Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #23

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Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I select six bad lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.

7 Years-Lukas Graham

Well, this song has officially worn off on me and it all comes down to the writing. The more I think about this song, the dumber it gets. Here’s a couple of examples to show you what I mean.

Once I was seven years old, my mama told me,
“Go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely.”

Isn’t that pretty much what you’re supposed to do when you hit preschool? Kinda late on that advice, Mom.

By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor
Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure
Once I was eleven years old, my daddy told me,
“Go get yourself a wife or you’ll be lonely.”

Jeez, Pops. Don’t you want to wait until the kid is, like, 25 or 30 before you tell him that? I mean, come on. The kid is eleven years old. At that age, he’d be more concerned with Pokemon and puberty than finding a wife. Then again, he is getting high and drunk at that age, so he probably isn’t listening to the advice.

Eminem-Amityville

Did I ever mentioned that I don’t like Bizarre from D12?

I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother’s throat

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So… that’s how Bizarre greets his male cousins, by giving them an enema with his dick. Add this to the Unintentionally Gay Rap Moments portfolio. Oh, but we’re not done with Bizarre just yet.

Fight Music-D12

You know why my hands are so numb? (No)
Cause my grandmother sucked my dick and I didn’t cum (oh)

Jesus, does everyone in Bizarre’s family fuck each other? They must live in Mississippi or something. Wait…

“You better hide yo grandmama cause I’ll fuck her, too”
“Got your grandma on my dick”

Digital Get Down-NSYNC

GODDAMMIT, NSYNC!! Why do you always put me in a position where I’m constantly making fun of you? You think I want to do this? Urgh, whatever. So what bowl of stupid do you have today?

Digital digital get down just you and me
(You may be) Twenty thousand miles away but I can see ya
And baby baby you can see me
Digital digital get down just what we need
We can get together naturally
(We can) We can get together on the digital screen

Quick question, how are the both of you going to get down when you’re not even in the same room? The only thing I can picture is a guy and his girl Skyping each other and furiously masturbating  while staring at each other like this.

sage

JC: Hey, Justin. Can I borrow your computer? I need to check my email.

Justin: Sure thing.

JC: Uhh, dude? Your computer is sticky and smelly.

Justin: Oh, sorry about that. Had a little digital get down with a fly honey, if you know what I mean.

JC: OH, GROSS, DUDE!! WHERE’S THE HAND SANITIZER?!

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da-The Police

And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

A tip to songwriters: if your song lyrics remind people of a scene in Deliverance, you should probably do some rewriting. All I can hear now is “squeal like a pig.” *cringes*

My Dick-3OH!3

3OH!3 have a song called My Dick. I’m scared.

Every time I look at my dick, I’m like “Holy shit, that’s a big dick”
And every time I look at your dick, I’m like “Holy shit, that’s a small dick”
(Goddamn)
Every time I look at my dick, I’m like “Holy shit, that’s a big dick”
And every time I look at your dick, I’m like “Holy shit, that’s a small dick”
(Goddamn)

Nice to see that they skipped all pretense and just started making dick measuring contests. Let me sum up the song for you: imagine two frat boys with their johnsons out arguing over whose man meat is bigger than the others.

Every morning I wake up and cry
It’s too much dick for one guy

Commence immature snickering in 3… 2…. 1.

*snickering*

So that was Random WTF Lyrics, no bad lyrics are safe.

Peace!!

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