Florida Georgia Line’s music has evolved from terrible to straight-up mediocre. I’d say that’s an improvement, but it’s not. Anyways, they have a new single and it brings FGL back to their roots of being awful. This is a barf-inducing pop country ballad where the guys sing about a girl who helped them deal with heartbreak. Their vocals are drowned in Auto-Tune and the lyrics use religious imagery for what comes off as unbelievably sleazy, especially that second verse. Oh, and the song’s title is an acronym for High On Loving You. Ick. I give this crap an F.

#19. Formation-Beyonce: For me, this is the only bad song off of Lemonade. I get what Beyonce is doing here, embracing her more ratchet side and her blackness, but it just doesn’t work for me. The production is a mess, but then again, that kinda happens when you have Mike Will Made-It produce your song, and the lyrics are pretty stupid. Yeah, I know it’s probably meant for the clubs, but it’s still bad. Any time I go back to listen to Lemonade, this is the only track I skip (which is an easy thing to do since it’s the last song on the entire album). Not as awful as 7/11, but it’s still pretty bad. I give this an F.

#18. Dangerous Woman-Ariana Grande: A

#17. Me, Myself, And I-G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha: C

#16. Hold Up-Beyonce: This is not one of my favorite songs off of Lemonade, but it’s good enough with its more tropical production and its damn good writing (though I could’ve done without the inclusion of reworking Soulja Boy). In the song, Beyonce clearly loves her man, but she wants to knows if her man is cheating on her, which could drive her insane. Yet she tries to keep her composure if she finds out the truth. Like I said, good song, but not one of my favorites. I give it a B.

#15. Stressed Out-Twenty One Pilots: A

#14. My House-Flo Rida: D

#13. Needed Me-Rihanna: I’ve already talked in detail about this song in my ANTI review two months ago. I’ll give you the short story; it sucks and gets an F. Well at least DJ Mustard got himself another hit after Post To Be, unfortunately.

#12. NØ-Meghan Trainor: F

#11. Sorry-Beyonce: On a surface level, Sorry seems like another one of Beyonce’s attempt at ratchetness, especially with that beat (which I don’t mind, BTW), but it’s much more than that. This is definitely a break up song and Beyonce is finding strength to move on in spite of her sadness. There were much better songs on Lemonade, but this is still pretty great. I give it an A.

#10.  Love Yourself-Justin Bieber: D

#9. This Is What You Came For-Calvin Harris ft Rihanna: The duo that gave us We Found Love and Where Have You Been are back together for This Is What You Came For. The only problem is that the former two songs suck and while this new one is better, it’s not good either. The beat sound like every song that Calvin Harris produced with interchangable synth melodies and percussion from other songs. Rihanna is phoning it in big time with a mediocre vocal performance.What’s the point of a Calvin Harris song in 2016 since they’re just going to be the same crap. I’ll most likely forget about this song after hearing it and good riddance. I give it an F.

#8. Pillowtalk-Zack Snyder: F

#7. Don’t Let Me Down-The Chainsmokers ft Daya: D

#6. Work-Rihanna ft Drake: F

#5. Work From Home-Fifth Harmony ft Ty Dolla $ign: F

#4. I Took A Pill In Ibiza-Mike Posner: A

#3.  7 Years-Lukas Graham: B

#2. Panda-Future’s long lost twin brother: F

#1. One Dance-Drake ft WizKid & Kyla: F

Best

Don’t Hurt Yourself

Honorable Mentions

6 Inch, My Boo

Worst

Hype

Dishonorable Mentions

H.O.L.Y., Grammys

So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of May 10, 2016. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, a Target Practice on one of the worst “country” songs ever.

Peace!!

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