Random WTF Lyrics

Random WTF Lyrics #62

Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I look at six random lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.

Sasuke-Lil Uzi Vert

You ever get the feeling that some rappers use the aesthetics of anime as a costume more than a creative idea for songs? That’s the feeling I get when I come across Lil Uzi Vert, who has a song named after Sasuke. For non-anime people, Sasuke Uchiha is a major character from the Naruto series who’s a rival to the titular character. I’m not entirely against the idea of making a song comparing one’s self to said character because of his tragic backstory and how that could tie into the experiences of some black men. Then again, I’m putting more thought into the idea of the song than Lil Uzi Vert did.

Yeah, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke
This is not no Naruto, but I chop that like Sasuke

Not to nitpick, but chop that like Sasuke? As someone who watched the entire Naruto series, I can confirm that Sasuke doesn’t do any chopping. He does use a sword in the latter half of the series, but swords slice, cut, and stab, not chop, so this reference doesn’t work at all. By the way, this is the ONLY Naruto reference we get throughout the entire song. The rest of the lyrics are more flexing, gunplay, and sex talk. In other words, more of the same ol’ shit from Lil Uzi. Even his fans weren’t feeling this song.

Nothin’ On You-B.o.B ft Bruno Mars

You're my Wonder Woman call me Mr. Fantastic
Stop, now think about it

Wonder Woman is a DC character while Mister Fantastic is a Marvel character. The chances of these two meeting up are pretty much at zero unless Marvel and DC decide to collaborate on another crossover involving the Justice League and Fantastic Four.

I Think I’m In Love With You-Jessica Simpson

I don't know what's gotten into me
But, God, I think I know what it is

Look, I know teenybopper songs by nature don’t have the best, most thought-provoking writing, but this? So do you know what’s gotten into you or not? It can’t be both at the same time. Pick one.

I’m The One-DJ Khaled ft Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, & Lil Wayne

She like the price, she see the ice, it make her coochie melt

I know exactly what they’re talking about and it’s gross, but she see the ice, it make her coochie melt? How, Sway? Where’s the logic?

Feedback-Janet Jackson

'Cause my swag is serious
Something heavy like a first day period

You Said A Bad Word-Joe Tex

You all remember Joe Tex, right? He did that song Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman), which was number 2 on my Worst of 1977 list. Well, he also made this song You Said A Bad Word and… oh, boy. So it’s apparently Joe Tex catching a girl saying something profane and confronting her for it. I’m not sure I like where this is going.

Ahh, you said a bad word
I'm gonna tell your mama on you, huh
She gonna whip you, too, huh
Yeah, that's what's she's gonna do
Get down at your bad self
Talking that bad talk
Saying them bad words
You said a bad word
You'd better take it back
Cause good little girls
Don't talk like that
And if I told your mama
What you said
She'd make you come in the house
And go to bed

Seriously? Good little girls? Can we not do this? Oh, but it gets worse.

But now, wait a minute
We can make a deal
If you do what I tell you
I won't tell your mama on you
Let me whisper in your ear
I don't want everybody
Listening to our business
Come here
Are you gonna do it?
Huh, huh, huh?
Are you gonna do it?
Huh, huh, huh?
Are you gonna do it?
Huh, huh, huh?
Are you gonna do it?
Huh, huh, huh?
Shocked Face Wtf GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

A guy making a deal with a VERY young girl and telling her not to tell on her mom about it. Yeah, not suspect at all. Sweet buttery Christ buckets. Did anyone involved in the making of this song not catch how this situation could sound horrible? Or was that Joe Tex’s goal all along, to make morally abhorrent songs that no one would catch because they’re too high on quaaludes and cocaine to notice it at the time. That would make the most logical sense.

And that was Random WTF Lyrics. No lyrics are safe.