Target Practice

Target Practice: Kent Jones “Don’t Mind”

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So, what’s currently in the Top 20 right now that I can do a Target Practice on?

Ehh…
Ehh…
Meghan Trainor stands with her hands spread far apart while wearing a long, blue dress in front of a shiny blue background.
Already reviewed a Meghan Trainor song. Next.
Ehh…
Ehh…
I would review this song if I understood what the hell this guy was saying.
Nah, I need a break from Aubrey. What else?
………….. *sighs* Fuck it.

Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. My God, the charts suck right now. Yeah, that’s not exactly a new thing to say as ever since its inception, at least 50% of the pop charts consists of straight-up mediocrity. But right now as I’m typing this? These songs are barely giving me enough material to justify a full Target Practice, it’s just radio filler. It’s even worse for hip-hop where the most popular songs consists of Drake, Drake clones, Future, and Future clones. It reaches a point where the songs all blend in to each other to create one long, soulless, drowsy, miserable, melancholic sound that just sucks the life out of everything it touches and leaves an empty shell of what you used to be. Digging for a song to riff on was a chore for me, but I think I found something worth tearing into. It’s today’s Target Practice, coming from Miami rapper and future one-hit wonder Kent Jones, who’s associated with DJ Khaled. That’s pretty much all you need to know about this guy. This is Don’t Mind.

She telling me this
And telling me that
You said once you take me with you, I’ll never go back

So this chick is the Overly Attached Girlfriend.

And here’s your nightmare fuel for the rest of the month.

Now I got a lesson that I want to teach
I’mma show you that where you from don’t matter to me

It’s his penis. Just laying it out there. Don’t misinterpret that last sentence.

She said, “Hola. ¿Cómo estás?” She said, “Konnichiwa.”
She said, “Pardon my French,” I said, “Bonjour, Madame.”
Then she said, “Sak pase,” and I said, “N’ap boule.”
No matter where I go, you know I love ’em all
She said, “Hola. ¿Como estás?” She said, “Konnichiwa.”
She said, “Pardon my French,” I said, “Bonjour, Madame.”
Then she said, “Sak pase,” and I said, “N’ap boule.”
No matter where I go you know I love them all

Wait. So what ethnicity is this chick you’re talking to? Is she Spanish, Japanese, French, WHAT? Or is this idiot just spouting out usual foreign dialogue to show his love of exotic girls? Something tells me it’s the latter. Jeez, this guy and Jason DeDouchehole would be good friends.

African American for sure
I told that baby coming rock a rodeo

Are you sure you got the right race because I’m not sure black women attend rodeos, which mostly consists of white people.

Every time I come around, man, I go for broke
She gives me desktop til I overload

Screenshot (55)

Now, baby, you gon’ go where you supposed to go
‘Cause I ain’t got time for you every day

Well, nice to see that you’re giving this chick her own space.

She said she got a man keep it on the low
I said he don’t speak English, fuck he gon’ say (aye)

Great. Another douchebag trying to steal another man’s girlfriend. And this time, he thinks it’s fine because the boyfriend doesn’t speak English. Fuck he going to say? Well, I’d imagine that this guy would be cursing you out while stomping your face in with his boots.

She from Africa but she fucks me like she Haitian
Ass black, but the eyes looking Asian

And how is that any different from her fucking you like she’s African? Just asking.

I give her the can in Kansas

Screenshot (55)

Sorry. Gotta go for two.

I got it on tape; she on candid camera

So you basically filmed the both of you having sex without her knowing that they’re being filmed. I think there’s a law against that.

OKC I forgot we met in Oklahoma
I use to smoke Regina, she from Arizona
Then I met a girl in Cali I never disowned her

So you’re just naming off girls that you’ve met in the country. Wait, wasn’t this song supposed to be about chicks you’ve met in other countries? Why are you talking about the ones here in the US? It’s like halfway through the song, he forgot the topic of the song.

She got that high grade
Her weed come with diplomas, I want her
But she keep

Dammit, I already used that Nostalgia Critic/Half-Baked gag twice. So you use diplomas for blunts to roll your weed up in. Ladies and gentlemen, our education system at work. And people wonder why some countries think of America as a joke.

This song is an exotic waste of time. The Mustard-esque beat is weak and boring as all hell. The lyrics are this idiot gawking over exotic chicks and display some of the most ridiculous, most cringe-worthy pick-up lines and punchlines I’ve ever heard since Show Me by Kid Ink. The song rips off Barry White’s Practice What You Preach and doesn’t come close to matching White’s coolness or presence, especially when you have a rapper who’s doing the rap-sing thing that everyone is doing right now, is drowned in Auto-Tune, and has nothing new to offer us. You know the charts are bad when vapid crap like this is hitting the Top 10. I just hope things get better through the year, but again, that’s not always guaranteed because who knows what’s on the horizon. Next Target Practice, we look at the newest song from the only female member of the Black Eyed Peas.

Peace!!

SONGS OF THE WEEK

They Don’t Really Care About Us-Michael Jackson

Alright-Kendrick Lamar

What’s Going On-Marvin Gaye

Where Is The Love-The Black Eyed Peas

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