Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #29

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Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I look at six random bad lyrics from six random songs. New year, more bad lyrics to expose. Let’s get started.

Mercy-Shawn Mendes

I’m prepared to sacrifice my life
I would gladly do it twice

Dude, I don’t think that’s possible. Once you’re dead, you’re dead. That’s the end of your life story. The only way you could sacrifice yourself twice is if someone collected all of the Dragon Balls and wished you back to life. Then again, after Treat You Better, I doubt anyone who isn’t a prepubescent girl would do that for you.

U With Me-Drake

On some DMX shit
I group DM my exes
I told ’em they belong to me, that goes on for forever
And I think we just get closer when we’re not together
You tell me that I’m confusin’
More immature than Marques Houston
Cuts too deep for a band-aid solution
We too deep in this thing to never lose me
LOLOL I’m glad you find this shit amusin’

Okay. Just picture the scenario: Drake starts a group DM with all of his exes and he says all of what you see here. Let me remind you that these women probably never met each other until this douchebag brought them together online for his diary confessions. They call him out on his bullshit like any rational person would do. I actually like the last line, “LOLOL I’m glad you find this shit amusing,” because Aubrey thinks that these chicks are laughing with him when they’re actually laughing AT him. And it’s less of a “HAHA, so funny” laugh and more of an awkward laugh when you just want to leave the conversation, but don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Key To The Streets-YNF Lucci ft Migos & Trouble

I’m a flood that bitch with more keys than a piano

Why are you throwing keys at people? Because I’d imagine that would hurt. A lot. Was this what DJ Khaled meant when he says “major key alert?” Or does this involve throwing an actual piano at people? Nice to see that rap music has been influenced by Saturday morning cartoons to the point of borrowing their gags.

A Horse With No Name-America

I’m mostly familiar with this song thanks to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It’s a real mellow song to listen to thanks to the acoustic instrumentation. Because that’s the best music to listen to when you’re on a killing spree. Anywho, when I looked at the lyrics, I uncovered something… dumb.

There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings

How descriptive. Things. I wonder how the songwriting process for this song went.

songwriter: There were plants and birds and rocks and… and. I’m lost. I can’t think of anything else that you would see in a desert. OOH!! I know. How about things? Things are in a desert. Man, songwriting is hard work. Thank God for shortcuts.

Wet-Snoop Dogg

Here’s a gem from 2011 that nearly everyone has forgotten about by now. And for good reason.

Tell me baby are you wet (wet, wet, wet, wet, wet)
I’m gonna get you wet (wet, wet, wet, wet, wet)
Tell tell me baby are you wet (wet, wet, wet, wet, wet)
I just wanna get you wet wet (wet, wet, wet, wet, wet)

Drip, drip, drip, drip, for me mami
Can you drip, drip, drip,
Drip drip, drip, drip for me mami
Can you drip, drip, drip

You like the thought of vaginal lubrication? Well, here’s a song flooded with imagery describing just that. You thought that was bad? How about blatant rape?

Just (The Tip)-Plies ft Jeremih & Ludacris

Girl I don’t mean to be mannish
But something’s on my mind
And I’ve decided
That you should just have it
Promise that it ain’t too much no
I hope that you can understand this
Feeling that’s inside
Put your fears aside
And we can just manage
Promise that it ain’t too much
But just enough
Just a tip
Just a tip
Just a tip
I promise that it ain’t too much
But just enough

Fun fact: this is Brock Turner, Rick Ross, Rich Homie Quan, and Bill Cosby’s favorite song. Why?

We ain’t gotta do nothing
Let me put the head in
Ain’t gon’ move for nothing though
I’m dead serious
How ’bout 2 or 3 pours that’s it
If I don’t make you feel good at first then I quit
Why you tripping move your hand out the way real quick
Why you always laughing he can’t bullshit
If you love me you’ll let me do it I’m just saying
Take them off and pull them to the side stop playing
Tell the truth I make you feel good errytime
It ain’t my fault girl you just be so damn fine
Let me put it in though for the hundredth time
Ain’t gon’ keep on begging ask you for the last time
You don’t even got to do nothing you can just lay there
You don’t have to throw it back or nothing I don’t even care
I don’t even do you like that you don’t play fair ummm
I know you gon’ let me in there

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I…….. I got nothing. I don’t know what to say. This pretty much speaks for itself. This is a fucking rape anthem if I ever heard one. I don’t see how any decent human being would see this kind of behavior and think it’s okay. Ladies, keep an eye on your drinks and don’t accept drinks from strange men.

So that was Random WTF Lyrics. No bad lyrics are safe.

Peace!!

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