Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I look at six random lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.
I Love College-Asher Roth
It’s the time of the year where people are graduating from college, which is great. So I randomly decided to revisit I Love College by Asher Roth, which presents college life as an endless frat party full of booze and women. As someone who went to college, I can tell you that is a very VERY small case.
That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed
But my good friends is all I need
Pass out at three wake up at 10
Go out to eat, then do it again
Man I love college (hey!)
And I love drinking
And I love women
Man I love college
You know how entertainment exaggerates high school stereotypes? Well, they do the same thing for college. Most college students are more concerned with passing their classes and having enough money to pay for everything than partying every night.
I don't get likes like they get likes, so I'm gonna slit my fuckin' wrist
I’m starting to think that Logic is unqualified to speak on mental illness because he keeps botching it every time. First, the “who can relate” line on the 1-800 song and now this, which is even worse. Oh, but we’re not done with Logic just yet.
Pardon My Ego-Logic
Old girl wanna give the boy head
How about a little bitty self-love instead?
I can't fuck a hoe, I'd rather self-love instead
Wow, that is lame. You’d thought you had something, did ya? “I’d rather go home and jack off to anime porn rather than have sex with an actual woman.” Talk about self-deprecation gone wrong. Why not throw in one more Logic line while we’re at it?
Icy-Logic ft Gucci Mane
I got bitches to fuck, let me see your ID
Nah, I'm just playin', I'm playin'
You know that I'm playin', don't know what I'm sayin'
Sideswipe her Dodge Viper, wood is so bright
I ask does she want a computer lodged in her vagina
Said my dick is an apple, she said put it inside her
You ever come across something so stupid that you’re at a loss for words? This is one of those cases for me. What can you say about a dude comparing his dick to a computer?
Earth-Lil Dicky ft way too many people who should know better
I know I’m late to this, but why not talk about it? So Lil Dicky decided to make a charity single about protecting the environment and he managed to get a whole bunch of celebrities on board including *clears throat* Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Halsey, Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band, Brendon Urie, Hailee Steinfeld, Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dogg, Kevin Heart, Adam Levine, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Sia, Miley Cyrus, Lil Jon, Rita Ora, Miguel, Katy Perry, Lil Yachty, Ed Sheeran, Meghan Trainor, Joel Embiid, Tory Lanez, Psy, Bad Bunny, Kris Wu, and the friggin’ Backstreet Boys. Either Lil Dicky is the nicest guy in the world or he’s the world’s greatest blackmail artist who has some serious dirt on everyone I just named. Oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio is on here, too, because all the proceeds go to Leo’s foundation, which is fine enough until you wonder why would anyone pay money to get a cheap version of We Are The World. As bad as that song was, at least it was curated by talented people in Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie. This pollution of the airwaves, on the other hand, is curated by a hack comedy rapper who only has one joke, if that.
This is getting long winded. Let’s look at the song itself, which consists of bad sex jokes and non-jokes.
(Justin Bieber) Hi, I'm a baboon
I'm like a man, just less advanced and my anus is huge
Getting Justin Bieber to say that he has a huge asshole. I’ll admit that got a little half-second giggle from me.
(Ariana Grande) Hey, I'm a zebra
No one knows what I do, but I look pretty cool
Am I white or black?
This coming from somebody who’s accused of cultural appropriation.
(Zac Brown) How's it going? I'm a cow (Moo!)
You drink milk from my tits (Moo)
(Snoop Dogg) I'm a marijuana plant, I can get you fucked up
Getting Snoop Dogg to make an obvious weed joke.
(Kevin Hart) And I'm Kanye West
Apparently, Kanye’s name is now a punchline. Fitting. I think this explains why he isn’t on this song.
(Adam Levine) Ba-dum-da-dum-dum, ba-dum-da-di
We are the vultures, feed on the dead
A perfect summation of Maroon 5 now.
(Shawn Mendes) We're just some rhinos, horny as heck
(Charlie Puth) I'm just a giraffe, what's with this neck?
Is there supposed to be a joke here?
(Miley Cyrus) I'm an elephant, I got junk in my trunk
No, you don’t. You don’t. Don’t even. I’ve ragged on the celebrity cameos, but let’s shift our attention to Lil Dicky himself, who manages to out-suck everyone.
I'm a man (Hello?)
Can you hear me? (Anyone out there? Hello?)
I've trudged the Earth for so damn long
And still don't know shit (What's going on?)
I hope it's not a simulation (Huh)
Give each other names like Ahmed and Pedro
And, yeah, we like to wear clothes, girls still look beautiful
And it covers up our human dick (Woo), eat a lot of tuna fish
But these days, it's like we don't know how to act
All these shootings, pollution, we under attack on ourselves
Like, let's all just chill (Hey), respect what we built (Hey)
Like look at the Internet! It's cracking as hell
Fellas, don't you love to cum when you have sex? (Ayy)
And I heard women orgasms are better than a dick's (Uh)
So what we got this land for? What we gotta stand for?
Love, and we love the Earth (The Earth)
But this isn’t even the worst part of the song. No, it’s this following line.
We forgive you, Germany
So much to unpack here, might as well just throw the whole suitcase away. I don’t feel like explaining how horrendous this line is and how we STILL have a Nazi problem that’s spread through the Western world and infesting the internet. I’ll just say this: fuck all the way off, Lil Dicky.
Any words, Leo?
(Leonardo DiCaprio) This might be my favorite song ever
This is some great acting from Leo, pretending that this song is any good. I wonder how much he got paid to say this.
And that was Random WTF Lyrics. No lyrics are safe.