Target Practice

Target Practice: Taylor Swift “You Need To Calm Down”

Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. What does it take to be a good ally? It’s pretty simple, actually. Being supportive of members of a marginalized group, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation. religion, etc., is kinda obvious, but letting these marginalized groups have a voice is just as (if not, more) important. Because it can get annoying when someone from a privileged group speak on those groups’ behalf. I bring this up because Pride Month was last month and today’s Target Practice was released during that time and it has generated editorials because of the way it offered to show support for the LGBT+ community. This is Taylor Swift’s You Need To Calm Down.

You are somebody that I don't know,
But you're taking shots at me like it's Patrón.
And I'm just like, "Damn!
It's 7 AM."

I see we’re now rehashing Shake It Off territory here where Taylor is calling out haters. Do I really have to retread what I said in that song here? Also, the line “taking shots like Patron” needs to die a slow and painful death.

Say it in the street, that's a knock-out.
But you say it in a tweet, that's a cop-out.
And I'm just like, "Hey!
Are you OK?"

Raise of hand: how many of you believe that Taylor could knock anyone out?

Image result for crickets gif

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression,
But I've learned the lesson
That stressing and obsessing
'Bout somebody else is no fun.
And snakes and stones never broke my bones.

Have you, though?

So, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
You need to calm down.
You're being too loud.
And I'm just like,
"Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
You need to just stop.
Like, can you just not step on my gown?
You need to calm down."

Pot, meet kettle.

You are somebody that we don't know,
But you're coming at my friends like a missile.
Why are you mad
When you could be GLAAD?
(You could be GLAAD.)

And now we’ve reached the part of the song where Taylor pays lip service to the LGBT+ community. First off, “why are you mad when you could be GLAAD” is such a facepalm-inducing dad joke of a line. Second, I have mixed feelings about this. While having one of the biggest pop stars in the world support the LGBT+ community can only be a good thing (hell, the music video features various LGBT+ celebrities in it), how genuine is it in context of this song? It seems like Taylor is comparing people saying mean things about her online to what the LGBT+ community has to go through. A straight white woman comparing her issues to that of the LGBT+ community. Yeah, that’ll go over pretty well.

Sunshine on the street at the parade,
But you would rather be in the dark ages
Just making that sign.
Must've taken all night.

You know what’s funny? In the music video, the anti-LGBT+ people are depicted as stereotypical rednecks protesting because those are the biggest threats to the LGBT+ community, not Christian fundamentalists who considers homosexuality a sin, not political pundits like Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder who make a living off tearing down marginalized groups, and especially not the current GOP who are trying to undermine equality through legislation. It must feel so good to go after low-hanging fruit.

You just need to take several seats
And then try to restore the peace
And control your urges to scream
About all the people you hate
'Cause shade never made anybody less gay

Shade never made anyone less gay. Nor has it made anyone more clever in this case.

And we see you over there on the Internet
Comparing all the girls who are killing it,
But we figured you out.
We all know now.
We all got crowns.
You need to calm down.

………. I got nothing.

This song needs to calm down. Here’s the thing: I can get behind the idea of not spending too much time on people you don’t like and I applaud Taylor for having the backs of LGBT+ people. But the fact that she compared the negative criticism she’s received to what that community has to deal with on a daily basis is a nonsensically bad way of being an ally. It reminds me of when major corporations co-opt Pride Month and change their profile pictures on social media to rainbows, not because they give a shit about the issues that affects them, but because they want woke brownie points. I can’t say whether or not Taylor herself is being genuine, but I don’t get that looking at the song itself and the accompanying music video. Then again, as a straight person, I can’t speak for the LGBT+ community. Their opinion on this matter is more important than mine’s. All of this is more interesting to talk about than the song itself, but it’s basically Shake It Off part 2 without some of the annoying elements. It’s not bad, but it’s flimsy and kinda mediocre. Next Target Practice, …



Freedom-Beyonce ft Kendrick Lamar

3 thoughts on “Target Practice: Taylor Swift “You Need To Calm Down”

  1. Guessing you have not decided on the next target practice which it could be a surprise to us. Maybe it could be a song from the dumpster fire of 2006? 1989? At leastthis song is more tolerable than some of Taylor Swift’s other songs. Since many songs of the week come from Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Maybe a list of the best songs featured in Grand Theft Auto or Guardians of the Galaxy.


  2. As you put it, this song and Taylor Swift herself need to calm down. It’s good that she wants to support the LGBT+ community as well as be more of a political advocate for Democratic causes but the problem I have is that she’s quickly turning into that person who likes to act like they know everything about the issues going on while coming off as incredibly tone-deaf about them which shows in this song. Todd In The Shadows said it best in his review in that even with the political message, the whole narrative and meaning of the song still revolves around Taylor instead of the LGBT+ community that it’s supposed to be about. She’s just too famous and egocentric to pull off this kind of song. This is basically just another one of Taylor’s anti-hater songs like Shake It Off but with lyrics about the LGBT+ community so she could cash in on Pride Month and be hip with them like everyone else and it has no doubt backfired considering how this song is flopping on the Hot 100. As Leo Da Prince said here, Macklemore’s Same Love is a much better song that supports LGBT+ rights cause despite what people may say about it, Macklemore actually goes deep into the root of the problem in our culture and society instead of dismissing anti-LGBT+ people as lazy rednecks like Taylor did here. Also, Same Love is a better song musically which helps get the message across. You Need To Calm Down on the other hand is just more generic pop fluff that we’ve been hearing a lot from Taylor recently so I think I’ll be better off without it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. a good song that supports LGBT issues is Same Love. This song isn’t anywhere close to being as well-written, well performed or well produced. Given that this is possibly flopping, I don’t think even the LGBT community gives a shit about this song or the fact that T-Swift has their back. Same Love felt genuine regardless of what people may have thought about it and whatever unfair backlash it got, this almost feels like a manufactured song made to appeal to the LGBTs to sell records while at the same time being just another “Shake It Off”. Given I’m a religious person, I shouldn’t be speaking on the matter, but the bottom line is listen to Macklemore’s song if you want a genuine song that supports the gays. Also, Taylor needs to stop rapping, enough said.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.