Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #33

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Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I select six random bad lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.

Break Up Every Night-The Chainsmokers

She wants to break up every night
Then tries to fuck me back to life

So many questions. What is the correlation here? What does this chick wanting to dump you have to do with her fucking you back to life? How are you dead? Why do you think sex will revive you? Why doesn’t she just dump you and just go? Why is this song so stupid? I can picture Edward from Twilight saying something like this about Bella.

Image result for edward cullen
“She wants to break up every night
Then tries to fuck me back to life”
Image result for bella swan
“Oh, my God. Like, my vampire ex-boyfriend is dead. Maybe I should, like, fuck him back to life.”

Image result for breaking dawn part 2 honeymoon scene

Deja Vu-Katy Perry

Two things: 1) Is it just me or is Katy Perry trying way too hard this year? And 2) future songwriters, we don’t need any more songs called Deja Vu. I think we’ve filled the quota on that.

Yeah, they slither like a centipede

Yeah, that’s an animal that’s known for slithering, centipedes. Just look at this slithering centipede.

Image result for centipede

I know zoology isn’t a requirement for being a pop star, but learning some basic knowledge about these creatures isn’t gonna hurt you, Katy.

My Ding-A-Ling-Chuck Berry

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

This is Chuck Berry and this is his only number-one single in the US.¬†And it’s about his penis.

You know, then mama took me to Sunday school
They tried to teach me the golden rule
Everytime that choir would sing
Watch me playin’ with my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

How sad is it that the highest-charting single from this rock-n-roll icon is a joke song that’s only funny if your were in elementary school.

Peek-A-Boo-Lil Yachty ft Migos

So Lil Yachty just released his debut album and I have yet to listen to it because I have better things to do with my time. From what I’ve heard from other people, it was bad. Even people who like Lil Yachty didn’t like this album. One of the big criticisms of the album is its horrible lyrics, which there is a lot of after one surf through Genius. Let me give you an example.

Uh, uh, play with that pussy like peek-a-boo, uh
Play with that pussy like peek-a-boo, uh
Play with that pussy like peek-a-boo, uh
Play with that pussy like peek-a-boo, uh

Do I even need to explain this one?

She blow that dick like a cello

Image result for cello

The image above is a cello. Try blowing on it and see how stupid you look because you can’t blow on a cello. Now if he had said “blow that dick like a piccolo,” that’d make sense since a piccolo is a wind instrument that you can blow on. But we’re not done with Lil Yachty just yet.

Harley-Lil Yachty

These niggas soft like Life Savers

You ever try chewing on a Life Saver? It’d be a surprise if you don’t end up with broken teeth because those motherfuckers are hard (don’t misinterpret that). Before someone comments, yes, I know that there’s Life Savers Gummies that are chewy, but when most people think Life Savers, they don’t think of a chewy candy. So in essence, Lil Yachty, your punchline backfired.

Boobs-Bellamy Brothers

But your beauty’s so distractin’,
hope it don’t lead to my demise
Can you please tell your boobs
to stop lookin’ at my eyes

Nice to see that bro-country has skipped all of the pretense and are admitting that they’re horny hedonists.

They’re playing crummy rap music,
and there ain’t even a band
Ah, And I wouldn’t even be here,
but you hold my heart in your hands

Hey, Bellamy Brothers. As a rap fan, allow me to say this as kind as I can:

Image result for middle finger
FUCK YOU!!

Yo there, brother, we’re giving’ you a shout
Got the bitches in stitches, and we’re all hangin’ out
Lookin’ good in the hood, tell you what it’s all about

Shoot that rapper, and let the guitar player play

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Image result for fucking white people

And that was Random WTF Lyrics, no bad lyrics are safe.

Peace!!

 

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3 thoughts on “Random WTF Lyrics #33

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