Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where we look at the 40 most popular songs on the US Hot 100. Well, thing are starting to change a bit on the charts, but it’s more of the same crap. So no time to waste, let’s get started.
#40. Hymn For The Weekend-Coldplay: The last album that Coldplay put out was mostly forgettable outside of a couple of songs, including this collaboration with Beyonce, Hymn For The Weekend. I actually like this song even though it’s not perfect. It’s a nice dedication to the one person you love with worldly instrumentation that sounds good, especially in the verses with the piano. Beyonce was underutilized here, she would’ve easily destroyed Chris Martin vocally. Not one of Coldplay’s best songs, but for what it is, it’s good enough. Plus, the SeeB remix is amazing. I give this song a B.
#39. Love Yourself-Justin Bieber: D
#38. Sucker For Pain-a shitload of people: A couple of days ago, Suicide Squad was released in theaters. You’ll see my overall thoughts on the movie in a review on Friday, all I can tell you for now is that the hate for it is undeserved. Anywho, with the movie, we should expect to see more songs from the soundtrack like Sucker For Pain, a collaboration between Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, and X Ambassadors. This song should not work at all and yet surprisingly, it’s better than I expected it to be. The beat is pretty solid, being anchored by that dusty organ in the back. Lil Wayne contributes one of his best performances in years as it sounds like he actually gave a shit about what he’s rapping about, Logic killed it as I expected, Wiz and Ty Dolla $ign were okay, and the hook is effective as well. Not great, but it’s decent. I give it a low B.
#37. Timmy Turner-Future’s long lost twin brother: I would be flabbergasted at how this idiot has another song in the Top 40, but considering how much hip-hop sucks right now, I’m not surprised. When XXL released their annual Freshman list, they had the artists do freestyles and of course, a lot of them sucked, including Desiigner the Future clone, who turned his “freestyle” into a song called Timmy Turner to follow up Panda and like I expected, the song is trash. Everything that sucked about Panda is present here. We have a generic trap beat that switches up near the end of the song to something more epic and gothic, which comes too late and doesn’t do anything to help the song. Desiigner is terrible as usual as he continues ripping off Future and sounding like an annoying, incomprehensible donkey. I hear some people say that this song deals with fame and what one would do for it, but the lyrics are so disjointed and sloppy that trying to find any deep meaning would be pointless. I don’t see this having the same success as Panda because this guy is a gimmick at best, trying to extend his fading 15 minutes of fame. I give this unwanted piece of shit an F.
#36. No Shopping-French Montana ft Drake: Speaking of things that are unwanted, we have ANOTHER song with Drake in the Top 40. *frustrated sigh* And it’s a feature on a French Montana song. Outside of a lame-ass Joe Budden diss from Drake, nothing in this song stands out. Another trap beat with muted synths and bass-heavy drums, verses filled with party rap cliches, and unimpressive performances with Drake not even trying once again and French Montana further proving how incompetent of a rapper he is (seriously, why do people like this guy?). This song is so by-the-numbers, you’re bound to forget about it after hearing it because it blends in with nearly every rap song out there. It gets an F.
#35. Low Life-Future ft The Weeknd: F
#34. 7 Years-Lukas Graham: D
#33. Stressed Out-Twenty One Pilots: A
#32. Gold-Kiiara: Well, this is awful. This is the best example of pop music trying to imitate rap and failing miserably. With Gold, we have this simple minimalist beat that has no energy or punch to it. I don’t like how glitchy the hook is, it doesn’t add any style to the song, it’s just distracting as hell. Kiiara is a boring singer with zero personality, singing about her ex and how cool she is while not being convincing at all. I have no need for this garbage. It gets an F from me.
#31. Work-Rihanna ft Drake: F
#30. I Got The Keys-DJ Khaled ft Jay Z & Future: D
#29. Setting The World On Fire-Kenny Chesney ft Pink: Time for a collaboration that I’m sure wasn’t conceived randomly by pulling names out of a hat. Setting The World On Fire is a duet of Kenny Chesney and ink and it’s the latest single for Chesney’s upcoming album and I don’t care for it. The instrumentation is generic pop country, it’s not bad, but it isn’t anything mind-blowing. Vocally, both Chesney and Pink sound okay (with Pink being the best) as they sing about the times they spent together, getting drunk and doing stuff that people in rural areas do. This is most definitely an okay song and it gets a C from me.
#28. Broccoli-D.R.A.M. ft Lil Yachty: F
#27. I Hate U I Love U-gnash ft Olivia O’Brien: You ever listen to a song and had a feeling that you’ve heard this before? Well, that was me when I heard I Hate U I Love U by gnash and Olivia O’Brien. On paper, there’s nothing wrong with the concept, two people dealing with the aftermath of a relationship ending and having conflicted feelings about each other. That’s fine, but the execution of this concept lets it down big-time in this dreary, sleep-inducing glob with the only instrumentation being piano and bass. Plus, Olivia O’Brien sounds checked-out and gnash sounds WAY too much like Drake and G-Eazy. There is nothing in this song that I want to revisit again. I give it an F.
#26. I Took A Pill In Ibiza-Mike Posner: A
#25. Never Be Like You-Flume ft Kai: C
#24. All In My Head (Flex)-Fifth Harmony ft Fetty Wap: F
#23. H.O.L.Y.-Florida Georgia Line: F
#22. Into You-Ariana Grande: A
#21. Controlla-Drake: D
#20. Too Good-Drake ft Rihanna: C
#19. We Don’t Talk Anymore-Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez: F
#18. Treat You Better-Shawn Mendes: F
#17. Just Like Fire-Pink: D
#16. Work From Home-Fifth Harmony ft Ty Dolla $ign: F
#15. Don’t Mind-Kent Jones: F
#14. Me Too-Meghan Trainor: F
#13. For Free-DJ Khaled ft Drake: F
#12. Panda-Future’s long lost twin brother: F
#11. Heathens-Twenty One Pilots: D
#10. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)-Adele: D
#9. Closer-The Chainsmokers ft Halsey: Let’s do a quick round-up of how I feel about The Chainsmokers’ music: #SELFIE is shit, Roses is godly, and Don’t Let Me Down let me down. How about their newest single Closer? Meh. The production sounds okay for the most part until it gets to that drop. Oh, God, that drop is horrendous. I don’t know which drop is worse, this or the one from Don’t Let Me Down. Unlike their other songs, the guys contribute vocals to the song and they weren’t that great vocally. The last time I talked about Halsey was in my Target Practice of New Americana. She sounds better in Closer, but barely. This song is an attempt at teen romance and it’s so cliched that it’s laughable. Overall, there’s not much that I like about the song and wouldn’t have a problem skipping it, so I give it a D.
#8. Needed Me-Rihanna: F
#7. Ride-Twenty One Pilots: A
#6. Don’t Let Me Down-The Chainsmokers ft Daya: D
#5. Cold Water-Major Lazer ft Justin Bieber & MØ: Out of all of the songs from Major Lazer, I would have love to see Light It Up be a hit. Instead, we have this average collaboration with MØ and Bieber. This song is basically a weaker version of Lean On without DJ Snake. Sure, the guitar sounds good, but it doesn’t mix well with the dancehall drums and synths. MØ barely does anything but a bridge and it’s such a waste. Let me stress that this song isn’t bad, but it’s not great, either. I care so little for it that I’m going to give it a C.
#4. Can’t Stop The Feeling-Justin Timberlake: B
#3. This Is What You Came For-Calvin Harris ft Rihanna: F
#2. One Dance-Drake ft WizKid & Kyla: F
#1. Cheap Thrills-Sia ft Sean Paul: D
Hymn For The Weekend
Sucker For Pain
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of August 9, 2016. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, a Target Practice on Rude and a review of the Suicide Squad movie.