Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where we look at the 40 most popular songs on Billboard’s Hot 100. We’re halfway through 2016 and so far, the year has overall built itself to be pretty meh. Outside of a few shining gems, I don’t see any of these songs being remembered a year later, they’ll be left behind in the forgotten pits of songs that people will look back on 10-20 years later and be like, “This was a hit?” Pardon me if I sound unenthusiastic, but with everything moving at a snail’s pace and the amount of mediocrity, I don’t have much reason to be enthusiastic. Maybe things will get better later on in the year. Let’s get started.
#40. Never Forget You-Zara Larrson & MNEK: A
#39. Broccoli-D.R.A.M. ft Lil Yachty: So some time ago, XXL Magazine released their annual Freshmen list and outside of a few names, they were trash. I mean, come on. Look at the names: Desiigner, Kodak Black? 21 Savage? Lil Dicky? Lil Uzi Vert? Lil Yachty? Are these even real names? What’s with all of these Lil guys? And of course, one of them pops up in this song with D.R.A.M., Broccoli, which is pretty much a weed rap song (what a surprise). This song reminds me so much of Fetty Wap, bad singing and rapping over cheap upbeat production designed to annoy the piss outta me. The Auto-Tune makes the song sound worse. In other words, this song sucks and it gets an F from me.
#38. All The Way Up-Fat Joe & Remy Ma: B
#37. Cake By The Ocean-diet Maroon 5: F
#36. My House-Flo Rida: D
#35. We Don’t Talk Anymore-Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez: You know? For a moment, I forgot about Charlie Puth and can you blame me? His music is so white bread that it eventually becomes forgettable white noise. This time around, we have Puth’s collaboration with Selena Gomez. My God, this song doesn’t work. The instrumentation is very thin and disjointed, especially in the guitar. Puth and Selena have NO chemistry whatsoever as they deal with a break-up. The framing of it doesn’t work as Puth comes off as bitter that the relationship is over and Selena is still thinking about him. I can’t get behind this. I give this song an F.
#34. I Got The Keys-DJ Khaled ft Jay Z & Future: Okay, seriously. When did we as a society decide to make DJ Khaled a thing? The man is a joke who barely does anything yet he’s able to get a bunch of high-profile artists on a song. I Got The Keys is better than For Free, mainly because Jay Z is trying way harder than Drake, but it’s not good, either. The beat is every dark trap song that you’ve heard millions of times in rap and there’s also Future, who’s terrible as usual. I hope this doesn’t stick around because I don’t think I can tolerate two DJ Khaled songs stinking up the airwaves. I give it a D.
#33. Into You-Ariana Grande: Finally. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this song in the Top 40 because it’s great. Into You is the latest single off of Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman album and it’s easily one of the best songs off the album. It pretty much is the successor of Love Me Harder with its energetic upbeat production. Grande herself provides one of her best vocal performances to date. There’s not much to the writing as it’s a simple love song, but the production and vocals make up for it. Easily one of the best pop songs of 2016 and it gets an A from me.
#32. Low Life-Future ft The Weeknd: F
#31. Close-Justin Timberlite ft Tove Lo: D
#30. Love Yourself-Justin Bieber: F
#29. All In My Head (Flex)-Fifth Harmony ft Fetty Wap: Oh, goody. Another single from Shit Harmony. Well, I’ll give All In My Head this: it’s “better” than Work From Home. It’s not good, but it’s at least an improvement. The only good thing about the song is the guitar, which could’ve benefited from an actual good song instead of this 679 ripoff. Everything else from the rest of the production to singing to the writing ranges from mediocre to suck. Oh, and a wild Fetty Wap appears because we don’t have enough of a guy whose voice sounds like a dog orgy. And people like this song. Urgh. I give it an F. Sorry, not sorry.
#28. Sorry-Beyonce: A
#27. Lost Boy-Ruth B: D
#26. Never Be Like You-Flume ft Kai: You know? Something tells me I should like this, Kai’s vocals are pretty good as she tries to figure out what went wrong with her after the end of a relationship, but I can’t and it’s all because of Flume’s instrumentation. It attempts to mix dream-pop with trap drums and a warbling synth line and it results in a clusterfuck. Don’t get me wrong, the song isn’t bad, but the messy instrumentation takes me out of the song and I’m just not a fan of it. Though compared to some of the other songs that’s currently on the charts, I don’t mind it. It gets a C from me.
#25. Stressed Out-Twenty One Pilots: A
#24. Dangerous Woman-Ariana Grande: A
#23. Heathens-Twenty One Pilots: So, is anyone excited for that new Suicide Squad movie that’s coming out in a few weeks?
Wow. Nobody? Jeez, I get that a lot of people didn’t like Batman v Superman, but give DC another chance. I’m sure they’ve learned from their mistakes by now. Anywho, to promote the movie, Warner Bros decided to put together a soundtrack with a bunch of artists, one of them being Twenty One Pilots and their song Heathens. I wish I could like this song, but I can’t. This instrumentation is just dull, the piano and percussion leaves no impact. It’s all build-up to a payoff that never comes. Tyler Joseph’s vocals aren’t any better as they’ve been overmixed and have too much effects on them. The writing isn’t bad, but again, production problems prevent this from being good. If this song is an indicator of Suicide Squad’s overall quality, things aren’t looking good for DC and Warner Bros. I give it a D.
#22. 7 Years-Lukas Graham: D
#21. Work-Rihanna ft Drake: F
#20. Treat You Better-Shawn Mendes: F
#19. Too Good-Drake ft Rihanna: C
#18. Let It Go-James Bay: F
#17. For Free-DJ Khaled ft Drake: F
#16. Controlla-Drake: F
#15. Me Too-Meghan Trainor: F
#14. H.O.L.Y.-Florida Georgia Line: F
#13. I Took A Pill In Ibiza-Mike Posner: A
#12.Work From Home-Fifth Harmony ft Ty Dolla $ign: F
#11. Just Like Fire-Pink: F
#10. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)-Adele: D
#9. Don’t Mind-Kent Jones: F
#8. Panda-Future’s long lost twin brother: F
#7. Needed Me-Rihanna: F
#6. Ride-Twenty One Pilots: A
#5. Don’t Let Me Down-The Chainsmokers ft Daya: D
#4. This Is What You Came For-Calvin Harris ft Rihanna: F
#3. Cheap Thrills-Sia ft Sean Paul: D
#2. Can’t Stop The Feeling-Justin Timberlake: B
#1. One Dance-Drake ft WizKid & Kyla (okay, seriously, can we get a new number one soon because I’m getting tired of seeing this song at the top): F
We Don’t Talk Anymore
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of July 19, 2016. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, a new Target Practice and next week is the arrival of the Worst Songs of 2002 list.