Worst Songs List

Top 10 List: Worst Songs of 1979

And we’re at the final leg of disco’s reign in 1979. At this point, the genre was so overexposed that a backlash was inevitable (possibly fueled by the rage of rock purists). The climax of it all was in July 12 when during a baseball game, Disco Demolition Night was held where people blew up disco records and a riot ensued. While disco records would still chart a few years afterwards, the genre clearly hit its peak. When the disco hype died down, other genres got a chance to shine. The year as a whole was solid, but it has its share of mediocrity. And we’re gonna count them down today.

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10.

The funny thing about Alice Cooper is that in spite of being known for his over-the top theatrics and style, he’s put out a good number of ballads and a lot of them were not good. We’re going to look at one of those ballads now in How You Gonna See Me Now. The Godfather of Shock Rock gave us a boring love song that’s so schmaltzy that it’s kind of sickening. Cooper’s distinct personality is pretty much nonexistent in this song and the music isn’t doing him any favors either. Come on. This kind of music does not fit the man. When you think Alice Cooper, you think No More Mr. Nice Guy or School’s Out, not this low-rate Wings crap.

9.

Image result for chuck e's in love

For some reason, when I looked at the title to this song, my dumbass thought it was about Chuck E. Cheese falling in love. But it turns out that when Rickie Lee Jones wrote this song, it was inspired by a guy named Chuck E. Weiss who fell in love with… his cousin. Eww. Just… eww. Not what anyone meant when they say “keep it in the family.” Also, the instrumentation is the most boring folky type music ever crafted. This sounds like the music you hear while at the doctor’s waiting room. And is it me or does Rickie Lee sound drunk? I swear, she must have taken a couple of shots before recording this. Either that or her singing is just weak. Yeah, weak is the perfect description for this song.

8.

If this song had a face, I would punch it. The guy you see above is Roger Voudouris, a singer-songwriter who became a one-hit wonder with Get Used To It. You have instrumentation that’s rooted in piano and buzzing synths. It doesn’t even sound that bad. But then you get to the writing and it stinks of pompous arrogance from Roger, who’s metaphorically waving his dick around when tells some chick to get used to him. The way he’s framing the situation makes him sound like one of those entitled douchebags who thinks he should be getting the pussy 24/7. Seems like the public didn’t want to get used to him because this is his only hit song. *shrugs*

7.

Now for some whitewashed pseudo-R&B soft rock, courtesy of Gino Vanelli. I Just Wanna Stop is his biggest hit so far and was a number one hit in his home country Canada. It pretty much fills the checklist of soft rock cliches. Slow instrumentation with electric piano, soft guitar, and some synths? It’s there. A cheesy sax solo? You know it. A charisma and personality-lacking performance from the artist themselves? Most definitely. Saccharine “girl, I love you” lyrics? It wouldn’t be a soft rock song otherwise. It’s nice to know that playing it safe could result in forgettable mediocrity. Just as bad as weak ass soft rock is weak ass R&B, which brings us to the next song.

6.

I just realized something: Ghostbusters will forever be the best thing Ray Parker Jr. has ever done. His other songs, both solo and with Raydio have not been impressive. Take a look at a song like You Can’t Change That. There’s nothing wrong with the instrumentation. It sounds great. That’s the thing with Ray Parker Jr., his biggest strength is production and instrumentation. The problem, however, lies within his writing. Once again, Ray Parker Jr portrays a guy who doesn’t know about boundaries. He says he’s gonna love this girl no matter what and there’s nothing she could do to change that.

There’s nothing you can do or say
I thought about this for many a day
And my mind’s made up to feel this way
And you can’t change that

You can change your telephone number
And you can change your address too
But you can’t stop me from loving you
No, you can’t change that, no, no

You can change the color of your hair
And you can change the clothes you wear
But you’ll never change the way I care
No, you can’t change that

Yyyyyyyeah. How did anyone not look at these lines and realize that they sound way too clingy and stalker-ish. If you’re going by his songs alone, Ray Parker Jr. seems to have a problem communicating with women in general. Then again, a lot of guys are like that.

5.

Andy Gibb is the youngest brother of the Bee Gees. You might remember that he topped 1978’s YE list with Shadow Dancing. Now, he’s on this list for (Our Love) Don’t Throw It All Away. This was a song that the Bee Gees originally recorded for the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, but it didn’t make the cut. So they gave the song to Andy and here we are. This is basically a Bee Gees song, but with all the good parts removed. Andy just doesn’t measure up to his older brothers in the vocal department. Hell, Barry Gibb contributes backing vocals and I would rather listen to him than Andy. The music isn’t exactly doing him any favors as it’s just murky electric keys and strings. The writing is also kinda dumb as it’s another one of those “I can’t live without you” love songs. I know: hyperbole and exaggeration, but it’s still dumb no matter how you frame it. I’ll just stick to the Bee Gees, thank you very much.

4.

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Oh, Linda Ronstadt. What are you doing, sweetie? This is not a good look. So Linda Ronstadt decided to do a cover of Ooh Baby Baby by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles. As you can imagine, trying to cover a song like this is not gonna be easy and Ronstadt clearly wasn’t up for the challenge. She took this great soulful song from the 60s and in an attempt to modernize it (for the time), turned it into this lame smooth jazz record with all the soul sucked out of it like the basketball players from Space Jam who had their talent stolen by the aliens. Seriously, this is the shit you would hear on a smooth jazz station. It’s way too obvious to point out, but Ronstadt is no Smokey Robinson. I buy into him talking about fixing a relationship than her. Not being sexist, just speaking the truth. And I now sound sexist just saying that. Dammit.

3.

With disco being as big as it was, artists from other genres decided to hop on the bandwagon and make a disco song. Even rock artists joined in and the results weren’t great. Mixing 4-on-the-floor beats with rocking guitars should have been easy, but somehow, most of these rock artists can’t get it right. Just look at Rod Stewart and his hit Da Ya Think I’m Sexy. This is more of a disco song than a rock song as nothing about this instrumentation rocks. It’s not even good disco either. The story of the song is a guy meets a girl at a club and they have sex afterwards. Seriously. This feels like Rod Stewart was just keeping up with the times. And to answer his question of “do you think I’m sexy,” well, if I wasn’t a straight male, I would say he’s a 6 at best. Just my opinion. Oh, and Rod Stewart kinda plagiarized parts of this song from Taj Mahal from Brazilian musician Jorge Ben AND he did a remix to this song last year featuring DNCE. I wish I was kidding. Look it up.

2.

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Next up is Robert John, the guy who once did a cover to The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Well, here he is with Sad Eyes. On the surface, it seems like your run-of-the-mill pop ballad that could’ve only existed in the 70s with horribly dated instrumentation and a singer who sounds like he received an hour of kicks to the testicles. But what puts this song on the list is the writing. It all starts with the first verse.

Looks like it’s over, you knew I couldn’t stay
She’s comin’ home today
We had a good thing, I’ll miss your sweet love
Why must you look at me that way?
It’s over

Going by these lines, the implication here is that Robert John is cheating on his girlfriend or wife and since the girlfriend/wife is coming home, he decides to break off his relationship with his side chick. Dude. Fuck you. Fuck your unfaithfulness, fuck your manipulative ways and fuck your fake concerns. You know exactly what you were doing. The fact that you feel more guilt from breaking up with the side chick than cheating on your wife gives me no reason to side with you. I hope your girlfriend/wife finds out what you were doing and leaves your ass. She deserves better.

And now, here are some dishonorable mentions

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

  • Dr. Hook-When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman
  • Olivia Newton-John-A Little More Love
  • Neil Diamond & Barbara Streisand-You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
  • Melissa Manchester-Don’t Cry Out Loud
  • Randy VanWarmer-Just When I Needed You The Most
  • Little River Band-Lady
  • Anne Murray-I Just Fall In Love Again
  • KISS-I Was Made For Lovin’ You
  • Al Stewart-Time Passages
  • Rex Smith-You Take My Breath Away
  • Nigel Olsson-Dancin’ Shoes

And finally, the worst song of 1979 IS……….

drum roll

1.

This can’t be real. It can’t. You mean to tell me that someone made actual ice cream truck music, released it in public, and it reached the Top 3? I’m truly convinced that something was in the water during that time. So what is this song that tops this list? Well, it’s Music Box Dancer and it’s from Frank Mills. This instrumental is just this piano loop repeated throughout the whole song. It’s boring, even when accompanied by strings, bass, and drums, and the fact that it doesn’t change all that much makes for a repetitive piece of background music. This is the sound that’s blared out of every ice cream truck in the neighborhood. Thinking about it, this song would fit perfectly in a horror movie. More specifically, one where there’s a serial killer clown operating an ice cream truck.

Image result for pennywise
“Hiya, kids. Want some ice cream? You’ll float in joy. I guarantee it.”

Great. Now I can’t hear this song without thinking of ice cream and killer clowns. I’m still flabbergasted that the music buying public made actual music box audio a hit. People really enjoy the sounds of lullabies, don’t they? Congratulations to Music Box Dancer for being the worst song of 1979.

So those were the worst songs of 1979. Next month, we conclude BACK TO THE 70s with the 100 Best Songs of the 70s. You don’t wanna miss out.

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Peace!!

SONG OF THE WEEK

Do You Love Me Like You Used To?-Best Coast

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17 thoughts on “Top 10 List: Worst Songs of 1979

  1. Sorry about posting this comment a week later, but I went to stay at a cottage for a week with no internet connection, so I couldn’t type in my comment. Now that I’m back though, here’s what I think:

    Music Box Dancer… If ever there was a soundtrack to a really bad horror B-movie, this song would definitely be it. How this was a hit, I’ll never know. And also, I’ll take the Bee Gees over Andy Gibb any day, especially if this song from him is any indication.

    There’s a reason why Ray Parker Jr. is best remembered for Ghostbusters: His other hits aren’t that good, especially The Other Woman and I Still Can’t Get Over Loving You. You Can’t Change That just reeks of clingy-ness. And as for Sad Eyes, I feel sorry for who the main chick is in this song, living with an unfaithful douche like Robert John. I hope she finds a better guy.

    Of COURSE September was going to be Number 1 on the Best List, and I agree with you wholeheartedly: though I may be white, I can feel the soul just oozing out of my headphones listening to it, and I’ll gladly take this over Taylor Swift’s bland-ass potato salad cover (It’s still one of your funniest tweets ever) any day. Boogie Wonderland is equally as great. Also, Heart Of Glass, Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough, Tragedy and I Will Survive are very good, and also quite memorable.

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  2. With the seventies about over…I guess you may cover the sixties for most of the rest of 2018. Then the fifties would be different since the hot 100 did not come until 1958 and the year end charts only had thirty to fifty places. you already covered a lot of genres since beginning with the worst of 1990 around 2015 from the end of the transistor oldies 1970 to 74 to disco 75 to 79. Yacht rock to new wave, hip hop, hair bands to grunge then post grunge and there is old school hip hop to gangsta rap to trap music and bro country.

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  3. Heavily, heavily disagree with “When You’re In Love With a Beautiful Woman”. Absolutely love the melody to that one.

    “My Life” would have made my worst list. One of my least favorite Joel songs.

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  4. Also, a lot of good that Disco Demolition Night did for rock fans. Yeah, it became popular again, but by the end of the 90’s and by the 2000’s, rock was no longer the force that it was back in the day and now fast-forward to today. The tables have now turned on them since rock is practically irrelevant on the charts. So much for “saving rock music”. Like the old saying goes: “you get what you deserve”. Karma will eventually come back to bite you. I think rock fans are feeling that now.

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  5. Ah yes, ’79, the end of the 70’s. You know, for a decade that’s known primarilty for disco music, it only had a brief period of success that decade. And yet despite all that, disco was extremely overexposed to the point of fatigue. It was already on its’ way out when the Disco Demolition Night event happened. Rock purists who were worried their precious genre was dead wanted disco to go away forever since it was invading their space. By ’79, every radio station was playing disco music ad-nauseum and the top 10 during the first half of that year were mostly disco records. Rock fans felt the music had to go one way or another and they took advantage of that radio deejay’s promotional even to end disco. But it was also partly a racist attack against hispanics, gays and blacks that made the genre popular. I will say this, too much of something it’s not healthy. Anything that’s overexposed it’s gonna face a backlash. But the way these people on that stadium handled it was a disgrace. I saw the clips, that was not pretty. This would never happen today, although there were a few genres that I wouldn’t mind seeing go away for good or sparking some sort of campaign to go away, like mumble or SoundCloud rap. Still, I certainly wouldn’t want another riot over a music genre. I almost felt the same way when the club movement (which is identical to disco expect the music is far worse) but now I realize that’s ridiculous. I don’t think I would’ve wanted to live a world where disco was the only thing that was playing. That said, once disco was gone, it was back to corporate soft rock and boring ballads. The rock did come back a little once it was all over, but it was mostly lame until MTV came along in the early 80’s. This list pretty much sums up a lot of the crap that took the place of disco. I have very little to almost nothing to say about any of these songs since they ellicit minimal response from me, so I’ll make it fast. The dishonorable aren’t so much bad, as they are most of them boring. KISS’ dab at disco was mediocre at worst, but I wouldn’t go far as to say it was the worst song they ever made. What surprises me most about Alice Cooper was the fact that he made a lot of crappy ballads that charted well as opposed to the loud, in-your-face stuff he was known for. I don’t know who’s idea was it to give him those songs, but it was awful. When I saw the title, I thought it was a song made to promote and market Chuck E. Cheese, not a dime-a-dozen folk ballad. I had the same thoughts as you did. Get Used To It made no impact on me whatsoever, it’s no surprise the artist became a one-hit wonder. Honestly, I’ll take Living Inside Myself over this shlock, at least that song had more of a pulse and I could at least groove a little along to it despite it being a generic soft rock song. Also, is it me or do I keep running to a lot of no-name artists that were very successful during the mid-to-late 70’s/early 80’s, but have been completely written out of the history books. Seriously, these artists left little to no lasting impact at all. You Can’t Change That is catchy but the lyrics are terrible. I would say A Woman Needs Loving is a close second when it comes to Ray Parker Jr. songs. At least he’s singing about treating a woman right in a relationship. I don’t think Andy Gibb is all that bad, but he certainly doesn’t hold up to his brothers’ legacy. A shame he died young, but most of his music ranged from meh to okay. That song is just meh. If a white pop artists covers an R&B song that is considered an All-time classic, it’s most likely gonna suck. This was no different. I don’t hate Do You Think I’m Sexy. It’s catchy, but this was way out of Rod Stewart’s element. I was never big on his music, but this is not the type of stuff he’s known for. But at least he could pull off sexiness a whole lot more than LMFAO ever did. But rock artists performing disco songs is just another big example of why disco was very overexposed in the late 70’s and had to go. Robert John is already a bad singer. This song doesn’t do him any favors at all. And his cover of The Lion Sleeps Tonight sucked hard. Music Box Dancer wasn’t the worst song on this list, but it was definitely forgettable. I thought we got rid of instrumentals in the early 70’s. Either way, this is harmless, nothing for me to get upset about. But I could do without this song. Overall, the 70’s were not as great as people made it out to be. There were a lot of classic records (like all the songs you put on your best list), but there was WAY too many easy listening songs, corporate ballads, crappy novelty songs and just a lot of forgettable nonsense. A lot of the disco, R&B, funk and classic rock was good, though, along with country music. But still, I’ll stick with the 80’s and 90’s. I think the next two decades significantly improved on this one. The 70’s as a whole were overrated. Still better than a lot of what gets played on the radio today, but not anywhere near as good as people make it out to be. Looking forward to the “Top 100 Best” list.

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    1. You mean his representatives threatening to pull his music from Spotify following their new policy on not putting artists like XXX on playlists? Disappointing. Also, people need to read beyond the headlines when it comes to articles.

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      1. No, I’m talking about that concert where a fan said the N word on the stage and Kendrick stopped the music and asked sarcastically “Am I not cool enough for you?”. Many people accused him of being illogical, and he even lost a few fans because of this.

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      2. Oh, that. It’s a nonissue. White people shouldn’t say the N-word, plain and simple. The crowd knew it and they booed her off.

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  6. 1979, the end of the 70s and the year of Disco Demolition. Like with 1978, I found 1979 a year full of good music but wouldn’t call it a good year for music mostly due to the overexposure of disco and its backlash that led to artists scrambling to adjust to the radical change. The charts in the last half of 79 and 1980 are a stark difference to the last year and a half before with a lot less disco. The more I learn about the disco era, the more I understand why people really got sick of it in 79 with all of the overexposure it got in the media and the public to the point where disco wasn’t being taken seriously anymore as a musical genre. I still like disco music but learning about all this makes me glad I wasn’t around then having all of this music being shoved down my throat on the radio and in public. Goes to show that some things are better to be enjoyed after their popularity when its not all around us anymore. At the same time, I think the whole Disco Demolition Night and record burnings was ridiculous with a lot of homophobic, racist, and sexist implications considering the rock people who were rioting against disco and the people who made disco popular. Also continuing from 1978, my mom actually went to the disco featured in Saturday Night Fever in Brooklyn and not Studio 54. I was talking to her about it recently and she told me that she along with my dad and their friends went there right when the movie was big and sat in the tables where the guys sit in the movie so you can imagine how exciting it must have been.

    How You Gonna See Me Now- dull and really disappointing coming from Alice Cooper. I expect to hear fun shock rock from this guy not this sappy soft rock schlock.
    Chuck E’s In Love- boring
    Get Used To It- Agree with your take. This song makes me want to slap this guy to make him understand he’s not entitled to any girl he dates.
    I Just Wanna Stop- your checklist pretty much sums up my feelings about this song in that it’s just another sappy soft rock song that doesn’t do anything to stand out from all the others.
    You Can’t Change That- aside from the nice instrumentation and singing, the song gives off very creepy vibes. Ray Parker Jr. was probably at his best when he wasn’t doing relationship songs which is why Ghostbusters worked for him.
    (Our Love) Don’t Throw It All Away- meh and I’d rather listen to Andy’s brothers
    Ooh Ooh Baby- very weak cover like all the others you listed. I can do without it.
    Da Ya Think I’m Sexy- Knew this would be on the list. Like with Chicago, I can see why my family only play Rod Stewart’s earlier blues/folk rock material instead of this or anything later cause this is hilariously bad. As a fan of both rock and disco, I don’t mind rock artists incorporating dance/disco elements into their music and I do like a few of these songs but not this mostly cause Rod Stewart’s vocals don’t fit at all with disco music and its attempt at a rock/disco fusion sucks hard. Disco and dance songs require someone with smooth and seductive vocals not someone with a voice as raspy and rough as Stewart’s. I know people like to make fun of Rod Stewart but when you listen to his earlier songs like Maggie May, Reason to Believe, You Wear It Well, Every Picture Tells A Story, or his songs with The Faces like Stay With Me, it’s clear his voice was better suited for hard rock, blues, folk, and soul and not smooth romantic love songs or disco. While I understand Rod Stewart’s voice may not be for everyone, those songs work for him because they require a vocalist who can give it their all and have more grit and soul in their singing. But like other artists with unique sounds, they eventually have to sacrifice it once they get popular in the mainstream. My attitude towards Da Ya Think I’m Sexy is the same I have towards Wiggle by Jason Derulo in that I can’t help but enjoy it for how bad it is and laugh along with it. Come on, a guy with a look and voice like Rod Stewart trying to pass himself off as a sex god is very laughable. This is as laughable as when Ed Sheeran tried doing this on Shape of You. Though one of my dad’s friends told me recently that women really loved Rod Stewart back then so between him and Ed Sheeran I guess there will always be a market of sexually unattractive male artists for girls to go crazy over. As much as I don’t like to hate on artists for changing their style, sometimes it’s best to stick with what you’re good at.
    Sad Eyes- Robert John’s falsetto towards the end really grates on my nerves but other than that it’s just another sappy love song of the time.
    Music Box Dancer- reminds me of all the ice cream trucks that have gone through my neighborhood in the last couple days. It doesn’t really creep me out as it does for you and I wouldn’t put it as my worst song mostly cause it’s just a boring instrumental that doesn’t provoke much of a reaction from me.

    Agree with your dishonorable mentions except for I Just Fall in Love Again and I Was Made For Lovin You. I Just Fall in Love Again always reminds me of Family Guy when Stewie falls in love with Anne Murray’s music and I also find it relaxing. I Was Made For Lovin You is so catchy and fun to sing along with.

    Agree with a lot of your best songs list. 1979 gave us a lot of memorable songs people still listen to especially with the disco songs. I hear songs like September, Le Freak, Good Times, Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough, Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground), Y.M.C.A., We Are Family, at almost every party, wedding, and dance I’ve been to. September is just a blast to listen to. Screw the Taylor Swift cover! I saw Cheap Trick along with Peter Frampton in concert with my family a few years ago on Long Island and they still sound great after all these years performing their songs like I Want You To Want Me which rocks so much. I didn’t get to comment on your 80s lists but Michael Jackson’s music has meant a lot more to me than most people since he died on my 10th birthday. I remember a little of the coverage over his death but I especially remember people noting my birthday was the day he died so I’ve been used to loving with that fact. I agree with Billie Jean being your best song of the 80s which was played at my parents wedding in 1984. My parents are around the same age as MJ so my mom tells me how she remembers Michael from the very beginning watching him on TV in The Jackson 5 and hearing their songs as a kid. I’m also getting tired of how when people talk about how great MJ’s music was, they mostly list his music from Thriller and Bad, and the Jackson 5, and not songs from Off The Wall or Dangerous. I had a discussion with friends recently about their favorite MJ songs and they listed all the obvious choices like Beat It, Smooth Criminal, Billie Jean, and Thriller. From listening to Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough, Rock With You, Off The Wall, and Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground) I wish people would list those songs on their list or explore them more cause they are so fun to listen and dance to and helped to pave the way for MJ to maintain success as an adult artist. My Sharona is a killer rock jam with the catchy riff, vocals, and especially those guitar solos. My Sharona is often cited as the song that killed disco when it replaced Good Times at number one and became the number one song of 1979 with the music industry rallying around this song as paving the way for the future of music. The rest of the songs are all great and still enjoy listening to and hear at dances, from my family, and on 70s and rock stations like the songs on the other lists. I’ve also been learning to play a lot of these disco songs like September, Good Times, Le Freak, Shake That Groove Thing, and Da Ya Think I’m Sexy on guitar and bass now and it’s been very fun to learn and master all the funky grooves those people play. Disco itself has really interested me in how quick the phenomenon was. In just a few short years it went from being praised to being loathed. I also like disco for how its purpose aside from dancing was to bring people of different backgrounds together along with the culture and lifestyle.

    I enjoyed this musical adventure exploring the worst songs of one of my favorite decades in music. Your lists made me discover a lot of songs I never knew about for good reason and realize that music from the past isn’t as golden as it is made out to be. These lists have also given me a lot of interesting conversations with my family on how they remember a lot of these songs back then. Can’t wait for your best lists of the 70s!

    What are your opinions on the following songs?
    Bad Girls by Donna Summer
    Le Freak by CHIC
    Y.M.C.A by The Village People
    Ring My Bell by Anita Ward (surprised this didn’t make the worst list)
    Too Much Heaven by Bee Gees
    Love You Inside Out by Bee Gees
    He’s The Greatest Dancer by Sister Sledge (song sampled in Gettin Jiggy Wit It)
    Rock n Roll Fantasy by Bad Company
    New York Groove by Ace Frehly
    Shine a Little Love by ELO
    Bad Case of Lovin You by Robert Palmer

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      1. Oh yeah I remember when Rod Stewart did that Da Ya Think I’m Sexy remix with DNCE since they premiered it during the MTV VMAs and as much as I don’t like the original, at least it’s not this. And the chorus does sound a lot like that Taj Mahal song but whether he plagiarized it or not, there are so many notes, chords, and progressions that are commonly used in music that there’s bound to be songs that sound similar to each other whether it’s done intentionally or not.

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  7. Only disagreement here is I Was Made For Lovin’ You. Honestly, I never understood the hate that song receives and, hell, I even like it more than Rock ‘n’ Roll All Nite, if I’m being perfectly honest. Other than that, great list as usual.

    Anomalies:

    Worst:

    Ian Matthews – Shake It

    Best:

    The Village People – YMCA
    Alicia Bridges – I Love The Nightlife (Disco ‘Round)

    I’m also curious to know your thoughts on Lotta Love by Nicolette Larson, In The Navy by The Village People, Makin’ It by David Naughton, and Ring My Bell by Anita Ward.

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