Welcome back to another Top 40 Review, where we look at some of the biggest songs in the US Hot 100. After some thinking and looking at the feedback from the last Top 40 Review, I made a decision to go forward with this new format because I like the way it looks, it saves me time, and some change needed to happen. To those who liked the old format, sorry. Anyways, let’s get started.
#40. Youngblood-5 Seconds Of Summer: Well, here’s a name I completely forgot about, 5 Seconds Of Summer. You know, that pop rock boy band who was famous for, like, one year. Well, they have put out a new album about a month ago and this is their new single Youngblood. This song is more pop than rock with the guitars being extra muted and put behind the track. The vocals aren’t that great and the writing is just another generic love song. This sounds like every modern pop song that’s out now and it’s not that good. I give it an F.
#38. Emotionless-Drake: So by this point, I’ve long accepted that Drake is just gonna release an overstuffed mediocre project every year and the public will consume it en masse because Drake is a brand by this point like Jordans or Yeezys. This year’s overstuffed mediocre project is the stingless double album Scorpion, which has 25 tracks in total. These projects seem to get longer every year. Anyways, Emotionless, a title that perfectly describes how I felt listening to the whole album. That Mariah Carey sample is pretty decent, but aside from that, it’s more of Aubrey being an asshole, being condescending to girls who use Instagram (with fanboys acting like it’s the deepest shit they’ve ever heard when anyone with a brain has heard this kind of statement a million times before), taking shots at Kanye for no reason, and saying this about his child:
I wasn’t hidin’ my kid from the world
I was hidin’ the world from my kid
I give this a D.
#37. Simple-Florida Georgia Line: Another month, another Florida Georgia Line song on the charts. This, we have Simple. I’ll give it this: it’s one of their better songs. The sound is much more folky and rootsy and it comes with whistles as well. The lyrics are kinda goofy as it’s about the simpler things in life. All and all, I don’t mind this, even if there are better country artists who do this sound better. I give it a C.
#35. Get Along-Kenny Chesney: Kenny Chesney is probably one of the more safer country artists out there since a lot of his songs are passable at best, but not memorable either. His latest single is Get Along and I think this kinda decent. It has a nice groove with the way the banjo and acoustic guitar play off each other and the writing, revolving on people getting along, isn’t bad, either, even if it is corny and predictable. I give it a low B.
#34. Moonlight-XXXTENTACION: Oh, boy. So a month ago, XXX was shot and killed in a robbery. All I gotta say is that setting aside his real life issues, it’s unfortunate that another young brother is gone from pointless street violence. I’m just gonna leave it at that and talk about Moonlight. The Academy Award-winning film that deals with themes of insecurity and masculinity and shows what it’s like to grow up in a community that doesn’t accept who you are because of who you love. What’s that? I’m supposed to talk about the song and not the movie? Fine. The beat sounds incredibly cheap and sloppy, the chorus is way too long, and the content is nothing but flexing, killing people, and XXX yearning about the girl who left. Yyyyyyyyeah, I don’t think I need to say anything else. This gets an F from me.
#33. I Like Me Better-Lauv: This is one of those songs that I forgot exists. This is I Like Me Better by Lauv. The production is kind of a mess with those guitars, snaps, and whatever that screeching noise is during the drop. It sounds like someone playing the violin poorly. Lauv isn’t that interesting of a singer. The writing isn’t that bad, though, with him feeling more confident in a relationship. Overall, the song isn’t bad, but it falls short and leaves a lot to be desired. I give it a D.
#30. APESHIT-The Carters: So Beyonce and Jay Z released a surprise collaboration album called Everything Is Love. It’s alright, but not as good as Lemonade or 4:44. The big hit from that album is APESHIT, which is basically a Migos song thanks to the Pharrell production and ad-libs from Quavo and Offset. Honestly, I would listen to this over most Migos songs because Beyonce is just having a ball, even if she is just flexing and her rapping isn’t that good. Jay Z was cool, even if it does feel like he’s cramming too many words at some point. Overall, APESHIT has problems, but I’m just drawn to its energy and production. I just like it. I give it a B.
#28. Mob Ties-Drake: Well, Mob Ties is one of the better songs from Scorpion, even if it’s just okay. I dig this beat even in spite of Drake’s weird vocal inflections and him taking more shots at Kanye while hiding behind J. Prince. It’s a passable track, which is better than what I would say about most of Scorpion. I give it a C.
#25. Love Lies-Khalid & Normani: This song has been on the charts for a good while and I’m glad I can finally comment on it because this is really damn good. This track is a collaboration between Khalid and Normani of Fifth Harmony fame and these two have really good chemistry. And I dig this rubbery midtempo R&B production. Love Lies is a good song. I give it an A.
#24. Tequila-Dan + Shay: So I’m not exactly a Dan + Shay fan. I don’t know, their brand of pop country doesn’t do it for me even though they are better than certain “country” artists. Anyways, this is their big hit Tequila and it’s alright. The production is alright with the piano and acoustic guitars, though I don’t know why they used drum machines for this song. The content is also okay, reminiscing on an old lover. This is not one of those songs that I’ll be revisiting anytime soon, it’s just okay. I give it a C.
#21. Don’t Matter To Me-Drake: Ladies and gentlemen, not only is this one of the worst cases of grave robbery, but it’s also one of the worst uses of Michael Jackson ever since that Xscape album. Setting aside the fact that it’s used for yet another concern trolling track, the way they mixed Michael’s vocals is just awful. It sounds less like Michael and more like The Weeknd doing a Michael impersonation. Isn’t Drake cool with The Weeknd? Couldn’t he get him on this song? The only reason this exists is so that Aubrey can say, “LOOK HOW GREAT I AM. I GOT A SONG WITH THE KING OF POP.” Ugh. The Jackson estate really needs to stop handing out these unreleased Paul Anka sessions like hot cakes because Michael deserves better than this. This is an easy F for me.
#18. Taste-Tyga ft Offset: You know, I thought the public in general has made it clear that we were gonna leave Tyga behind back in 2015 because of how much of a creep he is. Going by this song, apparently not. Here’s Taste. It’s more bragging and naming off brands with unimpressive rapping from both Tyga and Offset (the latter probably the only reason this song is even here in the first place). The beat is probably the best part of the song, but it does nothing to make this song good. It’s getting an F from me.
#11. Nonstop-Drake: Barebones trap production and more bragging makes up the track Nonstop and there’s nothing else to it. It’s just album filler. We keep having this same conversation every year, but this overexposure is gonna hurt Drake in the long run. He’s still gonna sell records, but he’s at a creative plateau and the fact that he’s putting out too many songs at a quicker rate is going to hurt whatever legacy he’s gonna leave behind. No one stays at the top forever. I give this a low D.
#1. In My Feelings-Drake: It’s only been a few weeks and I’m already tired of this damn song. And of course, it got boosted by a viral dance challenge. Goody. In My Feelings is a cheaply produced and mixed slog with too many chopped-up vocal samples to fill up time, an uncredited feature from Miami duo City Girls, and an audio clip from the TV show Atlanta for an outro. Meanwhile, Aubrey is being a creepy asshole while concern trolling a girl named Keke. Whoever this Keke is, I bet she hates his guts now because she’s gonna have random dudes sing this song to her and she might end up punching someone for it. I wouldn’t blame her because this shit blows. I give it an F.
APESHIT, Get Along
Don’t Matter To Me
In My Feelings, Moonlight
And that was another Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review. Stay tuned next month when I do another. This week, a Target Practice on Break Up by Mario.