Trailer Talk

Trailer Talk #1

Welcome to a new series called Trailer Talk, where the premise is simple: I talk about movie trailers or teasers for any upcoming movies. I’ve been wanting to do a series like this for a while and now, it’s happening. I’ll tell you my feelings about the trailer or teaser, my predictions for the film, and theories if I have any. This will be fun. Let’s get started.

POKÉMON: DETECTIVE PIKACHU

When I picture a live-action Pokémon movie, this is not the first thing that came to mind. I’m a 90s baby. Of course, I have history with Pokémon. I played the games and watched the anime series. Out of the seven generations (soon to be eight with a new game coming out), I’m mainly familiar with the first two generations and some of the third and fourth generation. When I heard that they were making a Detective Pikachu movie, I had no interest because I thought it was going to be another animated movie and let’s be honest, a lot of the Pokémon movies weren’t that good, including the first one (sorry to everyone who cried at Pikachu crying about Ash turning to stone). Then, I saw the trailers and I was like…

Image result for you had my curiosity

You have the titular character voiced by Ryan Reynolds teaming up with that annoying screeching guy from Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in the world where Pokémon coexist with people. How could I not be at least interested in where it goes? There was a butt-ton of Pokémon in the trailers that I had more fun looking for. Plus, the music choice? Between the original Pokémon theme song and Holding Out For A Hero, I was sold. Definitely going to see this. This has potential to be a good video game adaptation, something that is damn near nonexistent and it could do numbers at the box office. It’s friggin’ Pokémon. There is no excuse for it to bomb.

DARK PHOENIX

With Disney’s acquisition of Fox, Dark Phoenix will officially be the last film in the latter studio’s X-Men Universe and thank goodness because these films have gotten tiring. The continuity is so screwed up and Days Of Future Past was supposed to fix this, but it only made things worse. Why do some of these characters still look the same after four decades? First Class took place in the 60s, a good chunk of Days Of Future Past took place in the 70s, Apocalypse in the 80s, and now, we have Dark Phoenix, which is in the 90s. Every trailer I’ve seen for Dark Phoenix has been underwhelming so far. From what’s shown, it looks like a retread of The Last Stand, a movie that I didn’t hate as much as other people, but I admit it’s not good. This is Fox’s second attempt at adapting the Phoenix Saga and it seems like they haven’t learned from their mistakes. In the original X-Men trilogy, we barely got to know Jean Grey and Cyclops since it was the Wolverine show all-around. This time around, we know even less of Cyclops and Jean since the more recent X-Men films have been the Xavier/Magneto/Mystique show.

Image result for dark phoenix mystique

They revealed a MAJOR spoiler for the film in that Mystique dies. Seriously. They don’t even try to hide it in the trailers. Whoever was in charge of the marketing did a pretty shitty job at that. While we’re on the subject of Mystique, her makeup looks horrible. I know that Jennifer Lawrence hated putting on the Mystique makeup, which explains why she was barely blue in Apocalypse, but they half-assed it here. So, yeah. I’m not looking forward to this film. I predict the critics are going to go to town on this film and it’ll be considered to be the worst X-Men film since X-Men Origins: Wolverine, leading to a box office bomb.

ALADDIN (2019)

I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I’m not a fan of Disney remaking their animated movies, especially their classic ones, and Aladdin is no exception. Setting that aside and viewing this like the original 1992 film never existed, it looks fine. Most of the cast fit their role, I do like the production design, and the effects don’t look that bad. If there’s one issue I have, it’s Jafar. He does not come off as intimidating like he was in the animated film. Maybe it’s the casting or the line delivery, but he doesn’t come off as a great villain here. Also, let’s talk about Will Smith’s Genie. Remember that teaser that aired during the Grammys that debuted the Genie in all of his blue glory and the internet ravaged it like vultures to a carcass?

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Image result for will smith thats hot meme
Ah, that’s hot. That’s hot.

Well, it seems like someone at Disney saw all of the feedback and made slight improvements on the design and CGI so that the Genie doesn’t look uncanny valley-ish. I think this Genie looks better without the blue. Robin Williams made the Genie such an iconic character with his performance, so Will Smith has some big shoes to fill, but I think he can do his own unique version. For one, he’s going to be rapping, which shouldn’t be a surprise when you put him in this kind of role. Will this Aladdin be as good as the original version? Hell no. But I think a lot of people will like it and it’ll be a success, but not as big as the upcoming Lion King remake.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Whew. Sorry for that. That trailer had me hyped. We’re only three weeks away. We’re finally going to see what happens after Infinity War when Thanos wiped out half of the universe’s population. Endgame is the final movie of Phase 3 of the MCU and the final film with the original six Avengers. Dude, I cannot wait. At the same time, I’m not sure if I’m ready to be emotionally wrecked again. So far, we’ve been shown what was confirmed to be the first 20 minutes for a film that’s THREE HOURS LONG. Duuuuuuude. Imagine what we didn’t see. I once made a theory about what will happen in Endgame when I reviewed Infinity War and I think it’s time I revised that theory a bit based on all the trailers and teasers, including the more recent one. So after Tony makes his way back to Earth, all of the remaining heroes decide to confront Thanos, they end up getting their ass kicked again, they decide to go back in time thanks to Ant-Man and the Quantum Realm, and what happens after that, who knows. I’m just guessing here, I could be completely wrong. Either way, I’m looking forward to this movie and I know everyone else is, too. This is going to obliterate the box office. Will this overtake Titanic and Avatar (the movie with the blue aliens)? Who know?

TOY STORY 4

You’ve probably heard this before from someone else, but it bears repeating: this movie did not need to be made. Toy Story 3 was the perfect conclusion to the entire story that was told and no other stories needed to be made from this. Apparently, Pixar disagrees with that notion and thus, we have Toy Story 4. I’m not too crazy about it. I didn’t get any feels from this that I got from the previous film. This time around, the toys are with Bonnie, the little girl from the last movie, and she’s made a new toy Forky. During a road trip, Forky gets lost and Woody sets out to look for him. He reunites with Bo Peep and is faced with an existential crisis on what being a toy means. This all seems like retreading old ground and offering nothing new. I’m sure this movie will be a hit since Disney is coasting off nostalgia like they are with Aladdin and The Lion King, but I won’t be seeing it. Maybe I’ll catch it when it comes on TV someday.

DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD

They’re actually making a Dora The Explorer movie. This is a thing that exists now. I… I don’t even know. Didn’t College Humor do a sketch on this exact premise? I know studios are banking off nostalgia, but are there actual people above the age of eight who are crazy about Dora The Explorer? I was six years old when Dora first premiered and I did watch the show and picked up some basic Spanish words. I’m about to be 25 this year, so I’m no longer part of the show’s target demographic. Well, Nickelodeon and Paramount are releasing a live-action adaptation into theaters on August and they’re doing something different with Dora. This time around, Dora’s a teenager who was used to exploring the jungle and now she has to go to high school. Then, she goes on another adventure with her friends that involves the Lost City Of Gold and saving her parents. Looking at this trailer, it comes off as a kid-friendly version of either Indiana Jones or Tomb Raider, plus, checking off the cliches of a fish-out-of-water story in the high school setting. The Lost City Of Gold is clearly El Dorado. That’s what that name clearly described. Dora’s monkey friend Boots is in this movie, voiced by Machete himself Danny Trejo. Two things: one, is Boots going to speak or is he just going to make monkey noises? And two, where are his boots? That’s the reason why Boots is named Boots, because he wears boots. You took away a part of his character. There’s also Dora’s cousin Diego, who is nothing like Diego from the cartoon. This movie is going to suck, no questions about it. It has all of the makings of a bad kids’ film. There is one way it COULD work and that’s if they went full 21 Jump Street where it’s like a satire of the source material. You know how Dora would occasionally talk to the viewers in the cartoon? Do something like that and have Dora talk to the audience in the film and then have someone say “who are you talking to” or look at her crazy. Do a reoccurring gag where Boots can’t find his boots. Something that shows a little self-awareness. But that requires Phil Lord/Chris Miller-type writing that most lack that I don’t think this film will have. I’ve gone on for too long, let’s move on to the last trailer.

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3-PARABELLUM

Dude, the John Wick movies are my shit. Who’d thought that a movie about a hitman who goes on a revenge killing spree because a bunch of thugs killed his dog would be one of the most entertaining action films of the decade? I loved the first film and the second one, so you know I’m looking forward to the third one. After the events of Chapter 2, John Wick is now on the run from the same organization that he used to be a part of who have now put a $14 million hit on him. Bro, this shit is insane, featuring some great shots and a ton of kickass action. There’s a scene of Wick riding around New York in a horse and I lost it. I would be disappointed if they don’t include a pencil scene just like in the previous films. Not saying it would take away from the film if there wasn’t one, but I would like to see that tradition going. I hope the John Wick movies go out on a high note with this one.

And that’s it for Trailer Talk. Leave your thoughts in the comments below and let me know what you think.

Peace!!

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