Target Practice

Target Practice: Mariah Carey “Obsessed”

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Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. What can be said about Mariah Carey? With a voice that can hit notes that few are capable of hitting (without passing out) and 18 number-one hits, placing her second place behind The Beatles for the most number-one singles on the Hot 100, she was at the top of the world. But somewhere along way during the 2000s, Mariah’s career experienced some serious bumps on the road. Yeah, there was The Emancipation Of Mimi, but this is the same decade where she did Glitter, a movie so bad that it’s considered to be one of the worst films of all time. Plus, the quality of her music kinda waned. For goodness sake, her last number-one hit, Touch My Body, was embarrassing. Then there’s the subject of today’s Target Practice. Some quick history: Eminem claimed that he and Mariah used to date for a few months back during her meltdown. Mariah denied this, which didn’t make Marshall happy. They’ve exchanged disses back and forth through song (with Eminem going the harshest), thus, we’ve got tracks like Bagpipes From Baghdad and our Target Practice victim. This is Obsessed.

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So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
Will the real MC please step to the mic?
MC- You need an MC, place to be.
MC the MC.

We get it. Mariah’s initials are M.C. and an MC is referring to a rapper who moves the crowd. You don’t need to shoulder us while explaining the pun.

All up in the blogs, sayin’ we met at the bar,
When I don’t even, know who you are.

You don’t know who Eminem is? What rock have you been living under for the past 18 years?

Sayin’ we up in your house, sayin’ I’m up in your car,
But you in LA, and I’m out at Jermaine’s

You do know he lives in Detroit, right? The only time he’d be at LA would be at someone’s studio or a show.

I’m up in the A, you’re so so lame,
And no one here, even mentions your name

So so lame. Pot calling the kettle black. Also, I’d doubt that Marshall is losing sleep over some Atlanta artist giving him a shout out.

It must be the weed, it must be the E,
Cause you be poppin’ hood, you get it poppin’

Bringing up his issues with drug addiction? That’s a low even for you.

Why you so obsessed with me?
Boy I want to know, lyin’ that you’re sexing me
When everybody knows, it’s clear that you’re upset with me

To be fair, Eminem has mentioned her way too many times on his songs.

Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress,
Last man on the earth, still couldn’t get this

You know? I would criticize the ego-stroking, but considering that this IS Mariah Carey, I’ll let it slide.

You’re delusional, you’re delusional,
Boy you’re losing your mind.
It’s confusing yo, you’re confused you know,
Why you wasting your time?

Ever looked in the mirror lately?

Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex,
Seein’ right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex

Bathing in Windex. Are you calling Eminem a mirror? Because that’s what I got out of this line.

You on your job, you hatin’ hard,
Ain’t goin’ feed you, I’mma let you starve

Considering his career and accomplishments, I’d doubt he’d have a hard time eating.

Graspin’ for air, and I’m ventilation,
You out of breath, hope you ain’t waitin’

Image result for crickets gif

Tellin’ the world how much you miss me,
But we never were, so why you trippin’?

Okay, did you even try to rhyme anything here?

You a mom and pop, I’m a corporation,
I’m the, press conference, you’re a conversation

You’re talking about one of the most successful rappers of all time. He’s not Meek Mill.

Ahhh Ohhhh.
Why you so obsessed with me? (He’s all up in George Foreman).
And boy I want to know, lyin’ that you’re sexing me. (Lying that you’re sexing me.)
When everybody knows, it’s clear that you’re upset with me. (Ay)
Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress, (Ohh)
Last man on the earth, still couldn’t get this.
(Last man on the earth, still couldn’t get this.)
(Fade out)
You’re delusional, you’re delusional, (He’s all up in my George Foreman).
Boy you’re losing your mind. (Mind)
It’s confusing yo, you’re confused you know,
Why you wasting your time? (Mind)
Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex,
Seein’ right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex…

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All up in my George Foreman. As in the grills?

This song is a tabloid piece of “who gives a shit?” One of the worst songs that Mariah has ever done. This entire song is her throwing subliminal shots and disses at Marshall for implying that they used to date. None of the things she said has no impact whatsoever nor is there any weight to them, it’s just her saying “WRONG” for 4 minutes. She takes it a step further with the music video that showcases a stalker that looks nothing like Em. All of the shots she throws are played too vague to where it could be about anyone. I usually don’t care about the “he said, she said” drama that this feud obviously is, but if you’re gonna diss someone, actually diss them. That is something Eminem actually did when he did a response to the track called The Warning where he brutally disses Mariah and then-husband Nick Cannon.

And among all of the things he said about her, Eminem claims to have proof of their relationship in the form of pictures and voicemail. There’s even some audio of a voice that sounds like Mariah. Don’t know about you, but I’m starting to believe Marshall since Mariah has yet to respond to this track. Also, the production is weak as hell with those fake hand claps and dull horns. And why the hell is Mariah using Auto-Tune? You have one of the most powerful, distinctive voices in pop music and someone thought it was a good idea to disregard that and slap some Auto-Tune to the track? *sigh* My Worst Songs of 2009 list is coming up next Friday and this song has a VERY good chance of making it. Where, I won’t tell you. Next Target Practice…

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Peace!!

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One thought on “Target Practice: Mariah Carey “Obsessed”

  1. Not to mention her career never recovered after this song, with only one more minor hit for her in 2013. I really enjoyed practically everything Mariah touched in the 90’s and she’s probably my favorite female artist of all-time, but she just lost it, especially in the late 2000’s. Yeah, the Mimi album was fine, but everything else she did in the decade was underwhelming, especially this song. This was whack. When I first heard this, I was shocked this was by Mariah Carey. She sounded almost unrecognizable. The song is horribly dated, by the way. This was when R&B started to completely suck. It barely sounded like R&B. Even as a diss track, it sucked hard. But when it all comes down to is that she was aging and no longer had the singing chops she did when she was in her 20’s. She had a great run, but this song was not the greatest way to go out on. Anyway, I’m looking forward to the 2009 list. It should definitely be a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

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