Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. So. Ted Nugent. He’s a wild character. Member of the NRA and very outspoken about gun rights, which has become a hot button topic right now thanks to recent mass shootings. I don’t want to spend too much time on a political debate. I’m somewhere in the middle when it comes to guns. I’m not against guns or people having them for protection or sport, but I am for reasonable regulation that keeps them away from criminals or anyone who isn’t mentally fit to have them. I don’t agree with the extremists of both the left and the right. Let’s switch back to the subject at hand. Politics aside, I don’t really care for Ted Nugent’s music. He is a decent enough guitar player, but none of his songs have much replay value for me. Also, some of his most loathsome traits show up in his music, which brings us to today’s Target Practice. This is Cat Scratch Fever.
Well, I don’t know where they come from but they sure do come
I hope they comin’ for me
Just the kind of guy you want around your daughters, eh, parents?
And I don’t know how they do it but they sure do it good
I hope they’re doin’ it for free
And not like a prostitute or a porn star.
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
Is that code for STDs? Cause if you were to tell me that the guy above has STDs, I wouldn’t doubt you one second.
Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
Either Nugent was molested as a kid (which would explain a lot) or he fucked a cat.
An’ I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more
He was fucking cats. I knew it. Ted Nugent is a furry confirmed. You didn’t hear that from me.
It’s nothin’ dangerous
I feel no pain
I’ve got the choo-choo train
It could also potentially land you in jail for statutory rape.
You know you got it when you, you’re going insane
It makes a grown man cry, cry, oh won’t you make my bed
Or shit yourself to avoid being drafted into war.
Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand
They know they gettin’ it from me
They know just where to go when they need their lovin’ man
They know I’m doin’ it for free
A reminder that VH1 called this the 35th best hard rock song of all time in 2009. To say that there are only 34 hard rock songs that are better is kind of insulting to say the least.
This song is year old kitty litter. Nothing wrong with the song musically, but it’s the writing that’s the issue. It sounds no different from any other sleazy rock song, but this particular one is about boning underage girls. And when you consider the fact that Ted Nugent once signed papers to become the legal guardian of a 17 year old in order to marry her AND the fact that he has a song called Jailbait, it makes the song even more icky. Now we know what Nugent and R. Kelly have in common. Cat Scratch Fever isn’t the worst song I’ve ever heard, but I can’t call it a good one, either. Next Target Practice, I’ll look at a song that’s currently on the charts. Which one, I don’t know. You’ll find out.
SONG OF THE WEEK
Monkey Wrench-Foo Fighters