Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Simple Plan. This Canadian pop rock band blew up in the early 2000s and gained an audience among teenage suburbanites with first world problems. Throughout the years, they have become a reoccurring punchline in the music community thanks to their brand of whiny melodrama. This all peaked with the release of Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?), a song that despite good intentions (especially with the music video), is so laughably bad that the internet turned it into a meme, which it deserves. But that’s not the subject of today’s Target Practice. No, the song we’re going to be talking about hit number one in their home country and peaked at number 40 in the States. Funny enough, it’s on the same album as Untitled. This is Welcome To My Life.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
You ever feel like an alien who crashed landed on Earth with amnesia? That should be a movie if it isn’t one already.
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
I sure hope the person doing that isn’t listening to fucking Simple Plan because that would be embarrassing.
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE PERSONAL PROBLEMS!! YOU COULD NEVER RELATE TO THE STRUGGLES I’VE BEEN THROUGH!! I AM UNIQUE!!” -whiny teenager from every generation.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Welcome to adulthood. Get in line.
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
Says every teenage internet edgelord who thinks being a cynic is cool. Trust me, I’ve been through that nihilistic phase when I was younger. You know what happened? I grew up, I met more people, and I realized that not everyone in the world is either a complete moron or the bastard child of Satan.
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy, but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
Let me sum up this song for you in one image.
This song blows. If you’re someone who has never listened to a Simple Plan song in your entire life, one, you are the luckiest person in the world, two, Welcome To My Life is the perfect summation of damn near every Simple Plan song. The musicianship of the song is basic as fuck, which is honestly the least of my complaints since most pop punk use the same chords and progressions. Pierre Bouvier’s whiny voice makes me want to throw my computer out a window and it’s matched with even whinier lyrics, which is basically a teenager complaining about his problems and people not getting them. I’m not surprised that this band has a predominately teenage audience because they’ll relate to this and they’ll latch onto any artist who they feel speaks to them. I’m not against making music about teenage angst, you just have to be good at it and Simple Plan are just bad at this, plain and simple. Next Target Practice, I’ll be looking at a random song that’s currently charting.
SONG OF THE WEEK