Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I look at the 40 most popular songs in the US. Let’s get started.
#40. When It Rains It Pours-Luke Combs: The latest country song to hit the Top 40 comes from Luke Combs with When It Rains It Pours. I remember being ambivalent towards this song, but now, it’s growing on me. It has some nice country instrumentation that doesn’t feel processed. The writing ain’t bad, either, detailing the string of good luck Luke Combs had after breaking up with his girlfriend. As someone who doesn’t listen to much country music, I think I’m getting better at telling these songs apart and while this song does retread familiar territory, but it does what it’s doing well. I’m giving it a B.
#39. I Fall Apart-Post Malone: I’ve said this before on Twitter a long time ago, but I’m gonna repeat it again: Post Malone is the modern-day Vanilla Ice. Except he has more hits and is probably gonna stick around longer. People must really be desperate to fall asleep if they’re giving this guy hits. I Fall Apart is one of THREE Post Malone songs currently in the Top 40 and it’s the worst one out of them all. This sounds like a rejected song from The Weeknd. A really bad one. Muddy guitars, squeaking sounds, and weak percussion. When he’s not mumbling, Post Malone decided to sing (badly) about his ex after they broke up and sounding extremely bitter about it. Oh, and he also mentions his chains and cars even though he claims to not care for them because rappers are notorious for staying on-topic. It reaches a point where you can’t sympathize with the guy. This song gets an F.
#38. No Promises-Cheat Codes ft Demi Lovato: So Demi Lovato sucks now. That’s tragic, but it’s true. Her newest album is generic schlock tenfold and Sorry Not Sorry is guaranteed a Dishonorable Mention on my upcoming Worst of 2017 list. And it all started with No Promises, a song she did with Cheat Codes. What we were given is a stale tropical house track with an unimpressive drop. Demi did not bring it vocally and the effects put on her voice doesn’t help. If anything, they make them worse. DJ Trevor Dahl also contributes vocals and he sounds just like the current Justin Bieber. Everything that I fear Demi Lovato would do with her next record was in this screeching crap and I’m giving it an F.
#37. Say You Won’t Let Go-James Arthur: D
#36. Location-Khalid: C
#35. Congratulations-Post Malone ft Quavo: F
#34. Perfect-Ed Sheeran: I saw this one coming. See, there’s two types of Ed Sheeran songs: the upbeat songs which are mostly awesome like Don’t and Castle On The Hill and you have the slower songs which have been a mixed bag. Perfect falls right into the “okay” category. The instrumentation combines guitars, organ, and a snap against lush orchestration that wouldn’t sound out of place in a wedding. While Ed Sheeran himself sounds fine, what he’s doing vocally doesn’t go with this type of song well. I would’ve preferred Galway Girl to be the next hit single, but hey. I’m not the guy who chooses the singles. I can tolerate this, though, so I’m giving it a C.
#33. Love Galore-SZA ft Travis Scott: B
#32. Something Just Like This-The Chainsmokers & Coldplay: B
#31. Body Like A Back Road-Sam Hunt: F
#30. XO Tour Life-Lil Uzi Vert: F
#29. Havana-Camila Cabello ft Young Thug: I knew it wasn’t gonna be long before Camila would show up here. Because I wanted to hear her dog whistle voice fail at hitting notes. After Crying In The Club flopped (thank God), her label scrapped that song and had her release two singles: OMG with Quavo and Havana with Young Thug. Joyful. The former song also flopped and people have said that the latter was the better song, some might even say it’s good. Me? I agree with half of that. It is better than OMG, I don’t mind the production and that piano melody. But my issue with this song is the performers. Camila is trying to emulate Rihanna and isn’t convincing while Young Thug is phoning in his verse. Not the worst I’ve heard from both artists, but I don’t need to listen to it again. I give it a D.
#28. What Ifs-Kane Brown ft Lauren Alaina: D
#27. Young Dumb And Broke-Khalid: C
#26. Praying-Kesha: B
#25. What About Us-Pink: D
#24. I Get The Bag-Gucci Mane ft Migos: F
#23. That’s What I Like-Bruno Mars: A
#22. HUMBLE-Kendrick Lamar: A
#21. Wild Thoughts-DJ Khaled ft Rihanna & Bryson Tiller: C
#20. Shape Of You-Ed Sheeran: C
#19. What Lovers Do-Adam Levine ft SZA: C
#18. Slow Hands-Niall Horan: D
#17. There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back-Shawn Mendes: D
#16. Bank Account-21 Savage: D
#15. Attention-Charlie Puth: F
#14. Strip That Down-Liam Payne ft Quavo: F
#13. Too Good At Goodbyes-Sam Smith: Not a lot of acts from 2014 stuck around, did they? When was the last time you heard from Nico & Vinz, MAGIC!, or MTKO? Don’t even get me started on Iggy Azalea. Well, one act has made a comeback, Sam Smith. This is Too Good At Goodbyes, which while I won’t call it his best song, it’s still a pretty good song. The piano and strings of the production balance each other well along with the gospel vocals and drums. Sam’s vocals have picked up more expression and are really amazing. The writing could’ve been better, but it doesn’t take away the good qualities of the song. Nice to see you again, Sam Smith. I give it a B.
#12. Rake It Up-Yo Gotti ft Nicki Minaj: F
#11. Believer-Imagine Dragons: F
#10. Unforgettable-French Montana: D
#9. Despacito-Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee: D
#8. Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato: F
#7. Thunder-Imagine Dragons: Once again, Imagine Dragons disappoint me with mediocrity. This time around, they have Thunder. This is better than Believer, but not by much. The production feels stale, with the snaps and trap percussion that goes along pitch-shifted vocals. For a song called Thunder, I expected some intensity and power, not this weak shit. At least there’s some control with the vocals and not like the screeching sounds of Believer. It’s not terrible, but it ain’t good, either. I give it a D.
#6. Feel It Still-Portugal The Man: A
#5. Look What You Made Me Do-Taylor Swift: F
#4. 1-800-273-8255-Logic ft Alessia Cara & Khalid: B
#3. Mi Gente-J Balvin & Willy William: F (I’m fully aware of the Beyonce remix, but it doesn’t change my mind on the song as a whole)
#2. rockstar-Post Malone ft 21 Savage: Remember when I said earlier that there was three Post Malone songs currently in the Top 40? Well, here’s the other one, rockstar with 21 Savage, a song that doesn’t deserve its title because, like every other Post Malone song, it is weak and boring. I wasn’t expecting a full-out rock song, but with a title like that, I expected at some shredding guitars, not another desaturated tuneless trap beat. Post Malone mumbles on about shooting people, doing drugs, fucking bitches, etc. while the only thing close to a rock star is namedropping Bon Scott and Jim Morrison. 21 Savage does the same thing in his verse. This is pretty much the most boring song in the Top 10 right now and the fact that it came from two of the most boring artists out now isn’t shocking. I give it an F.
#1. Bodak Yellow-Cardi B: D
Too Good At Goodbyes
When It Rains It Pours
I Fall Apart
So those were the Top 40 songs on the billboard Hot 100 as of October 10, 2017. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, I pay tribute to Tom Petty with a Musical Appreciation on Won’t Back Down.