Welcome back to Random WTF Lyrics where I look at six random lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.
I Wanna Sex You Up-Color Me Badd
Let me take off all your clothes
Disconnect the phone so nobody knows
I’m pretty sure that’s not how phones work. How would anyone know what’s going on with the other side of the line if the other person doesn’t answer the call? Maybe this person thinks the government has their phone tapped. Makes sense if you think about it. Who knows how many hours of audio of people having sex that the government has?
Should’ve known you was trouble
From the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open
Why were they open?
So your eyes were open, too, right? That’s the only way you would know if her eyes were open or not. This would also mean that you were trouble as well. Ain’t that a lyrical backfire?
Blaze Of Glory-Jon Bon Jovi
I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
Well, thank you for giving me the image of Jon Bon Jovi with six penises. Hey, at least that means he can fuck six different girls at the same time. Don’t ask me how that works because I don’t know.
Figured You Out-Nickelback
You're like my favorite damn disease
Chlamydia? Gonorrhea? Syphillis? Herpes? Crabs? HPV? HIV? Cancer? Which one?
O.M.G.-Usher ft will.i.am
Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow
Only will.i.am could get Usher to say “boobies” on a song and it still hits number one. What were the music-buying public of 2010 thinking?
Shut Up About Politics-John Rich ft The Five
When I saw the title to this song, I said “nope” several times. Then I listened to it and… well…
Shut up (shut up) about politics
Ain't nothing but a big pile of dirty tricks
I'm tired of all the fighting and the bitching fits
So shut up (shut up) about politics
You know? I do my best to keep political talk on this website to a minimum with exceptions being when it’s related to entertainment. Because let’s be honest: political talk sucks. Whether it’d be with your own family or some stranger online, politics is one of those subjects that can get real ugly. And things have only gotten worse since the 2016 election. It shouldn’t be this way because politics is something that affects everyday people and these uncomfortable conversations have to happen. Unfortunately, there’s too many bad-faith actors and grifters who don’t care about making the world a better place, they just want to push their agenda and own the other side. I bring all of this up because the idea of Shut Up About Politics in of itself isn’t a bad one until you realized that it was crafted by a bunch of goddamn hypocrites. Backstory: John Rich is one-half of country duo Big & Rich and a very outspoken conservative. This man made a song endorsing John McCain during the 2008 election. He’s endorsed several Republican politicians during the years and he initially supported Rand Paul during the 2016 election before he dropped out. Unsurprisingly, he supports our current president. I’m not saying that John Rich can’t talk politics, he’s within his rights to do so as an artist and a U.S. citizen. But him telling people to shut up about politics makes him look like a big ol’ hypocrite. Every time he says “shut up about politics,” it comes off desperate and pathetic. Also, Rich wrote this song with Greg Gutfeld of The Five (who have a featuring credit for some reason), a political roundtable show on Fox News a.k.a. the number one Republican propaganda network and Trump’s real political advisors. This is preaching to the choir with conservatives who complain about celebrities getting political while electing one into office and liberals aren’t going to get onboard with a song cowritten by a Fox News host. In short, John Rich should practice what he preaches. We’ll shut up about politics when you shut up about it as well. The only real catharsis I can get out of this is that it dropped out the Hot 100 after one week, which means even Fox News’ target audience have forgotten about this embarrassment. Good.
And that was Random WTF Lyrics. No lyrics are safe.