Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where we look at the 40 most popular songs in the country. The holidays are around the corner, music reviewers are making their best and worst lists (including yours truly), and the new Star Wars movie is this week. Decembers never fail to be eventful. Let’s get started.
#40. That’s What I Like-Bruno Mars: A
#39. End Game-Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran & Future: I looked at who’s featured on this song and dreaded listening to it. There’s no way you could make this collaboration work and, surprise, it doesn’t. Why? Fucking WHY?! The production clashes with itself, trying to be poppy, but then you add trap drums and it messes up the whole vibe, making the song feel cluttered. Taylor Swift attempts to rap on this song and she’s clearly out of her element. It just doesn’t work, especially put against Future and Ed Sheeran, who aren’t any better. It’s hard for me to get invested in her drama (then again, I was never invested in the first place). And if I hear her say “big reputation” one more time, someone is getting punched. This song is a perfect representation of all the things wrong with Reputation and it’s getting an F from me.
#38. The Weekend-SZA: Back with another hit is SZA with The Weekend, which has become the ultimate side chick anthem. Yeah, that’s what the song is about, plus, she wants to spend more time with the dude outside of weekends. SZA plays her role well and she sounds amazing. I love the production and how 90s it sounds. Maybe it’s me wanting to see a resurgence of the 90s R&B sound, but I dig it. Can’t wait to see what else she has to offer. I give The Weekend an A.
#37. Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree-Brenda Lee: B
#36. Attention-Charlie Puth: D
#35. Sky Walker-Miguel ft Travis Scott: Funny that while I wait for Star Wars, I’m gonna be talking about a song called Sky Walker. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Anywho, if there’s anyone who deserves more hits, it Miguel and I’m glad it’s for this song. The song is silly. I mean, “Luke Skywalkin’ on these haters” is kinda corny, but the dude is having so much fun and is so charismatic that I don’t even care, plus, the beat bumps. I wasn’t too crazy about Travis Scott on here, he’s the weakest part of the song. Still, I enjoy it too much and I’m going to give it a B.
#34. Unforgettable-French Montana ft Swae Lee: D
#33. Silence-Marshmello ft Khalid: I’m going to go ahead and say it: Khalid has grown on me a lot. His songs Location and Young Dumb & Broke have grown on me a lot and have potential to be on my Best of 2017 list. Anyways, he’s on a track with EDM producer Marshmello called Silence and his talents shine. He kills the hook of this song and Marshmello’s bright trap production does him justice. The writing also works, wanting to fix a relationship that’s obviously not working and looking for a solution. If Marshmello sticks around with songs like this, I wouldn’t mind. I give this a B.
#32. Despacito-Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee: D
#31. Meant To Be-Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line: There’s a lot of weird collaborations on the charts. Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line? How was that gonna work out? Well, it doesn’t. Florida Georgia Line take up most of the song overshadowing Rexha and neither did a good job vocally. It’s too nasal for my taste. The production is just piano, some guitar, and snapping trap percussion. It’s very plastic. And the lyrics aren’t any better as FGL are trying to get Bebe Rexha to fuck them and she says no. And they don’t back off. This is setting some disturbing implications right now. I’m giving this song an F.
#30. Believer-Imagine Dragons: F
#29. The Way Life Goes-Lil Uzi Vert ft Nicki Minaj: Next up, Lil Uzi Vert talking about an ex-girlfriend again in The Way Life Goes. Admittedly, this is one of Uzi’s better songs, mostly thanks to the beat and this time, it’s about the girl going back to her boyfriend, who Uzi stole from. He’s showing some growth, even if he’s still stuck in the material things and his voice is still grating. This song got a boost thanks to a remix with Nicki Minaj because of course it did. And her contribution was more pointless bragging. *sigh* This song isn’t awful, but it ain’t good, either. He was almost there. I give it a D.
#28. Young Dumb And Broke-Khalid: A
#27. LOVE-Kendrick Lamar ft Zacari: I knew that this song would be released as a single the moment I first heard it. LOVE is the love song from Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN and while it isn’t one of my favorite Kendrick songs, it’s still a damn good song. The atmospheric production sets the right mood along with Zacari’s chorus. In the meanwhile, Kendrick shows his love and compassion to the woman of his life, not just viewing her in a sexual light. Of all of the hip-hop love songs out there, this is one of the better ones and it’s getting an A from me.
#26. How Long-Charlie Puth: Ever since the embarrassment of Marvin Gaye (the song) and Nine Track Mind, it seems like Charlie Puth is trying to make up for it. Attention kinda missed the mark and then came How Long. This might be the best thing he’s ever done because I really like this song. The production has a lot more bounce to it and Puth’s singing has gotten better, though still not great. The writing is a continuation of Attention with Puth admitting he’s kind of an asshole with the chorus in the perspective of the girl. Goes to show that there’s always room for any artist to improve. I give it a B.
#25. Shape Of You-Ed Sheeran: C
#24. Bank Account-21 Savage: D
#23. I Fall Apart-Post Malone: F
#22. Let You Down-NF: I’ve said previously that I don’t listen to Christian music and this rings true about Christian rap. It’s not my thing, though Lecrae is really dope. Check him out if you haven’t. This brings me to another Christian rapper, NF. I first heard of this dude from when Rap Critic reviewed his song Real and I agree with a lot with what he said about that song.. Now NF is 2 spots away from being in the Top 20 thanks to Let You Down, a song written about NF’s troubled relationship with his father. NF does a fine enough job detailing the conflict between the two and has a really good flow. The song isn’t perfect: the production isn’t anything that phenomenal, being piano and string-heavy and the hook is a bit grating, especially when the high-pitched vocals kick in. But for what it is, it’s solid. I give it a B.
#21. Him & I-G-Eazy ft Halsey: G-Eazy and Halsey did a song together. It’s almost the perfect collusion between boring and boring. And they churned out a really dull song in Him & I (great grammar, BTW). It’s a love song in the most boring ways possible. The beat is dull, Halsey sounds half-asleep, and none of G-Eazy’s verses are anything phenomenal. It’s almost like the song was written to be radio filler and that’s exactly what it is. I’m amazed that it charted this high. Not the worst song either of these two made, but I’m bound to forget about it after hearing it. I give it a D.
#20. Wolves-Selena Gomez & Marshmello: B
#19. 1-800-273-8255-Logic ft Alessia Cara & Khalid: B
#18. Mi Gente-J Balvin & Willy William: F
#17. New Rules-Dua Lipa: A
#16. Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato: F
#15. MotorSport-Migos ft Nicki Minaj & Cardi B: F
#14. I Get The Bag-Gucci Mane ft Migos: F
#13. Gummo-6ix9ine: America, can we not do this? Seriously? The first time I saw 6ix9ine was in this meme.
I thought it was a joke. Come on. Hair that looks like it was dipped in melted Skittles? His weird obsession with the number 69? His rap name? I thought there was no way anyone would look at a guy like this and take him seriously. But I severely underestimated the public and remembered that 2017 is kinda like the world of Alice In Wonderland: expect the unexpected. Now, he has a song in the Top 20 called Gummo and it is dogshit. This song is 2 and a half minutes of this guy shouting in your ears about shooting people, having sex with your girlfriend, counting money, etc, etc. It’s your run-of-the-mill gangsta rap song that isn’t pleasant to listen to. Also, 6ix9ine pled guilty to sexual misconduct with a minor. Yep. Another rapper who happens to be a horrible person in real life and people are making him famous.
I give this song an F.
#12. Feel It Still-Portugal The Man: A
#11. All I Want For Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey: B
#10. What Lovers Do-Adam Levine ft SZA: C
#9. Bodak Yellow-Cardi B: D
#8. Bad At Love-Halsey: F
#7. No Limit-G-Eazy ft A$AP Rocky & Cardi B: C
#6. Too Good At Goodbyes-Sam Smith: B
#5. Thunder-Imagine Dragons: F
#4. Gucci Gang-Lil Pump: F
#3. Havana-Camila Cabello ft Young Thug: D
#2. rockstar-Post Malone ft 21 Savage: F
#1. Perfect-Ed Sheeran & Beyonce: C
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard hot 100 as of December 12, 2017. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, it’s the Worst Songs of 2017.