Trailer Talk

Trailer Talk #5

Welcome back to Trailer Talk, where I talk about the latest trailers and teasers for upcoming movies. Let’s get started.

MULAN (2020)

So I saw The Lion King remake a while ago and… I didn’t like it. While it was an amazing visual accomplishment, my biggest concerns for that film came to fruition as it’s pretty much a soulless copy-paste recreation of the original 1994 film that only exists because Disney decided to go the cheap and lazy route of remaking their classic animated movies into live action and cash in on people’s nostalgia the same way they did with Aladdin and Beauty And The Beast. Sorry. I know I keep harping on this and I’m not the only one tired of these live-action remakes. But all of the movies I mentioned made a billion dollars at the box office, so Disney are going to keep pumping these out and I guarantee you that the live-action Little Mermaid with black Ariel will add another billion for the Big Mouse. Tangent over, let’s talk about the live-action Mulan that’s coming out next year. I’ll say this, it doesn’t look that bad. It has some nice visuals, leaning more heavily into the Chinese aesthetic than the animated movie and amping up the action. There were rumors that Mushu won’t be in the film, that he’ll be replaced by a phoenix, and the songs from the animated version will just be instrumentals as part of the score. That’s disappointing. Also, Li Shang won’t be in the movie and neither is Shan Yu, who will be replaced with a different villain. While I’m not too crazy about a lot of these changes, I’d take it over them doing the same shit as the original. If Disney are going to keep making these live-action remakes, they should do something different with them and from this teaser, that’s exactly where they’re going with Mulan, even when they’re removing things that people liked about the original. I wish I could be excited for this movie, but like most of these live-action remakes, I just can’t.

MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL

While we’re on the topic of Disney, let’s talk about Maleficent. Again. With this new trailer, we see more of an idea of what the plot is going to be. Aurora wants to marry Prince Phillip and Maleficent is like…

When Aurora’s mother decides to take her back, this is when Maleficent turns evil again and thus, another war begins. Also, there’s other horned fairies like Maleficent and one of them is played by Chiwetel Ejiofor in his second role in a Disney film this year. Yeah, still not interested in this movie. Next.

THE KING’S MAN

While I loved Kingsman: The Secret Service, Kingsman: The Golden Circle was an underwhelming sequel that killed any anticipation I had for this franchise. Then, Fox announced that they were doing a prequel film that takes place before those films called The King’s Man. Sounds like the title to a gay porn parody. Anyways, in terms of plot, we don’t get much besides a vague showing of the Kingsman’s origins and I’ll admit I’m intrigued by this. I didn’t need a film like this, but setting this plot in what I believe is World War I does present something interesting. Will it be good is something we won’t know until the film is released, but it has my curiosity.

IT: CHAPTER TWO

Well, I’m now more excited for this film. IT: Chapter Two is my second most anticipated film of the year behind The Rise Of Skywalker. With this final trailer, we see more of the Losers Club as adults and Pennywise is ready to fuck shit up. There’s going to be a lot of psychological games played and maybe some gruesome deaths. The movie’s coming next month and I am ready for all 2 hours and 49 minutes of IT. I wonder if Pennywise’s true form is a giant spider like in the miniseries. Somehow, there’s a possibly that they won’t go that direction since the films are going to a darker route.

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

So they’re making another Top Gun movie. 34 years after the original. Yeah. So Top Gun: Maverick is a sequel to the original 1986 film with Tom Cruise returning as Maverick alongside Val Kilmer as Iceman. The fact that they’re making a sequel to Top Gun and that it took this long to make it is concerning because when you watch this trailer, you have a guy trying to recapture his glory days. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere. If you couldn’t guess, I’m not excited for this film. It’s another example of Hollywood relying on old ideas instead of taking risks with newer ones.

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP

Holy shit, Zombieland came out ten years ago. Time flies by too quick. This 2009 horror comedy presents a more lighthearted view of the zombie flick as it follows our four protagonists who are searching for sanctuary away from the zombies. Now, we have a sequel taking place ten years later and I’m concerned. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed this trailer as it hits all the beats that made Zombieland such an enjoyable flick. But that’s an issue as well because what else does this have to offer? Honestly, this is one of those stories that doesn’t need to continue and it seems like the studio cashing in on the success of the original. But the original came out a decade ago and people moved on. Chances are this becomes an underwhelming sequel that doesn’t live up to the original. And now let’s wrap this up with the best for last. Strap in, folks.

CATS (2019)

So. This… unholy abomination from the pits of Hell has been unleashed into the unsuspecting world. Universal Pictures’ Cats, which is based on the immensely popular Broadway musical of the same name that was an adaptation of a 1939 T.S. Eliot book. It has an ensemble cast that includes James Corden, Idris Elba, Jason Derulo, Ian McKellen, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, etc., and is set to be released on December 20, the same day as the next Star Wars. It’s easy to tell who the winner of the box office that week will be. When Universal released the trailer online, this was the internet’s collective reaction.

So you know how in the musical, everyone is dressed like anthropomorphic cats? Well, they did just that, but they achieved the look with a mixture of practical effects and CGI and the results are…

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Yyyyyyyeah. This shit is more terrifying than any horror movie released this year. Even the furries aren’t feeling this shit. The cats look like the hairballs of Mike Meyers’ Cat In The Hat. This isn’t even uncanny valley, this is the uncanny trench. Why couldn’t they just use practical effects alone? You didn’t need the CGI, except for maybe the tails. Oh, my goodness. What if this is how they do a live-action Thundercats movie? That movie would be doomed from the start. I know very little about Cats and I’m sure the music will be good with the amount of singers casted, but it’s difficult not to be distracted by the visuals. Jesus H. Christ. Universal just beat Sonic The Hedgehog for the worst CGI in a trailer this year. But at least the Sonic movie has been pushed back to next year so that they can do a redesign after the initial backlash. I doubt that Cats will have that same luxury.

And that’s it for Trailer Talk. Leave your thoughts in the comments below and let me know what you think.

Peace!!

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