Worst Songs List

Top 10 List: Worst Songs of 1964

Well, we’re finally here. The first good year of the 60s. The British Invasion has finally taken over the US charts with acts like the Animals, Dave Clark Five, and others injecting some new life into the music scene. And a little British group called the Beatles became the biggest band of all time, scoring nonstop hits throughout the rest of the decade. Not only did they have the number one song of 1964, but they notched a total of eight songs on that Year End list. Don’t count the U.S. out, though, because there was also surf rock, folk, and R&B/soul (especially from Motown). I enjoyed 1964 as a whole, but as much as I want to talk about the good stuff, that’s not the topic of this post. So let’s look at the worst that 1964 had to offer.

1964

10.

Image result for don't let the sun catch you crying

Because it’s still the 60s, we start off with some boring shit courtesy of Gerry & The Pacemakers with Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Cryin’. This song needed a pacemaker because the whole thing sounds dead on arrival. The instrumentation is the only somewhat interesting thing about it, but even then, it’s nothing to write home about. Now let’s talk about the writing, the worst part of the song. It’s a post-break-up song that tries to be more optimistic about the days ahead, which in itself is not a bad message, but it assumes too much about the person at hand. People deal with heartbreak in different ways, some just need more time. It’s not like they’ll get over it in the next day. This is a really sub-par song overall. Let’s move on.

9.

Here’s where it all started for ol’ Barbra Streisand. People is a song that was written for the Broadway musical Funny Girl, which Streisand also starred in. I know very little about the musical itself, so I’m going to comment on this song in its own. Barbra Streisand is a good singer, but it’s not enough to make me like this song since it’s a bore. It utilizes lightweight orchestral instrumentation that a lot of boring oldies used back then, with more emphasis on the strings and flutes. The writing gives us a vague love song about people who need people. How profound. And this would be the start of a long, but mostly-underwhelming career for Streisand.

8.

Image result for today new christy minstrels

From a song made for a musical to a song made for a film, Today was made for the film Advance To The Rear-*snickers* I apologize. That name is just funny to me. Anyways, this song comes from The New Christy Minstrels, who named themselves after an actual minstrel group. Seriously, you guys couldn’t come up with a better name? I apologize again for getting distracted. The song itself sounds like the 50s refusing to die. The acoustic guitar-led instrumentation and the harmonies all scream “I want the 50s back.” As for the writing?

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away

Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today

A fucking joke. Get this crap out of here.

7.

Something else you might notice during this time period is the popularity of girl groups. They weren’t just exclusive to the 90s. They’ve always been there since the beginning of popular music, but they became very prominent in the 60s to mixed results. What I mean is that for every Supremes, there’s a Shangri-Las, who makes this list for their number one hit Leader Of The Pack. It’s a teen tragedy song about a girl named Betty who falls in love with a guy named Jimmy, who’s the leader of a motorcycle gang, much to her parents’ disapproval. Betty’s parents tell her to break up with him, which she does and Jimmy sadly drives away on a rainy night and he dies in an accident. I’m reminded a bit of Patches; I still find it hard to believe that she didn’t rebel against her parents like most teenagers would, which takes away any tension in the song. Outside of that, the singing in this song is not that good, the instrumentation has aged badly, and most of the song is mushy crap. It’s not worth listening to. Next.

6.

Oh, goody. Another teen tragedy song. Just what I needed. So this is Dead Man’s Curve from the duo Jan & Dean. It’s not just another teen tragedy song, but it’s one of many car songs that blew up in the same time as surf rock. This was all before rappers started doing songs about cars. Back to Dead Man’s Curve. It’s about a guy who’s driving his Corvette one night when another guy in a Jaguar challenges him to a street race. They’re racing throughout the city when all of a sudden, the dude crashes at what’s called Dead Man’s Curve. Basically, this song is just dumb teenagers doing dumb teenager shit and getting their comeuppances and it has the same issue as every teen tragedy song, it’s too depressing to listen to. Musically, it sounds no different from other songs like it and the harmonizing is inferior to what we expect from the Beach Boys. Let this song rust like a hooptie.

5.

It Hurts to Be in Love album cover.jpg

If there’s any song on this list that epitomizes pathetic, it’s Gene Pitney’s It’s Hard To Be In Love. Originally, this was written for Neil Sedaka to sing, but Sedaka’s label got in the way and the song was given to Gene Piney. This feels like a song Neil Sedaka would do. The song is a guy who’s depressed because he’s in love with a woman who doesn’t love him back. It is relatable, but still pathetic because he reacts like a melodramatic crybaby who got friendzoned. Dude, get over yourself. Maybe she’s not the one. There’s plenty of fishes in the sea, you’ll find that person who’ll love you back. You just gotta keep looking.

4.

If there was a contest for dumbest song title ever, Major Lance would probably be a major contestant thanks to Um, Um, Um, Um, Um, Um. A word of advice to songwriters: sometimes, the first idea that comes out of your head is not the best idea. Also, don’t name your song after what you say when you can’t come up with any words to say. In the song, Major Lance sees a guy sitting on a bench just muttering to himself and wonders what he was saying. After his girl left him, he understood the guy. About what, we don’t know because half of the song is just him repeating “um, um, um” over and over and the writing is so vague, we don’t even know why the other guy was saying this for. This is laziness plain and simple.

3.

If you want to express frustration in your music, being pissy for the wrong reasons is not a good way to go. Somebody obviously didn’t tell that to whoever wrote There! I’ve Said It Again. Originally a hit from Vaughn Monroe in 1945, the song became an even bigger hit when it was covered by Bobby Vinton in 1963. In the song, we have a guy saying to his girl, “I love you!! There, I said it!! You happy now?!” in the most annoyed, frustrated tone ever. Ladies, if your dude says this to you, does that sound like someone who genuinely loves you or someone who’s so distracted by the game they’re watching that you’re no concern to them? This is how arguments begins and relationships go down the toilet. Aside from that, the music is boring and so is the singing. This is just a lame song. Keep it.

2.

Fuck this song. Seriously, fuck this song and fuck Family Guy for inflicting this noise upon the new generation. For those of you who don’t know, this is Surfin’ Bird by the appropriately-titled one-hit wonders The Trashmen. This is actually a combination of two songs by the Rivingtons: Bird’s The Word and Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow. Well, I hope you like those two phrases because they’re repeated ad-nauseum throughout the entirety of the goddamn song. It’s repetitive nonsense made to annoy people to the point where they want to shoot any bird that they see. Also, there’s a part in the middle that sounds like the singer had a seizure and a stroke at the same time. I felt bad for any person next to Peter Griffin when he played this shit. I want Brian and Stewie to find every single copy of this record in existence and do this.

I know it’s impossible since we’re in the digital age, but that clip above is more satisfying than an orgasm.

And now, here are some dishonorable mentions.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

  • The Dixie Cups-Chapel Of Love
  • Terry Stafford-Suspicion
  • The Newbeats-Bread And Butter
  • Betty Everett & Jerry Butler-Let It Be Me
  • Millie Small-My Boy Lollipop
  • Bobby Freeman-C’Mon And Swim
  • Diane Renay-Navy Blue
  • Roger Miller-Chug-A-Lug
  • Bobby Goldsboro-See The Funny Little Clown
  • Al Martino-I Love You More And More

And finally, the worst song of 1964 IS…………

drum roll

1.

Image result for billy j kramer and the dakotas little children

You know? A couple of weeks ago, the Catholic Church was back in the news thanks to more allegations of child molestation and how they were covering it up. I bring it up because this song reminds me of that. Boy, is this song infamous. This is Billy J. Kramer & The Dakotas with Little Children. That title does not give me a good feeling. The music feels off and the singing is really creepy, especially when you get into the lyrics.

Little children, you better not tell on me
I’m tellin’ you, little children, you better not tell what you see
And if you’re good, I’ll give you candy and a quarter
If you’re quiet like you oughta be
And keep a secret with me

…………………..

Sorry, nearly threw up for a second. This is child molester talk right here. I can see one of those Catholic priests saying this to one of their victims. “If you don’t say anything about what happened, I’ll give you a treat.” Fucking yikes. But one could point to a line like this…

You saw me kissin’ your sister, you saw me holdin’ her hand
But if you snitch to your mother, your father won’t understand

… and say that I’m reaching. Then again, we don’t know how old the older sister is. For all we know, the older sister could be underage and Billy J. Kramer was 20 when the song was released. This entire song is just unsettling. Take away the stuff with the older sister and you got a song that even Hebert The Pervert would object to. Congratulations to Little Children for being the worst song of 1964.

And those were the worst songs of 1964. In two weeks, BACK TO THE 60s continues with the Worst Songs of 1965.

1964.png

Peace!!

SONG OF THE WEEK

S.D.S.-Mac Miller (R.I.P.)

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6 thoughts on “Top 10 List: Worst Songs of 1964

  1. We’re finally in the part of the 60s that people really begin to identify the decade with. Once the Beatles came to America, they pretty much wiped out a lot of the music that was popular before they came. For the most part, the sounds and styles of the 50s started to fade away as The British Invasion took a hold on the charts. On the American side, Motown started to really dominate this year with acts like The Supremes and The Temptations rising to prominence. We also still had the continued popularity of surf rock along with some residual doo-woo/girl group hits. And this was also a good year for orchestral pop and jazz songs as evidenced by Hello, Dolly and Everybody Loves Somebody being number one hits this year along with other hits. For me, 1964 is the year where modern music starts means it’s the first year where a lot of the music really interests me.

    Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying- meh

    People- it’s well sang and well performed but even I’ll admit it gets boring after a while. I share the same opinion as you do about Barbra Streisand in that she’s a really great singer but a lot of her music just doesn’t interest me that much.

    Today- boring and really dated by this time

    Leader of the Pack- this sounds dated even for 1964. It sounds like something from the more earlier 60s when teen tragedy sings were really big. This song is just meh to me.

    Dead Man’s Curve- when I listen to Jan and Dean I keep mistaking them with The Beach Boys with the similar singing styles and similar instrumentation which makes sense when you know that Brian Wilson wrote Surf City for them. This is no difference and I don’t really care about the lyrics.

    It Hurts To Be In Love- another melodramatic love song acting like it’s the end of the world when you don’t get the one you want

    Um, Um, Um, Um, Um, Um- I think the title alone tells you how stupid this song is

    There I’ve Said It Again- really dull and stupid. I also find it funny at the same time with the premise and Bobby Vinton’s delivery

    Surfin Bird- I’m surprised this didn’t top the list cause I can’t think of a song this year or of any other year that annoys me as much as this one. I remember seeing that episode of Family Guy and finding it funny with how obsessed Peter was along with Brian and Stewie smashing the record to pieces. This song is just plain stupid and annoying and a good song to play to anyone thinking that music back in the good ole days was better.

    Little Children- really creepy but at the same time I don’t think it’s worthy of he worst song of the year especially when Surfin Bird is on the year end list

    I disagree with Chapel of Love cause I think it sounds nice and charming for a wedding song.

    Many of the songs on your best list are great classics that have held up really well and I still enjoy listening to. I would have put House of the Rising Sun as my best song of 1964. I love The Beatles but House of the Rising Sun is just something out of this world. It’s one of the best songs ever to have hit number one. But the two Beatles songs at number one and the other two on the honorable mentions are still really great and bring back childhood memories of listening to them on family car rides along with when my music teacher would show us their Ed Sullivan performance and A Hard Days Night movie and playing the Beatles Rock Band video game. I’m surprised you put Do Wah Diddy Diddy on your best list. I think it’s fun and catchy but I don’t think it’s all that great to put it on my best list but more of an honorable mention.

    Here are my 2006 lists
    Best Hit Songs of 2006
    1)Dani California by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
    2)Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
    3)Ain’t No Other Man by Christina Aguilera
    4)Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean
    5)Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland
    6)Ridin by Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone
    7)Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy
    8)So Sick by Ne-Yo
    9)My Love by Justin Timberlake ft. T.I.
    10)Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer
    Honorable Mentions
    Temperature by Sean Paul
    Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
    Be Without You by Mary J. Blige
    SOS by Rihanna
    I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco
    How to Save a Life by The Fray
    Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
    Everytime We Touch by Cascada
    Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson
    Where You’d Go by Fort Minor ft. Holly Brook and Jonah Matranga
    Don’t Forget About Us by Mariah Carey
    Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall
    Unpredictable by Jamie Foxx ft. Ludacris
    Who Says You Can’t Go Home by Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles
    Too Little, Too Late by JoJo
    Deja Vu by Beyoncé ft. JAY-Z
    Call Me When You’re Sober by Evanescence
    Pump It by The Black Eyes Peas
    When I’m Gone by Eminem
    Hung Up by Madonna
    Stupid Girls by P!nk

    Worst Hit Songs of 2006
    1)London Bridge by Fergie
    2)Lips of an Angel by Hinder
    3)Laffy Taffy by D4L
    4)Beep by The Pussycat Dolls ft. will.i.am
    5)Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx ft. The Ying Yang Twins and Mr. LolliPark
    6)I Know You See It by Yung Joc ft. Brandy Hambrick
    7)There It Go (The Whistle Song) by Juelz Santana
    8)Chain Hang Low by Jibbs
    9)Shake That by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg 10)You’re Beautiful by James Blunt
    Dishonorable Mentions
    SexyBack by Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland
    Check on It by Beyoncé ft. Bun B and Slim Thug
    Grillz by Nelly ft. Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp
    Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls ft. Snoop Dogg
    Snap Yo Fingers by Lil Jon ft. E-40 and Sean P
    Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It/I Think They Like Me ft. Jermaine Dupri, Da Brat, and Bow Wow by Dem Franchize Boyz
    I’m N Luv (Wit A Stripper) by T-Pain ft. Mike Jones
    Yo (Excuse Me Miss)/Gimme That by Chris Brown
    Savin Me/Far Away by Nickelback
    U and Dat by E-40 ft. T-Pain and Kandi Girl
    Shoulder Lean by Young Dro
    Pullin Me Back by Chingy ft. Tyrese
    Bossy by Kelis ft. Too $hort
    Rompe by Daddy Yankee
    Show Stopper by Danity Kane
    Hate Me by Blue October
    Stay Fly by Three 6 Mafia
    Do I Make You Proud by Taylor Hicks
    For You I Will (Confidence) by Teddy Geiger

    What do you think of the following songs?
    Rag Doll by The Four Seasons
    Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin
    Ringo by Lorne Green
    Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton (the song that Akon sampled horribly for Lonely in 2005)
    Come See About Me by The Supremes
    I Feel Fine by The Beatles
    I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles
    Please Please Me by The Beatles
    Love Me Do by The Beatles
    Do You Want To Know A Secret? by The Beatles
    Can’t Buy Me Love by The Beatles
    The Girl From Ipanema by Stan Getz (I played this song on guitar with my uncle at my cousins wedding last year)
    Louie Louie by The Kingsmen
    How Do You Do It by Gerry and the Pacemakers (The Beatles originally recorded it)
    Do You Love Me by The Dave Clark Five
    Money (That’s What I Want) by The Kingsmen
    Memphis by Johnny Rivers
    A World Without Love by Peter and Gordon
    The Little Old Lady from Pasadena by Jan and Dean
    Last Kiss by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers (the song that Pearl Jam covered in 1999. Do you prefer the Peal Jam version or the original version? I prefer the Pearl Jam version more)
    What do you think of the Mick Jagger and David Bowie cover of Dancing in the Street? (I like both versions but enjoy the original more for the way it sounds)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My goodness, that’s a lot of songs. Here goes nothing. *clears throat*

      Okay, okay, okay, okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, okay, okay, okay, meh, okay, okay, okay, meh, okay (I also pick the Pearl Jam version).

      I thought Jagger and Bowie’s version of Dancing In The Street was good enough.

      Ever thought about starting your own blog? It’s free to do on WordPress. Just a recommendation because you have good lists.

      Like

  2. Ah, 1964. The year the pop charts became interesting. The reason I didn’t comment on the last 4 lists was because the music released before ’64 was just… boring (well, not all of it). Though, on the previous list, I didn’t even know about the “let me Abos go loose” bit in Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport until I read about it. No wonder that racist line was removed. Anyway, onto the list:

    Little Children is what I like to call the Pedophile Anthem, because of the singer telling the kid to not tell on him after their time together, and also giving them something as a promise. I don’t care, the kid should tell their parents who will report to the authorities on him, because they could be with a child rapist for all they know.

    Those teen tragedy songs like Leader Of The Pack and Patches in the ’62 list have been disturbing me. So, you fell in love with someone, but the parents disapprove and you agree to quit spending time with your lover, who is then heartbroken and commits suicide? Why not show some backbone, guys? Oh, right. It was the 60s, where kids were expected to be all good so they could go to heaven. Man, these songs are so depressing.

    Thank God The Beatles came and brightened up the charts, along with other acts. Sure, the music they released at first was mostly about loving girls like One Direction, but the difference was that The Beatles had talent and sounded nice, and their music has lasted for generation after generation. Plus, I can’t see 1D’s music still being played 10 years from now. (BTW, they’re also my dad’s favourite band).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 1964 is the 2011 in pop music of the 60s. By that, I mean a year that basically pulled pop music out of it’s rut leading to more interesting years in music down the line, with 1964 having the British Invasion much like 2011 had Adele.

    Also, I have another song for Random WTF lyrics. This time it’s a song that could possibly challenge “Can I Touch You… There?” by Michael Bolton for your #0 spot on your worst songs of 1995 list. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QngbRrKI4s Trust me, this song actually gets skeevier with each passing listen when you analyze the lyrics.

    Liked by 2 people

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