Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #30


Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I make fun of five random lyrics from five random songs. GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!! GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!!


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Yep. One of the few things that unites all people regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc., unless you’re one of those people who don’t like tacos. Anywho, yesterday was the 4th year anniversary of my first ever blog post (it’s available to read on this site right now). It’s one of the few old posts that I kept after transferring my content from Blogger to WordPress to remind myself where I started and how far I’ve progressed. 4 goddamn years. To this day, I’m amazed that I’m still doing this. There will come a time when I’m no longer interested in doing these posts, but that time won’t come for a while because there’s so much that needs to be said and done. I don’t wanna drag this post on longer than it needs to, so let’s get started.

Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number-Aaliyah

Age ain’t nothing but a number, throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang,
This loving I have for you it’ll never change

Yeah, and a prison cell is nothing but a room. Did you know that this song was written and produced by R. Kelly? Did you also know that he and Aaliyah used to be married… when she was 15 and he was 27? That is ten levels of “WHAT THE HELL?!”

The Business-Yung Berg

You give me the business
Give me the business
Give me the business
You give me the business
Shawty give me the business
If you know exactly what I wanna do
Then I’m a give the business to you

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The business? Who says something like this in a real-life situation? I’ll tell you who: NOBODY!! This is one of those phrases that results in awkward and confused stares.

man: Yeah, baby. I’m gon’ give you the business tonight.

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“The fuck this nigga just say?”

Hash Pipe-Weezer

The knee-stocking flavor is a favorite treat
Of men that don’t bother with the taste of a teat

Knee-stocking flavor? Of men that don’t bother with the taste of a teat. What sexual adventures have you been on? Apparently, this song and the following one were written when Rivers Cuomo took three shots of tequila and some Ritalin. Kinda hard to tell, is it?

Dope Nose-Weezer

For the times that you wanna go and
Bust rhymes real slow
I’ll appear, slap you on the face, and
Enjoy the show

………… So Rivers is gonna show up to someone rapping and then slap their face for no reason. Something tells me that more than just tequila and Ritalin was involved here. Just imagine Rivers at a rap concert doing this would make for instant hilarity. This is comedy gold for Internet memes.

You Ain’t A Killer-Big Pun

When you awaken, your manhood’ll be taken


Well. The Unintentionally Gay Rap Moments portfolio has yet to be updated since… dear God. #23? Anyways, the Big Pun lyric. Wow. Just wow. Imagine waking up from sleeping to the sight of THIS man…

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…using you as a human blow-up doll. I’d imagine most people would react like this.

So that was Random WTF Lyrics. No bad lyrics are safe.