Welcome back to another Hot 100 Top 40 Review where I review the 40 most popular songs on Billboard’s Hot 100. This has not been a good month so far. With the election coming up, the choices for president will either be Hillary Clinton, a liar who changes opinions for pandering and is BFFs with Wall Street, or Donald Trump, a loud-mouthed, bigoted man-child who brings out the worst in people and works to divide instead of unite, instead of Bernie Sanders, who would be a more competent president than these two. There’s also Brock Turner, an empathy-lacking scumbag from Stanford University who, after being found guilty of raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster, is only serving a few months in jail because his family and the judge feel that prison would be too harsh for him in spite of the harsh crime he committed against that poor woman. Let’s not even get into the recent shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando which left 49 people dead and 50 of them injured, plus, the increased discrimination against Islam and its followers because of the identity of the shooter. I pray for the families of the victims and everyone affected by this. Any level of violence, especially one on this scale, is too much. We are at dark times, people. Now let’s move on to something more lighthearted.
#40. Humble And Kind-Tim McGraw: C
#39. 2 Phones-Kevin Gates: C
#38. Exchange-Bryson Tiller: F
#37. Cut It-OT Genasis ft Young Dolph: Anyone remember the CoCo guy from last year? Well, he’s back with another song in the Top 40. Honestly, I’ve kinda softened on CoCo over time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still terrible, but with its incompetence, it’s more hilariously bad than hateful bad. That is a luxury Cut It doesn’t have. It’s just plain shit. It’s every bad modern hip-hop song about selling drugs with an energy-less piano-driven trap beat, plus, OT Genasis and Young Dolph do their worst impersonation of both Migos and 2 Chainz as they go through the checklist of every bad hip-hop cliche. I give this crap an F.
#36. Sorry-Justin Bieber: F
#35. oui-Jeremih: F
#34. Treat You Better-Shawn Mendes: With Bieber growing up to be a boring EDM artist, labels have been rushing Shawn Mendes to take his place as the new pretty white boy catered to teen girls. Mendes’ music has been mediocre at best with Treat You Better being the worst of the bunch. As usual, the reason why this song doesn’t work is in the writing where Shawn is trying to convince a girl to be with him instead of another man without giving any solid reasons why outside of empty promises. Throw in some generic dull production and a weak vocal performance and you have yourself a fail. This song gets an F.
#33. Too Good-Drake ft Rihanna: By now, Drake fatigue is in full effect for me to the point where I can’t get excited for any new releases from him and with most of Views still on the charts, that’s not changing anytime soon. To be fair, Too Good is one of the better songs off of that album, but like a lot of Drake songs, it still has problems up the ass that prevents me from fully enjoying it. The production isn’t that bad, having that tropical flavor that One Dance and Controlla failed to recreate. Rihanna sounds good here, though she’s done better while Drake is just phoning it in, sounding bored as usual and using a fake Caribbean accent again. The writing isn’t that special as both want to treat each other better and feel that they’re too good for one another. While I can tolerate this song overall, I don’t have much use for it. I give it a C.
#32. Let It Go-James Bay: D
#31. Me Too-Meghan Trainor: You know? Meghan Trainor amazes me. Anytime I think she couldn’t stoop any lower, she finds a new way to do so. Enter Me Too, the worst song that Meghan Trainor has ever made. The production is awful, it sounds like a cheap Scream And Shout ripoff, only worse. I’m amazed that will.i.am wasn’t the one producing this. It’s not even music, it’s just a bunch of sound effects thinking it’s music. And we haven’t even got to the lyrics and performance. Meghan Trainor ups the irritation of her vocals that blends in too perfectly with the shitty production as she sings about how much better she is than everyone else. And it’s all done in a condescending way where the listener is actively taunted for playing this. I’m amazed that this woman still has fans. I give this an F. This might make a reappearance in a particular list coming up in December.
#30. Me, Myself, And I-G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha: C
#29. All The Way Up-Fat Joe & Remy Ma: So far, 2016 seems to be the year of hits from the most unlikely people. Mike Posner, Yo Gotti, and now Fat Joe and Remy Ma. You all know them: they’re Terror Squad, the people who made the average-at-best Lean Back song from ten years ago? Anywho, hip-hop in 2016 is boring with nearly every song sounding the fucking same which is why I don’t really mind All The Way Up. Yeah, it’s your typical luxury rap song and I could do without French Montana, who is completely pointless, but I like the production with its horn sample paired with an energetic trap beat. Remy Ma murders this song with her verse and even though I don’t care for Fat Joe, he wasn’t that bad. Initially, I gave the song a D, but now, it’s going ALL THE WAY UP to a low B.
#28. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)-Adele: Something told me that Adele was going to choose this song as the next single and low and behold. To me, this is the weakest song off of 25. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad song, but it has writing and production contributions from Max Martin, whose musical output has been mixed in terms of quality, and this song shows. The folky instrumentation is okay, the singing is okay, and the writing is okay. This wouldn’t be a problem if it was made by anyone other than Adele. She should be better than okay. With her talents and her hit-making abilities, she shouldn’t need to go to Max Martin. *sigh* Again, the song isn’t bad, but Adele has clearly done better. I give it a C.
#27. Close-Justin Timberlite ft Tove Lo: D
#26. Low Life-Future ft The Weeknd: F
#25. Lost Boy-Ruth B: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………….
Huh? What? Oh, sorry, Samuel L. Jackson. It’s just that… well, have you listened to this song? It’s a goddamn song about Peter Pan and it’s one of the most boring 4 minutes of radio fuzz that I’ve ever heard. The instrumentation is the most basic, barebones piano riff that anyone with basic knowledge on music can play. Ruth B has a weak singing voice and the writing is elementary at most. There’s nothing outright bad about it, but I can’t think of one good thing to say about it either. It’s the most useless song on the charts right now, which is saying something. I give it a D.
#24. Controlla-Drake: F
#23. My House-Flo Rida: D
#22. Cake By The Ocean-Diet Maroon 5: F
#21. Stressed Out-Twenty One Pilots: A
#20. Pillowtalk-Zuko: F
#19. Love Yourself-Justin Bieber: F
#18. For Free-DJ Khaled ft Drake: The last time I talked about DJ Khaled was WAY back in 2013 when I had no idea what the hell I was doing with this site. In that time, I reviewed No New Friends (spoilers: it sucked) and even though I could’ve used better presentation, some of the points that I’ve made still stand, mainly that DJ Khaled is the Yamcha of hip-hop A.K.A. fucking useless. He doesn’t produce or rap in any of his songs, he’s just a glorified hypeman yelling his name and some other catchphrases. Now, he has a new song with Drake (because the charts doesn’t have enough Drake on it even though he takes up 1/4th of the spots) and it’s exactly what I expected. What we have here is a generic sex song about banging prostitutes and leave it to Aubrey Graham to make it more uninteresting with his boring performance, plus, lifeless, soulless production. DJ Khaled is basically a non-presence as he says nothing of importance in the beginning and end of the song. Oh, and the song rips off lyrics from Too $hort and Kendrick Lamar. People, listen to Kendrick’s For Free instead, it’s a much better, less frustrating listen than this crap, which, by the way, gets an F.
#17. H.O.L.Y.-Florida Georgia Line: F
#16. Never Forget You-Zara Larsson & MNEK: A
#15. Ride-Twenty One Pilots: I’m so glad to see Twenty One Pilots get another hit, even if it wasn’t Tear In My Heart. Still, Ride is a great song. Its reggae-esque production makes for a great summery feel combined with Joseph Tyler’s improved singing, dealing with insecurities eating inside him. A great song for the summer and I hope it leads to more Twenty One Pilots’ songs becoming hits. I give it an A.
#14. Dangerous Woman-Ariana Grande: A
#13. Cheap Thrills-Sia ft Sean Paul: I wasn’t impressed with Sia’s most recent output in terms of music and Cheap Thrills is a good example of that. Apparently, this song was written for Rihanna to be on ANTI. You can tell. We have an overstuffed, over-mixed tropical beat and Sia doing a Rihanna impersonation. Sean Paul doesn’t help this song at all. I can see why Rihanna said no to this. I give it a D.
#12. Work-Rihanna ft Drake: F
#11. Don’t Mind-Kent Jones: …………………………………
For my full opinion on this song, look forward to this on July 8. For now, all I’ll tell you is that I don’t have nice feelings for it and it’s easily an F.
#10. Just Like Fire-Pink: It’s nice to see Pink back on the charts again. If only if it’s because of a good song instead of this. Just Like Fire was made to promote the sequel to Tim Burton’s godawful live-action Alice In Wonderland remake, Alice Through The Looking Glass. Pairing up this folky acoustic guitar with those hip-hop drums just doesn’t work for this song. Pink sounds out of place in this clusterfuck of of a song. Plus, that rap bridge is just embarrassing. Haven’t you people learned from Shake It Off? Having the singer do a rap bridge in a pop song will always sound awkward and forced and just lame. It screams of old white men in business suits who are desperate to appeal to the youth. If you wanted a rap in your song, get an actual rapper instead. *sigh* This gets a D. Pink, you’re better than this.
#9. Needed Me-Rihanna: F
#8. I Took A Pill In Ibiza-Mike Posner: A
#7. This Is What You Came For-Calvin Harris ft Rihanna: F
#6. 7 Years-Lukas Graham: D
#5. Work From Home-Fifth Harmony ft Ty Dolla $ign: F
#4. Don’t Let Me Down-The Chainsmokers ft Daya: D
#3. Can’t Stop The Feeling-Justin Timberlake: With most of the Top 10/Top 20 flooded with mediocrity, Justin Timberlake himself is a breath of fresh air. Even though Can’t Stop The Feeling is far from his best song and isn’t technically great by his standards, it’s still a good song. Unlike most of the songs on the charts, it’s upbeat, fun, and has a lot of energy, especially in the production. There’s not much in the writing and JT did rely too much on his falsetto, which is why this song is a bit underwhelming. But considering what’s on the charts now, I’ll take it. I give it a B.
#2. Panda-Future’s long-lost twin brother: F
#1. One Dance-Drake ft WizKid & Kyla: F
Can’t Stop The Feeling, All The Way Up
Treat You Better, Cut It
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of June 14, 2016. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top Review. This week, look forward to a Musical Appreciation on Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories and next Friday is the Worst Songs of 2001. Stay safe, everyone, and remember, love will always persevere over hate.