Welcome back to another Top 40 Review where I look at the 40 most popular songs in the country. It’s January, meaning we still have leftovers from 2017 along with some newer songs that will be future hits. So let’s get started.
#40. Let Me Go-Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso ft Florida Georgia Line & Watt: Hailee Steinfeld: great actress, mediocre pop star. That’s all you need to know. Her latest single is filled with random names who don’t go together and while it isn’t as messy as I expected it to be, it winds up being okay. It’s a typical tropical house song that follows the formula by the tee and every performance was just okay. Like most Hailee Steinfeld songs, I will most likely forget that this song exists, so I’m giving it a C.
#39. Marry Me-Thomas Rhett: Here’s something I never thought I would say: Thomas Rhett made a great song. I’m not even joking. Marry Me is the best song he’s ever made. It’s a slow pop-country jam where Thomas Rhett is feeling sad because the girl he used to love is getting married to someone else. He had his shot, but he missed it, so he’s left in the side drinking his sorrow away. It’s a huge departure from what Thomas Rhett is used to doing and it shows a maturity that’s welcomed. If this song gets big enough, it might be a contender for the best hit of 2018. Let’s make it bigger, America. It deserves it. I give it an A.
#38. That’s What I Like-Bruno Mars: A
#37. Bank Account-21 Savage: D
#36. End Game-Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran & Future: F
#35. Mi Gente-J Balvin & Willy William: F
#34. Despacito-Luis Fonti & Daddy Yankee: D
#33. The Way Life Goes-Lil Uzi Vert: D
#32. River-Eminem ft Ed Sheeran: About a month ago, Eminem released his latest album called Revival and it was BAD. Sloppy mixing and production, subpar bars, Eminem sounding tired and desperate, and underwhelming features. I was so let down by this record that I refused to believe that he made this. Out of 19 tracks, I only liked 5 songs including River and even that song has issues. The production sound like a early-2000s Rob Thomas song and it’s weird seeing Eminem and Ed Sheeran on the same song together. It’s also another toxic relationship song that involves cheating and even an abortion. In spite of these flaws, I thought Ed Sheeran wasn’t that bad and Eminem seemed more focused in spite of lines like this:
Says maybe she’ll be my Gwen Stacy, to spite her man
Ugh. And that wasn’t even the worst line out of the entire album. Even though I’ve been harsh on this song, I don’t mind it that much. I give it a C.
#31. Sky Walker-Miguel ft Travis Scott: B
#30. Believer-Imagine Dragons: F
#29. Plain Jane-A$AP Ferg: Here’s a name I haven’t heard from in a while, A$AP Ferg. He’s associated with the A$AP Mob, which also includes the better known A$AP Rocky. Ferg’s style of rapping is a bit more ridiculous, which makes him more entertaining than other trap rappers. And now, he finally has a hit for himself in Plain Jane, which is alright. It is a typical trap song with a banging beat and the same content we’ve seen with a lot of trap rappers along with some bad punchlines. The most noteworthy thing about the song is how much the beat and cadence takes from Slob On My Knob. Seriously. And there’s also a remix with Nicki Minaj because of fucking course there is. I don’t really care for this song, but compared to most trap songs, it’s fine enough. I’m going to give it a C.
#28. Young Dumb And Broke-Khalid: A
#27. What Lovers Do-Adam Levine ft SZA: C
#26. I Fall Apart-Post Malone: F
#25. I Get The Bag-Gucci Mane ft Migos: F
#24. Wolves-Selena Gomez & Marshmello: B
#23. How Long-Charlie Puth: B
#22. Shape Of You-Ed Sheeran: C
#21. Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato: F
#20. Feel It Still-Portugal The Man: A
#19. Gummo-6ix9ine: F
#18. Meant To Be-Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line: F
#17. Bodak Yellow-Cardi B: D
#16. Him & I-G-Eazy ft Halsey: D
#15. Let You Down-NF: B
#14. Bartier Cardi-Cardi B ft 21 Savage: 2018 looks to be the year of Cardi B. Even though I’m not a fan, it’s impressive to see her rise to fame. I just wish that the music delivered. Her follow up to Bodak Yellow is a collaboration with 21 Savage called Bartier Cardi and it’s kinda weak. This song proves that personality can only take you so far. Over a droning trap beat, there’s a lot of repetitive rhymes, weaker punchlines, and content that isn’t that interesting while 21 Savage is… well, 21 Savage. This song, plus others, will do well and keep the hype going when she inevitably releases an album, but if you expect this song to get me on the Cardi train, you’re gonna be disappointed. I give it an F.
#13. LOVE-Kendrick Lamar ft Zacari: A
#12. Gucci Gang-Lil Pump: F
#11. New Rules-Dua Lipa: A
#10. MotorSport-Migos ft Nicki Minaj & Cardi B: F
#9. Filthy-Justin Timberlake: In about two weeks, Justin Timberlake will release his newest album Man In The Woods. It’d been five years since he last released an album. The first single is called Filthy and from the teasers, it looked to be a country song, which I was fine with. If JT wants to make country music, let him. But that’s not what we got. It starts off promising with a rocking intro until we get a sludgy electro-funk track with a warping dubstep synth straight out of 2012. That shit just kills the whole production and it drags to damn near 5 minutes. Hell, JT himself doesn’t fare better as he proclaims that “haters gon’ say it’s fake” and “this ain’t the clean version.” If this is the clean version, I don’t want to hear the explicit version. This song is garbage, plain and simple, and it’s getting an F.
#8. Too Good At Goodbyes-Sam Smith: B
#7. Bad At Love-Halsey: F
#6. Thunder-Imagine Dragons: F
#5. No Limit-G-Eazy ft A$AP Rocky & Cardi B: C
#4. rockstar-Post Malone ft 21 Savage: F
#3. Finesse-Bruno Mars: A LONG time ago, I predicted that at some point in our nostalgia-obsessed future, New Jack swing was going to make a comeback. Well, if there’s anyone who will be responsible for sparking that fuse, it’s Bruno Mars with Finesse. With a slamming beat, Bruno Mars having the time of his life, and a music video paying tribute to In Living Color (one of the best sketch comedy shows ever), it’s one of the most fun songs on the charts right now. Hell, I didn’t even mind the remix with Cardi B. Her verse added to the early 90s vibe and it’s the best thing she’s ever done. Like everyone else, I enjoy the hell out of this song and I’m going to give it an A.
#2. Havana-Camila Cabello ft Young Thug: D
#1. Perfect-Ed Sheeran: C
So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of January 17, 2018. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review. This week, a double Target Practice on songs from boy band member going solo.