Target Practice

Target Practice: Starship “We Built This City”

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Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Recently, I came across a Wikipedia article called “List of music considered the worst” and looked at the songs section. Some of the songs, like Ice Ice Baby, Achy Breaky Heart, Thong Song, and My Humps have made appearances on some of my Worst Songs lists and there are a couple of more that’ll make my future lists. I am a bit taken back by the placements of songs like True by Spandau Ballet and Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin. I mean, come on. Really? Those songs aren’t great, but they’re practically harmless. Another song that’s on that list is today’s Target Practice from a band that originally spun off from Jefferson Starship and became its own entity. From Starship, this is We Built This City.

WeBuiltThisCity.jpg
Wow *laughs* Talk about bad Photoshop.

We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city on rock and roll

An entire city made out of rock ‘n roll records? That sounds awesome for a moment. When all you hear is rock ‘n roll music 24/7, the citizens will go insane, anarchy ensues, and it’ll be the death of rock n’ roll. There’s a metaphor hidden in there somewhere.

Say you don’t know me or recognize my face
Say you don’t care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

To be fair, Mickey Thomas does look a lot like a lot of other musicians in the 80s.

Image result for we built this city
Must be the hair.

Marconi plays the mambo, listen to the radio
Don’t you remember?
We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll

While I’m sure this song got plenty of airplay in 1985, to say that they’ve “built this city on rock ‘n roll” is a bit off since, despite what they say, this isn’t a rock ‘n roll song. Far from it.

Someone’s always playing corporation games
Who cares, they’re always changing corporation names

Universal Music Group.svg

Warner Music Group 2013 logo.svg

Sony Music logo.png

We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Yeah, that’s right. We just want to dance while listening to cheesy 80s new wave music.

It’s just another Sunday
In a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, oh
Then we just lost the beat

Why does this line feel relevant today? I don’t want to be reminded of our current political climate.

Who counts the money underneath the bar?
Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars?

Anyone who makes a Wrecking Ball reference will be put into a chokehold.

Don’t tell us you need us ’cause we’re the ship of fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools

Seriously, did this song predict the 2016 election? Looks like the Simpsons wasn’t the only one who saw the beginning of the apocalypse.

This song is bad, but would I call it one of the worst songs of all time? Not exactly. Sure, the song is stupid with its poorly-aged hollow production of cheap preset synths and drum machines that would’ve only existed in the 80s, vocals that are discordant and awkward, lyrics that make little to no sense, and enough cheese to feed every single mouse and rat in the United States. Also, for a song about rock n’ roll, it’s the furthest thing from rock ‘n roll ever. It sounds like every cheesy new wave/synthpop song released in the 80s. So why don’t I consider it one of the worst songs of all time? Well, maybe it’s because its biggest crime outside of being a blatant sellout track for Starship is its overwhelming cheesiness. There’s much worse songs out there that offends me on a musical level, a lyrical level, and a moral level. If I ever get to making a Worst Songs list for 1985, We Built This City will most likely be a dishonorable mention at most. The next Target Practice will be up on January of next year and it’ll be on something random. Next week, it’s the Worst Songs of 2006 list.

Peace!!

SONGS OF THE WEEK

Same Love-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft Mary Lambert

Man In The Mirror-Michael Jackson

Rhythm Nation-Janet Jackson

We The People-A Tribe Called Quest

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2 thoughts on “Target Practice: Starship “We Built This City”

  1. Yeah, I just checked that article out, and a lot of the songs that were there I understood why they were there, even the ones I like such as We Built This City. Heck, even with as taken aback I was by seeing Don’t Worry, Be Happy and True, I could maybe understand why they’re there? Maybe? If I squint at them? But there was one song, that I was just all kinds of shocked and confused to see there: who in their right mind considers Sussudio by Phil Collins to be awful, let alone one of the worst songs of all time?

    Like

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