Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review

Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: December 2017

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Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where we look at the 40 most popular songs in the country. The holidays are around the corner, music reviewers are making their best and worst lists (including yours truly), and the new Star Wars movie is this week. Decembers never fail to be eventful. Let’s get started.

#40. That’s What I Like-Bruno Mars: A

#39. End Game-Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran & Future: I looked at who’s featured on this song and dreaded listening to it. There’s no way you could make this collaboration work and, surprise, it doesn’t. Why? Fucking WHY?! The production clashes with itself, trying to be poppy, but then you add trap drums and it messes up the whole vibe, making the song feel cluttered. Taylor Swift attempts to rap on this song and she’s clearly out of her element. It just doesn’t work, especially put against Future and Ed Sheeran, who aren’t any better. It’s hard for me to get invested in her drama (then again, I was never invested in the first place). And if I hear her say “big reputation” one more time, someone is getting punched. This song is a perfect representation of all the things wrong with Reputation and it’s getting an F from me.

#38. The Weekend-SZA: Back with another hit is SZA with The Weekend, which has become the ultimate side chick anthem. Yeah, that’s what the song is about, plus, she wants to spend more time with the dude outside of weekends. SZA plays her role well and she sounds amazing. I love the production and how 90s it sounds. Maybe it’s me wanting to see a resurgence of the 90s R&B sound, but I dig it. Can’t wait to see what else she has to offer. I give The Weekend an A.

#37. Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree-Brenda Lee: B

#36. Attention-Charlie Puth: D

#35. Sky Walker-Miguel ft Travis Scott: Funny that while I wait for Star Wars, I’m gonna be talking about a song called Sky Walker. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Anywho, if there’s anyone who deserves more hits, it Miguel and I’m glad it’s for this song. The song is silly. I mean, “Luke Skywalkin’ on these haters” is kinda corny, but the dude is having so much fun and is so charismatic that I don’t even care, plus, the beat bumps. I wasn’t too crazy about Travis Scott on here, he’s the weakest part of the song. Still, I enjoy it too much and I’m going to give it a B.

#34. Unforgettable-French Montana ft Swae Lee: D

#33. Silence-Marshmello ft Khalid: I’m going to go ahead and say it: Khalid has grown on me a lot. His songs Location and Young Dumb & Broke have grown on me a lot and have potential to be on my Best of 2017 list. Anyways, he’s on a track with EDM producer Marshmello called Silence and his talents shine. He kills the hook of this song and Marshmello’s bright trap production does him justice. The writing also works, wanting to fix a relationship that’s obviously not working and looking for a solution. If Marshmello sticks around with songs like this, I wouldn’t mind. I give this a B.

#32. Despacito-Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee: D

#31. Meant To Be-Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line: There’s a lot of weird collaborations on the charts. Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line? How was that gonna work out? Well, it doesn’t. Florida Georgia Line take up most of the song overshadowing Rexha and neither did a good job vocally. It’s too nasal for my taste. The production is just piano, some guitar, and snapping trap percussion. It’s very plastic. And the lyrics aren’t any better as FGL are trying to get Bebe Rexha to fuck them and she says no. And they don’t back off. This is setting some disturbing implications right now. I’m giving this song an F.

#30. Believer-Imagine Dragons: F

#29. The Way Life Goes-Lil Uzi Vert ft Nicki Minaj: Next up, Lil Uzi Vert talking about an ex-girlfriend again in The Way Life Goes. Admittedly, this is one of Uzi’s better songs, mostly thanks to the beat and this time, it’s about the girl going back to her boyfriend, who Uzi stole from. He’s showing some growth, even if he’s still stuck in the material things and his voice is still grating. This song got a boost thanks to a remix with Nicki Minaj because of course it did. And her contribution was more pointless bragging. *sigh* This song isn’t awful, but it ain’t good, either. He was almost there. I give it a D.

#28. Young Dumb And Broke-Khalid: A

#27. LOVE-Kendrick Lamar ft Zacari: I knew that this song would be released as a single the moment I first heard it. LOVE is the love song from Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN and while it isn’t one of my favorite Kendrick songs, it’s still a damn good song. The atmospheric production sets the right mood along with Zacari’s chorus. In the meanwhile, Kendrick shows his love and compassion to the woman of his life, not just viewing her in a sexual light. Of all of the hip-hop love songs out there, this is one of the better ones and it’s getting an A from me.

#26. How Long-Charlie Puth: Ever since the embarrassment of Marvin Gaye (the song) and Nine Track Mind, it seems like Charlie Puth is trying to make up for it. Attention kinda missed the mark and then came How Long. This might be the best thing he’s ever done because I really like this song. The production has a lot more bounce to it and Puth’s singing has gotten better, though still not great. The writing is a continuation of Attention with Puth admitting he’s kind of an asshole with the chorus in the perspective of the girl. Goes to show that there’s always room for any artist to improve. I give it a B.

#25. Shape Of You-Ed Sheeran: C

#24. Bank Account-21 Savage: D

#23. I Fall Apart-Post Malone: F

#22. Let You Down-NF: I’ve said previously that I don’t listen to Christian music and this rings true about Christian rap. It’s not my thing, though Lecrae is really dope. Check him out if you haven’t. This brings me to another Christian rapper, NF. I first heard of this dude from when Rap Critic reviewed his song Real and I agree with a lot with what he said about that song.. Now NF is 2 spots away from being in the Top 20 thanks to Let You Down, a song written about NF’s troubled relationship with his father. NF does a fine enough job detailing the conflict between the two and has a really good flow. The song isn’t perfect: the production isn’t anything that phenomenal, being piano and string-heavy and the hook is a bit grating, especially when the high-pitched vocals kick in. But for what it is, it’s solid. I give it a B.

#21. Him & I-G-Eazy ft Halsey: G-Eazy and Halsey did a song together. It’s almost the perfect collusion between boring and boring. And they churned out a really dull song in Him & I (great grammar, BTW). It’s a love song in the most boring ways possible. The beat is dull, Halsey sounds half-asleep, and none of G-Eazy’s verses are anything phenomenal. It’s almost like the song was written to be radio filler and that’s exactly what it is. I’m amazed that it charted this high. Not the worst song either of these two made, but I’m bound to forget about it after hearing it. I give it a D.

#20. Wolves-Selena Gomez & Marshmello: B

#19. 1-800-273-8255-Logic ft Alessia Cara & Khalid: B

#18. Mi Gente-J Balvin & Willy William: F

#17. New Rules-Dua Lipa: A

#16. Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato: F

#15. MotorSport-Migos ft Nicki Minaj & Cardi B: F

#14. I Get The Bag-Gucci Mane ft Migos: F

#13. Gummo-6ix9ine: America, can we not do this? Seriously? The first time I saw 6ix9ine was in this meme.

Yes, that’s him.

I thought it was a joke. Come on. Hair that looks like it was dipped in melted Skittles? His weird obsession with the number 69? His rap name? I thought there was no way anyone would look at a guy like this and take him seriously. But I severely underestimated the public and remembered that 2017 is kinda like the world of Alice In Wonderland: expect the unexpected. Now, he has a song in the Top 20 called Gummo and it is dogshit. This song is 2 and a half minutes of this guy shouting in your ears about shooting people, having sex with your girlfriend, counting money, etc, etc. It’s your run-of-the-mill gangsta rap song that isn’t pleasant to listen to. Also, 6ix9ine pled guilty to sexual misconduct with a minor. Yep. Another rapper who happens to be a horrible person in real life and people are making him famous.

I give this song an F.

#12. Feel It Still-Portugal The Man: A

#11. All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey: B

#10. What Lovers Do-Adam Levine ft SZA: C

#9. Bodak Yellow-Cardi B: D

#8. Bad At Love-Halsey: F

#7. No Limit-G-Eazy ft A$AP Rocky & Cardi B: C

#6. Too Good At Goodbyes-Sam Smith: B

#5. Thunder-Imagine Dragons: F

#4. Gucci Gang-Lil Pump: F

#3. Havana-Camila Cabello ft Young Thug: D

#2. rockstar-Post Malone ft 21 Savage: F

#1. Perfect-Ed Sheeran & Beyonce: C

BEST

Love

HONORABLE MENTION

The Weekend

WORST

Gummo

DISHONORABLE MENTION

End Game

So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard hot 100 as of December 12, 2017. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, it’s the Worst Songs of 2017.

Peace!!

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2 thoughts on “Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: December 2017

  1. The Weeknd is a great R&B song. I think it’s a better song from SZA than Love Galore. And I’m glad Miguel has another hit. I really hope that this is a sign that R&B will be going back to its’ soulful roots after over a decade of hip-hop sounding R&B songs that aren’t really R&B songs flooding the genre and making it look bad. We need more authentic stuff and songs that are actually about love, humility and dedication to your partner on the mainstream R&B circuit, not the same “I can steal your girflfriend, I get hoes” bullshit the radio’s been playing for all these years. I don’t know what’s going with Taylor Swift and why she’s going in this direction. When I saw that the song had Future on it, I thought it was a joke. Taylor and trap don’t mix, this is clearly WAY out of her element. And if I have to hear about her fake, non-drama one more time, I’m going to punch something. Also, Taylor rapping is never a good thing. A white girl that specializes in bubblegum pop and country music should never be allowed to rap. Ed is the best thing about the song and can actually really well, but he doesn’t save the song. This music she’s making is giving me reasons to really dislike her as an artist. I really like Khalid, mostly because of how well detailed his songs are and really relate to the youth and overall life experiences. This song with Marshmello is no different. I liked Attention even if the lyrics were kind of bitter, but they still did have a point. I liked the production, but no doubt How Long is his best song. His vocals have improved, as well as the production and I can see myself coming back to this song. I really hope Charlie makes more of these types of songs and never goes back to crap like Marvin Gaye or anything from Nine Track Mind. As a radio single, I like LOVE. a lot more than LOYALTY. While LOYALTY. had better lyrics, LOVE. is more catchy and has really cool production and a nice hook. And a rap song that actually shows love and respect towards the girl as opposed to objectifying her and disrespecting her is always a welcome change. Never thought I’d see NF on the Hot 100, much less the top 30. He’s a big deal in the Christian world (I would know, I’m a Christian myself), and the guy can rap. But the problem is he doesn’t rap much about God or Christian stuff, which almost makes me question if he’s a Christian or not. As far as Let You Down, it’s okay. Nothing mindblowing, but better than what most other mainstream rappers are releasing. I’ve actually enjoy both of G-Eazy’s biggest hits, “Me, Myself and I” and especially “No Limit”, which I like a lot more and it’s probably my favorite “G-Eazy song”. The problem is that he’s outperformed and outshined in both of those songs. G-Eazy is not a bad rapper, but he’s very forgettable. In this new song, he isn’t outshined because the artist he’s collaborating is equally as boring, if not even more so than him. Unfortunately, we’re sadly going to keep getting these rappers that have unwarranted popularity and doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near the charts. Between this guy, Tay-K, Lil’ Pump, YFN Nahmir and others, there’s always gonna be shitty human beings that people make famous for some reason. It’d be one thing if at the least any of these guys had bars, but they all suck, especially this guy. You think Future, Migos and Lil’ Uzi Vert are bad? They’re lyrical masterminds compared to these dudes, who sound like they just learned how to rap on the spot or think that screaming loud like a maniac makes you a good or interesting rapper. And don’t even get me started on the name, and ESPECIALLY the fact that he’s a pedophile. I’m guessing the reason being is because because he looks weird and people seem to gravitate towards that. People give Lil’ Uzi Vert a lot of flack, but he’s at least trying. Plus, he’s improving as evident by his new song and even XO Tour Llif3 had some ambition. And as terrible a human being XXXTentacion is, he can at least rap on his best days. Guys like 6ix9ne don’t deserve to be anywhere near a mike, or on the charts. But since the general public now has more control of what gets popular thanks to streaming, we’re sadly going to be getting more talentless rappers on the charts and more of these types of songs, *sigh*. You didn’t mention it, but Perfect went to #1 because of a Beyonce remix, and while it’s a better Beyonce remix than Mi Gente, it’s still pointless. It almost seems like she is hopping on already popular songs randomly for whatever reason. Neither version of the song it’s bad, but for me it’s just a more boring version of Thinking Out Loud. Inoffensive, but nothing I want to listen to. Overall, good review. I’m definitely going to have several disagreements with you, but I’m really looking forward to your worst list.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the features on End Game since I found it funny that two of the whitest pop stars were collaborating with Future of all people. This is Taylor desperately trying to stay relevant in this hip hop dominated pop scene that hasn’t been kind to other pop stars of her era. Yet I wasn’t surprised how it turned out since Future sounds like he’s being rushed to get back to Taylor and like you said they all don’t work well together. Overall, I thought Reputation was an okay album especially after the disasters of LWYMMD and …Ready for It? but it won’t be one of her well remembered albums and it’s already proved to be polarizing among her fans and critics.
    I just heard about 6ix9ine with Gummo and I’m not listening to any of that stuff so I don’t play a part in helping to get this song higher.
    You forgot to mention about the new Beyoncé duet on Perfect. I didn’t see why it was needed since it was already on its way to number one but I do appreciate the contrast between her loud, strong soulful style to Sheeran’s quieter, rougher style.

    Liked by 1 person

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