So much has happened in 1969. We landed on the Moon, Nixon was sworn in as President, and in terms of music, there was Woodstock, the Beatles held their last public performance before they eventually split up, Elvis made his comeback after doing movies for most of the decade, and a Rolling Stones concert at Alamont ended in a fan being stabbed to death by a member of the Hell’s Angels (who were hired to be security at the event). At this point, things started to slow down for the counterculture. All of the big music trends like rock, psychedelia, and folk were still popular, but the stage was set for a transition into the 70s. Our journey through the 60s is nearly over, so let go through the worst that 1969 had to offer.
10.
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The 60s had no shortage of happy, sunshiny pop music and Dizzy by Tommy Roe is no exception. I don’t mind these type of songs, but it’s unfortunate that this particular song sucks. It’s another dopey love song that’s so sugarcoated that it could have been sold by Nestle.
Dizzy
I’m so dizzy, my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool, it never ends
And it’s you, girl, making it spin
You’re making me dizzy
Ugh. So cliche. Another problem with the song is the music. Now, I like a good, well-executed key change, but this song built on key changes and it fucks up the whole vibe. Key changes are usually saved for the final chorus and they make the song more epic or exciting and they enhance the mood that’s crafted. In Dizzy, none of that happens because a key change is happening on every chorus. It’s like an action movie where it’s all action and you don’t care about the characters, the story, or there’s no real stakes. You just tune out.
9.
Ladies and gentlemen, the best selling single from Tommy James And The Shondells, Crimson And Clover. You know? As bad as Hanky Panky was, it was at least bad in the most absurd way, like I can’t believe anyone would make a song like that. Crimson And Clover is just boring. I never thought that was possible with psychedelia, but this song proved me wrong because this instrumentation is really dull and it sounds muddy. Whoever was the engineer must have been stoned like hell during the recording process. And the writing is also a mess. I guess it’s about a girl, but most of it repeats the phrase “crimson and clover” like that makes up for it. You’re better off skipping this one.
8.
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Next is a song from Oliver. Yep. That’s his stage name, just Oliver. Anyways, this is Jean, the theme song to the 1969 film The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie. What we have is yet another boring ballad with acoustic guitars and a harp and generic love song lyrics that might as well have been written in the 50s. This was a number 2 hit and it feels so out of place the year it was released. I could see it fit 1961 or something, but not 1969. Skip this one, too.
7.
Yep. We’re talking about this group again. 1910 Fruitgum Company, which sounds like the name of a literal company. Well, here’s their final hit (thank every god in existence), Indian Giver. That title, plus the artwork above, does not give off a good sign. Setting aside how racially insensitive it is given the times, what the fuck is Indian giver in this situation? Do they just have an indigenous person by their side that they give to someone else? Oh, brother, the implications that might come out of that scenario. While this song isn’t as childish as Simon Says and 1, 2, 3 Red Light, it’s still really stupid, generic, and manufactured. In other words, this ain’t it, chief.
6.
Oh, look who’s showed up again. Ray Stevens. And he has another “comedy” song to bring us with Gitarzan, the title being a fusion of guitar and Tarzan. Here’s the premise of the song: Tarzan decides to play guitar and form a band. Yeah, that sounds like a cartoon pitch from a studio executive from the 80s who injected horse tranquilizers into both of their butt cheeks. Throughout the whole song, Ray Stevens just acts like a complete jackass as he imitates Tarzan, Jane, and their pet monkey and it is annoying. The instrumentation is also lazy, playing the same piano notes, some sloppy drum and guitar work, and an awkward horns section. This is one jungle creature that should remain extinct. Me Tarzan, you lazy hack comedian/music artist.
5.
Oh, great. It’s Lou Christie again. You know, the guy who wants to be Frankie Valli so badly. He’s back, this time with I’m Gonna Make You Mine. Only good things can come from this *sarcasm*. To be fair, Lou doesn’t do his falsetto that much in this song, which makes it more tolerable to listen to than his other songs. But there’s still an issue with the writing, which depicts him as a creepy ass stalker who doesn’t know the meaning of personal boundaries and won’t quit until he wears this girl’s skin as a coat.
I’ll try every trick in the book
With every step that you take, everywhere that you look
Just look and you’ll find
I’ll try to get to your soul, I’ll try to get to your mind
I’m gonna make you mine
I know I’ll never give up, I’m at the end of my rope
From the morning till suppertime, you’ll find
I’ll be waiting in line, I’ll be waiting in line
I’m gonna make you mine (baby, I’m gonna make you mine)
Make you mine, I’m gonna make you mine
Baby, I’m gonna make you mine, I’m gonna make you mine
Seriously, dude. You’re the reason restraining orders exist. It’s also nice to see that you view this woman as a trophy to be won rather than an autonomous human being. Truly the workings of an incel.
4.
Remember Bobby Sherman? The dude who made that sappy ass song Julie, Do Ya Love Me? Well, before that, he made this song Little Woman. This song is awful for one reason: the writing. In this song, Bobby is trying to convince some little woman (why doe she have to be little) to leave her world behind and go with his instead. Because that doesn’t sound entitled or possessive. In no way does that sound like someone who’s been spoiled their entire lives and feels as if the world owes them something. Why should she go with you? For all we know, you could be holding her back. Screw this nonsense.
3.
When you ask “what’s the worst that could happen,” you kinda jinxed yourself because what will follow afterwards is the worst that could happen. Anyways, Johnny Maestro & The Brooklyn Bridge with The Worst That Could Happen. It’s about a guy who sees the girl that he loves get married to another man. He accepts this because he made the choice to not tie the knot. Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. He let the one slip and he accepts the outcome of his choice. But then there’s this.
And baby if he loves you more than me
And baby if he loves you more than me
Maybe it’s the best thing
Maybe it’s the best thing for you
But it’s the worst that could happen to me
Really, dude? The worst that could happen to you? I can understand saying this about something like losing your job or a loved one passed away or if you’re diagnosed with cancer, but losing out on a girl? Enough with the melodramatic bullshit. All this does is paint you as a whiny little child who didn’t get his way. That line alone kills any sincerity you had with the rest of the song. The worst that could happen? Not really, but we’re still left with another shitty song.
2.
Because making one song involving underaged girls wasn’t good enough, Gary Puckett & The Union decided to make another one. This is This Girl Is A Woman Now, a song about a girl who has become a woman. It’s not exactly clear what they mean by that because it could mean anything. Did she hit puberty or has she reached the legal age limit?
This girl is a woman now
She’s learned how to give
This girl is a woman now
She’s found out what it’s all about
And she’s learning, learning to live
She learned how to give. Give what? Love? Attention? Money? Kitty cat?
This girl tasted love as tender as the gentle dawn
She cried a single tear a teardrop that was sweet and warm
Our hearts told us we were right
And on that sweet and velvet night
A child had died, a woman had been born
Okay, now I know what they’re talking about. It’s this dude having sex with an underaged girl and declaring her a woman that night. Pardon me if I have the urge to vomit, but this is just gross. Time to burn this pedo song right now with fire and make sure it doesn’t lay eggs.
And now, here are some dishonorable mentions
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
- Andy Kim-Baby, I Love You
- The Lettermen-Hurts So Bad
- Mercy-Love (Can Make You Happy)
- Oliver-Good Morning Starshine
- Spiral Staircase-I Love You More Today Than Yesterday
- Donovan-Atlantis
- The Checkmates Ltd.-Black Pearl
- New Colony Six-Things I’d Like To Say
- Flying Machine-Smile A Little Smile For Me
- The Cuff Links-Tracy
And finally, the worst song of 1969 IS…….
1.
You know? I originally planned to have This Girl Is A Woman top this list, then I listened to this song and found something horrifying. Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town is a song that was originally recorded by Johnny Darrell in 1967. It was a Top 10 hit on the country charts, but two years later, Kenny Rogers & The First Edition did a cover that didn’t exactly light up the country charts, but it reached the Top 10 on the Hot 100. So why is this song number one on this list? Well, it sounds like your typical country song and Kenny Rogers doesn’t sound that bad, so let’s go to the writing. In this song, a war veteran who’s paralyzed from the waist down is pleading with his wife to not to go out to town because he’s afraid that she might be cheating on him with another man. Okay, that alone sounds tragic, but then there’s one line that changes the whole thing into something horrible.
And if I could move I’d get my gun and put her in the ground
WHOOOOOOOOOOOA!! You’re reading the same thing I am, right, folks? He actually considers murdering his own wife if he was able to walk because he thinks she’s going out getting some dick. I… no. Fuck this guy. Seriously. I don’t give a damn if you are a war veteran, there’s no justifiable reason for this line of thinking. If anything, his wife should leave his crippled ass because he’s one bad day away from snapping and she could end up in his crossfire and be another statistic. Or he might point the gun at himself and pull the trigger. Either way, someone’s gonna end up dead. Congratulations to Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town for being the worst song of 1969.
So those were the worst songs of 1969. On January 25 of next year, BACK TO THE 60s will conclude with the 100 Best Songs of the 60s. Look forward to that. Also, look forward to my Worst and Best of 2018 lists that are sure to come out this December.
Peace!!
SONG OF THE WEEK
Everyday People-Sly & The Family Stone
Dizzy makes me dizzy. It is that song you listen to sitting in those tea cups while someone turns tne wheel many times before you get out and throw up and you feel like you drank more than a fifth of vodka.
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My first visit to your site, so don’t know if you lived through the Sixties or not. Doesn’t sound like it. Looking backwards your reasoning for a number of songs is spot on, but we weren’t there yet. Many men were still assholes, and that was the “normal” world we had inherited from our perents and they from theirs. I am not justifying the MCPs, and not every male was one, but some of these songs heĺped change our views of what was permissable or not permissable “behind closed doors.” The “Ruby” song was actually about letting women know it was okay to leave the home to get laid if hubby couldn’t perform, rather than sit at home like a china doll (as in made of delicate china, not a woman of Chinese descent), as women were expected to be in those days. “Women are sexual beings, not just men.” This was ground-breaking. The other part of the song, the part you keyed on, was more about self-hatred for having agreed to go to Vietnam rather than crossing the border into Canada, or wherever. This is an anti-war song, and that is how we took it. One line in the song, I grant you, is horrible, and speaks to frustration and anger, but you cannot judge the whole song by that one line. It is blinding you to reality, and all the goodness in the song.
I could go through other songs you chose, and tell you about things in them you cannot see looking backwards. Looking forward they are great songs, bringing these situations into the light, or telling us the way we were taught to treat women was wrong. WE WERE REJECTING THE WORLD OUR MOTHERS AND FATHERS GAVE US, not honouring it.
Some songs were definitely worth ripping apart, such as the Beatles “Run for Your Life” and Tom Jones’ “Delilah” (from an earlier time), but others do not deserve yours or anyone’s scorn. Without them, today’s #MeToo society might never have existed. Music helped change a lot of things, please give it the credit it was due.
And just by-the-bye, “This Girl is a Woman Now” is not about a young underage girl, so please remove your mind from the gutter. Yes, it is a song about a woman losing her virginity, but it is a celebration, a rite of passage so to speak. By connecting it to “Young Girl,” which is a song about refusing a young girl’s advances–not taking advantage of her (a situation I found myself in more than once!) you are doing this song a disservice. I don’t know what was going on in the minds of the makers of this song, but Gary Puckett had the perfect voice for it, very masculine, but yet not meanly masculine–a man honouring the fact he was allowed to be the one chosen by the girl to help her go from childhood (an ageless term) into womanhood. He was not some predator forcing himself on a girl. Listen to the music, this was a beautiful event, not a terrifying one (another situation we occasionally found ourselves in as males in a time of opening the doors to sexual freedoms).
Take a look at society pre 1965 and post 1970, and count the changes. No, we were not successful in everything we tried to accomplish, but no 5 year period in history created such widespread change as those years: socially, sexually, enviromentally, or politically. Yes, we still have stupid wars started by stupid, greedy, warmongerers, but we taught ourselves and our children that there is a choice, an ability to refuse to go to war. Five or six years that changed the world forever, or so we thought. The asshole Trump thinks he can take America back to the pre 60s, but who the hell wants to go there. It was not the best of times, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES!
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We’ve finally made it to the end of the 60s and what a wild ride it has been. The decade started with all the boring, samey-sounding leftovers of the 50s and now we’re getting a lot of cool new genres and some of the greatest songs and albums ever made. Also in 69, my hometown baseball team NY Mets won their first of two World Series and my Dad, growing up in Queens close to Shea Stadium, remembers rushing home from school to see the Mets play on TV since they would play their games during the day. Hope they can win another World Series soon. I don’t have much to say about your picks. They pretty much speak for themselves. Dizzy was cheesy and lame. Crimson and Clover, aside from being boring, is just plain weird especially that vocal effect they do on the key change that makes the guy sound like a robot. Jean was boring. Indian Giver is another stupid bubblegum pop song of the time only with Native American imagery. Gitarzan is another stupid novelty song from this guy. I actually saw him during my Nashville vacation in August when he got his star on the Music City Walk Of Fame along with Brenda Lee and a few other artists. When I heard about it, I couldn’t believe they were honoring the man behind all these stupid songs though apparently he’s been pretty big in the Nashville music business. I’m Gonna Make You Mine is better than his earlier songs but still mediocre. Worse That Could Happen was meh. Little Woman was meh. The Girl Is A Woman Now is another creepy song from this group. Ruby Don’t Take Your Love To Town is very stupid. Being a war veteran doesn’t make it right for you to kill someone on suspicions of cheating. And the performances are kinda boring.
Another great best list though I’m not that crazy about Hawaii Five-O. It’s a fine enough TV theme but nothing special. Aside from that, they’re all great songs. Something/Come Together are my personal favorite songs of 1969 and are also in my top favorite Beatles songs. This was a cool, or to put it in 60s terms, groovy journey through the 60s. One thing I like about your decade series is that just when I thought I knew everything about these decades, there’s a lot more songs I didn’t know about that were just as popular as the songs I had known for all my life. Can’t wait for your Best Songs of the 60s! It’ll definitely be great. Also looking forward to your 2018 lists!
Here are my lists I made for 1994 and 1995
Best Hit Songs of 1994
1)Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden
2)Zombie by The Cranberries
3)Longview by Green Day
4)Loser by Beck
5)Mary Jane’s Last Dance by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
6)Keep Ya Head Up by 2Pac
7)Gin and Juice/Who Am I (What’s My Name)? by Snoop Dogg
8)Whatta Man by Salt-n-Pepa & En Vogue
9)U.N.I.T.Y by Queen Latifah
10)Hero by Mariah Carey
Honorable Mentions
The Sign by Ace of Base
I Swear by All-4-One
I’ll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men
Stay (I Missed You) by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
Bump n’ Grind by R Kelly
I’ll Remember/Secret by Madonna
Wild Night by John Mellencamp ft. Meshell Ndegeocello
Without You by Mariah Carey
Can You Feel The Love Tonight by Elton John
Fantastic Voyage by Coolio
Regulate by Warren G ft. Nate Dogg
Back And Forth by Aaliyah ft. R Kelly
When Can I See You by Babyface
Shine by Collective Soul
Linger by The Cranberries
Found Out About You by Gin Blossoms
Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen
Endless Love by Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey
Crazy/Amazing by Aerosmith
Beautiful In My Eyes by Joshua Kadison
Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
Love Sneakin Up On You by Bonnie Raitt
Bop Gun (One Nation) by Ice Cube & George Clinton
All Apologies by Nirvana
Mr. Jones by Counting Crows
Basket Case/Welcome To Paradise by Green Day
Worst Hit Songs of 1994
1)Indian Outlaw by Tim McGraw
2)Tootsee Roll by 69 Boyz
3)Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm by Crash Test Dummies
4)Said I Loved You…But I Lied by Michael Bolton
5)Never Lie by Immature
6)I’ll Take You There by General Public
7)Baby I Love Your Way by Big Mountain
8)All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow
9)All For Love by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart & Sting
10)Now And Forever by Richard Marx
Dishonorable Mentions
If You Go by Jon Secada
Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams
Gangsta Lean by D.R.S.
I Miss You by Aaron Hall
I’m Ready/Always In My Heart by Tevin Campbell
Understanding by Xscape
Dreams by Gabrielle
Best Hit Songs of 1995
1)Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio ft. L.V.
2)Dear Mama by 2Pac
3)Waterfalls/Creep by TLC
4)Fantasy by Mariah Carey
5)Run-Around by Blues Traveler
6)Big Poppa by The Notorious B.I.G.
7)On Bended Knee by Boyz II Men
8)Scream by Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson
9)Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots
10)Buddy Holly by Weezer
Honorable Mentions
Kiss From A Rose by Seal
Don’t Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days) by Monica
This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
Freak Like Me by Adina Howard
I Can Love You Like by All-4-One
Always/This Ain’t A Love Song by Bon Jovi
Boombastic by Shaggy
You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson
Hold My Hand by Hootie & The Blowfish
One More Chance by The Notorious B.I.G.
Red Light Special by TLC
December by Soul Collective
Keep Their Heads Ringin’ by Dr. Dre
Believe by Elton John
Carnival by Natalie Merchant
You Don’t Know How It Feels by Tom Petty
Feel Me Flow by Naughty by Nature
Every Day Of The Week by Jade
No More I Love Yous by Annie Lennox
I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need To Get By by Method Man ft. Mary J. Blige
You Used To Love Me by Faith Evans
1st Of Tha Month by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
Misery by Soul Asylum
When I Come Around by Green Day
Lump by The Presidents of the United States of America
Worst Hit Songs of 1995
1)Short Dick Man by 20 Fingers ft Gillette
2)Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex
3)Come and Get Your Love by Real McCoy
4)Total Eclipse of The Heart by Nicki French
5)Player’s Anthem by Junior M.A.F.I.A.
6)Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me by U2
7)Constantly by Immature
8)Back for Good by Take That
9)I Live My Life For You by Firehouse
10)Dream About You by Stevie B
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What are your thoughts on the following songs?
Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations
Hair by The Cowsills
One by Three Dog Night
Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
In The Ghetto by Elvis Presley
A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash
Wedding Bell Blues by The 5th Dimension
Lay, Lady, Lay by Bob Dylan
Mother Popcorn by James Brown
Hooked On A Feeling by B.J. Thomas (like this version or the more popular cover from Blue Swede?)
Na Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam
Leaving On A Jet Plane by Peter Paul and Mary
Someday We’ll Be Together by Diana Ross & The Supremes
Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Down On The Corner by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones
What do you think of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s cover of I Heard It Through The Grapevine? I first knew this song from their cover and I like it equally as the original
Agree with Sugar Sugar. It’s not great and had no place being the biggest song of 1969 but I find it catchy and fun to sing along to.
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Okay, meh, okay, meh, okay, okay, good, good, good, okay (Blue Swede version is better), good, good, good, great, great, good, I think it’s good, but I still prefer the Marvin Gaye version.
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For those wondering about Sugar Sugar, I decided to leave it off the list because while I still think it’s not a good song, much worse exists. Compared to the songs that did make this list, it’s relatively harmless.
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Thoughts on In the Year 2525? That’s my pick for worst song of 1969
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Meh.
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