Welcome back to another Random WTF Lyrics where I look at six random lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.
FuckWitMeYouKnowIGotIt-Jay Z ft Rick Ross
Reeboks on, I just do it, nigga
You know? I feel bad for Rick Ross. Because there’s nobody in his circle fact-checking his rhymes every time he records. The dude thinks that Expedia is the same as Wikipedia and that text messages can’t be monitored through a tapped phone. Now, he thinks that Reeboks’ slogan is Just Do It and not, you know, Nike’s. Somebody please be Rick Ross’ fact-checker so that we don’t get any embarrassing lines like this in the future.
He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm
I don’t know about you, but if someone doesn’t love you, isn’t it implied that they have no charm? I’m just saying, if you’re trying to steal someone’s girlfriend, don’t compliment the other dude. Diss his fashion sense, his height, his financial status, say that you can satisfy this girl better than he can. It would be shallow, but it’s consistent. Why are you talking about his charm? That makes it seem like you’re hitting on the dude instead.
Trap Or Die-Jeezy
Got diarrhea flow, now I shit on niggaz
Even when I'm constipated, I still shit on niggaz
I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. When you’re constipated, it means you can’t shit, so there’s no way you can shit on someone. Either way you try to justify it, this is a poorly-executed line.
Black Republicans-Lil Wayne ft Juelz Santana
Surprisingly, this next one doesn’t come from Lil Wayne, but from Juelz Santana.
Rock star, flier than an ostrich
You know? It’s one thing to not be an expert on birds, but there’s some basic facts that are universally known when it comes to birds, mainly that not every bird species can fly and ostriches, the largest living birds on the planet, are one of them. If you don’t know something, just Google it.
Love Will Keep Us Together-Captain & Tenille
Young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turnin' you on
I will, I will, I will
And now we have the images of two old people fucking burned into our brains. Thanks, Captain & Tenille.
Pumping Blood-Lou Reed & Metallica
Remember Lulu? For those that don’t know, Lulu was a collaboration album from Lou Reed and Metallica. It was universally derided by critics and fans who felt that the two differing styles didn’t mesh together well. Well, here’s a song from that album, which contains this line.
If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute
Would you think less of me
Okay, two things. One, I don’t want the image of Lou Reed twerking in my brain. Two, dark prostitute?
Now I’m not saying that Lou Reed is a racist. To jump to that conclusion without evidence would be dumb. But I still have to question why specifically mention a dark prostitute. I can see someone interpreting this to mean someone who doesn’t have any morals whatsoever, but it can also be interpreted as someone with a darker skin complexion.
And that was Random WTF Lyrics. No lyrics are safe.